To want dc2 to be summerborn for financial reasons?(106 Posts)
Obviously I know you can't plan these things too too much, but if our next baby is born in July or August 2014:
- my bonus will be included in my mat pay calcs
- dd will be almost 3 and will get funded childcare places so her nursery costs will be lower, minimizing the cost whilst I'm in mat pay.
- by the time dc2 goes to nursery dd will still have a years worth of funding
- dc2 will require a year less childcare due to being one of the youngest in the year
Am I being naive/foolish for crossing my fingers for this?? Obviously this is based on numerous assumptions but I just wondered if I'm the only one who tries to "engineer" their pregnancies to maximise their financial situation?!?!
Mirai it's true that one can't assume- although I have only ever had unprotected sex once in my life and it resulted in DD, so perhaps the same will happen next time! But if you know you'd prefer to have a baby in, say, early August, you give yourself the maximum chance of this by beginning TTC in early November. If it doesn't work it doesn't work, but obviously you won't get what you want if you don't try. In your case, the sensible thing would be to start TTC in July. Either it works, in which case you get your April baby. Or it doesn't, in which case you have to decide whether you'd rather wait another year to have an April baby, or keep trying and probably conceive before that. You have to be in it to win it!
My birthday *is Aug 31st
(I am so obviously not disadvantaged by my summer birthday that I can even make correct sentences. Sometimes)
My birthday Aug 31st. My teacher Mum was worried (due mid Sept) but without boasting or listing my CV, it's fair to say it has never held me back academically. I never struggled at school or Uni and have a successful professional career.
My first DS is a Feb baby and no 2 is due in July. I really can't get hung up about the school performance thing. There are so many more important factors.
"I love being summer born, my birthday is equidistant from Xmas"
That's why DD likes having a summer birthday. SIL's birthday is just before Christmas and OH's just after and he never enjoys his birthday. Being one of the youngest hasn't held her back. She is in the top sets for everything at school and we can do fun, outdoor things for her birthday.
Very good point re illness honeytea.
Miria, pretty much. I held off until the start of my window. Then tried. Obviously it then depends how quickly you conceive.
Oh and I don't mean August born babies are disliked btw haha
I've never heard of this dislike for August born babies before. Maybe because I'm in Scotland and August babies are middle in the school year. My eldests a birthday is 31st August, and he was born at 11.59pm. How annoying if I was wishing for a September baby haha
I had crazy reasons for wanting a Nov/Dec baby so that I would still be able to go snowboarding! So we started trying in march/April as one season finished...
Of course nature was having none of it and we didn't conceive till September and are awaiting our June arrival. (But funnily enough I don't care there's no snowboarding this year now!)
As a July baby my mum tells me how lovely it was even though the summer was very hot because she could let me be naked or just in a nappy. My birthday was always a nice opposite to Christmas and could be spent outdoors. In those days I don't think there was as much angst about achievement and comparisons with peers. That said I turned out ok (straight a's and a first at uni )
I hope my baby will be happy and healthy and if s/he needs support over the years I will give it but not blame myself that I gave birth at a 'disadvantaged' time of year.
And finally in these economic times I wouldn't be surprised if plenty of people are working things out like the op, but like many have said it may not be that easy - I certainly didn't want to stop TTC because my timing window had closed.
I have no idea, I just like things to be neat I think and so the first one was say 12-8-2002 and so they all had to be. Their names all have the same number of letters and the letter DH and I's name begins with in their somewhere too.
It looks very well laid out when I sign cards from us all
I wanted even number birthdates in terms of day month and year. Got them all although DS was June and I wanted October really. They were all perfectly spaced and came exactly to plan so it can work out
If we try for dc2 I will aim for an April birth. I'm in hospital with 5 week old ds he has re virus, it's so sad to see him so Ill, I don't think I could cope with the worry I would have for a second winter born baby.
Just to reassure people, being an August baby is great! I never suffered at school due to being born in August and I was always in the top sets for everything except Maths which I just wasn't interested in. Birthdays were good as it was always sunny so I could have parties in the garden and DM felt less pressure too as we didn't have to inite the entire class!
To those if you who plan for a baby... How? Do you just assume you'll get pregnant on the first month of trying and get lucky?
I'd love a baby next April as it would fit in with many things on the practical side, March and earlier would be no good, so how could I plan that?!
Can I just say thank you to those who've taken the time to post positive August baby stories.
It is reassuring, thank you.
Sage, it's awful isn't it. The number of similar stories I hear is shocking. And the enormous heart ache it causes. Glad yours worked out too.
Yanbu to want to have a baby when it will be most financially advantageous. It's true that summer born babies are at a disadvantage academically, but it isn't a particularly big one and other factors are likely to be more important. Did you and DH do well at school? If so, the odds are that your DC will, whenever they are born.
However, I don't especially recommend an August birth. Not so much because of being huge when it's hot- I'm not sure that's any worse than having morning sickness then. But it means you'll be feeling dog rough around Christmas time, which is a bit shit. It also means you might, as I did, give birth in the week when all the junior doctors are changing jobs. I was left for several hours until it was too late to have an epidural, and have been told by a doctor friend that the timing probably had something to do with it because more people than usual would've been on training. That said, I'll probably TTC DC2 to be born in summer again, because I have a lot of family who work in schools so more help will be available then.
I think it is great that DD1 is the youngest in her year. She started preschool 3 days after she turned 3, in September. That preschool is attached to the primary she will go to and is rated outstanding. Some of the children in her class were about to turn 4 when they started the preschool. She has started learning to read/write a whole year earlier than the older children, and she is keeping up well. Much better imo than her stopping at nursery (which is caring but not academic as you would expect) until she turned 4.
But then everyone in my family, including (Dr) DH is born in June/July/August, except DM who broke the tradition with April. We are all successful academically <shrugs>
YANBU to want a baby when it suits you. YABVU if you think life will always work put the way you want. 18m TTC and one MC (my 2nd) later, I'm in the group that would be bloody delighted with any baby at all.
Ds1 was due in late May but arrived early in June. The weather was warm but not unbearable in the last weeks of pregnancy and it was great to lumber off out for tea in gardens. Ds1 certainly didn't suffer academically and his birthday was always in school term with the added bonus of usually very good weather. Toilet training was done in summertime and was so much easier because it was warm and fewer clothes were needed.
In many practical ways, having a summer born child was great. Ds2 was born in December and I'd choose June over 10 days before Christmas any time!
Alice- I can empathise with the dire 20 week scan. Ditto here. We were also (mistakenly) advised at 32 weeks to terminate or that they could induce me and not resuscitate! Thankfully we ignored and continued! Sorry you've had to go through what you've gone through.
I guess I'm envious of people who do get to plan conception. I don't have that choice. We have no way to have any more babies either and all my friends are now on their Second or third babies and I just feel sad.
A baby at any time is a total blessing.
My DD2 is a late August baby. Was due early September.
As it turns out she has some SN, primarily severe speech delay.
Since she started reception she has had much more speech therapy and support than preschool where she basically just played on her own.
I see her starting school early as giving her a leg up and a bit of a headstart.
She loves school and thrives on the more structured routine and discipline.
OP, go for it!
I wouldn't have wanted DD to be born in the summer because I have lots of friends who said it was horrible always being the youngest at school. However, I have always envied them for having lovely summer birthdays. Mine is just after Christmas which is crap!
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