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To get rid of puppy?

(237 Posts)
chubbychipmonk Wed 23-Jan-13 13:12:44

Posting this on behalf on friend who doesn't know what to do.

She has a 4 yr old DD & 8 year old DS, is also in a relationship with DP who has 8 year old DD who stays at the house regularly.

She bought a Dalmatian puppy at Xmas who up until now has been playful & boisterous. She has been taking him to puppy classes & he seems to be training well. Last night however she was in the kitchen, heard a scream & found the dog had jumped up on DD & bitten her behind the ear whilst trying to retrieve a toy. Resulted in a hospital visit, tetanus jag & stitches.

Her DP (as well as his ex) now understandably don't want the dog round their daughter. My opinion is also that she should get rid of the dog as its too big a risk. However she has spoken to otherswho advise that the dog is merely being playful & she should persevere. Basically she just wants to see what the common consensus is, it's already causing arguments between her & DP. My opinion is she's being unreasonable to keep the puppy but what do others think?

tedsmam Wed 23-Jan-13 14:16:25

sad and stupid.

At least if she rehomes it now whilst young, and still developing, it has time to be properly trained and cared for by someone with more than a passing interest in having a dog.

Hope she at least takes finding it a new home seriously and doesn't just pass the pup onto anyone - it's shame for the pup to have to be rehomed but this family don't seem to be in it for the right reasons,

StuntGirl Wed 23-Jan-13 14:17:52

Your friend is an idiot who clearly does not have the knowledge or understanding to keep a dog. And now the poor thing faces an uncertain future thanks to your friends foolishness and short sightedness.

HazleNutt Wed 23-Jan-13 14:18:15

Her DP who does not even live there wants to rehome, and not her? Her DP is the unreasonable one then. The puppy is not agressive, it's a puppy and yes they might bite, scratch and knock you over when excited. That's what puppies do.

Tell her to rehome the puppy.

I am very very much against sticking puppies in rescue because of a little nip but in this case I think I would rather see a dog in a reputable rescue and eventually rehomed than left with someone who leaves it all day, doesn't train it, leaves the puppy and the children alone unsupervised and clearly has got no clue.

Put the puppy in a good rescue and hopefully he will find a loving home.

And you have no idea how hard it was for me to say add another puppy to the 100s already abandoned by idiotic owners who buy cute puppies for xmas.

and FGS a reputable rescue

do not put the puppy for sale on facebook or gumtree or preloved.

DeepRedBetty Wed 23-Jan-13 14:28:40

Hi, I think your friend is looking for ammo to support her choice of keeping the puppy on, against her dp who wants rid. Sorry, is DP actually living with your friend or just around a lot?

I think she will get there, but she needs to train everyone in the house about puppies as well as the puppy iyswim. It's a shame she's at work for large chunks of three days of the week, but I've supported quite a lot of families through this stage now and only once has it gone wrong - and that time was unrealistic expectations from the owner.

DeepRedBetty Wed 23-Jan-13 14:33:30

Sorry just to be clear I run a dog walking agency and regularly support families who want a family pet but can only take the first few weeks off to settle it in. The routine described is exactly what I'd suggest for a dog of this age.

Dalmatians are boisterous and scatty but ultimately rewarding, both my mum and sister have them - my mum's on her fourth - and the only person any of them has ever bitten was a stranger who trespassed into our garden when I was a child and leaned over the baby's pram.

happynewmind Wed 23-Jan-13 14:35:30

Ok I will get flamed for this but here goes.

Two years ago we rehomed a pup to someone else we knew.

My dd has SN but not severe. I had lots of experience with dogs but we waited until dd was 8 before getting a pup to make sure she was old enough to understand, she was used to dogs and spent every weekend with my mums and families, they were all big breeds and she loved playing tug and cuddling and feeding them.

We got a puppy and it was a disaster, dd having been used to big chunky dogs was unintentionally too rough when cuddling, she was too rough when playing, she would throw the ball and race for it as she had been doing with the bigger dogs but because it was a puppy she would get there first everytime which meant understandably he became very frustrated.

I never left them unsupervised, I disciplined dd, I kept them seperate, I would not let dd be in the room alone with the puppy, she was punished. She used to cry and cry for the puppy, she loved him so much she just did not understand what she was doing wrong and no amount of explaining worked. The puppy would get over excited as puppies do which would push dd further over the boundaries for giddyness.

The problem was the second I went to the loo or in the shower she would make a bolt for him. If he saw her puppy would run to her. I could not be in the same room the whole time.

We were attending puppy training, we were involving dd with that trying to help her learn in a positive way. We got him a crate so he could get away and dd was drilled that this was his place and she was not to go there or get him.

Things got worse though and he started growling and snapping, he bit dd on the face twice and on her hand, not in a puppy play way, we got help and advice but he started to snap and snarl at everyone.

We made the decision that it was better for HIM and his life to not be near my dd and for us to have no dog until she was at a point she could understand. We decided it was better to give him a chance now while he was still a puppy and behaviour could be unlearned than to have a dog at six months who had completely lost his patience and temper and would likely be put to sleep.

It broke DDs heart and she has never forgiven me but a friend of ours with grown up children who was retired took him and he has a lovely life.

DD see's him now and she is wonderful with him as is she with my mums jrt cross but at the time I know I made the right decision for the puppy.

As it stands I would never ever get a puppy again.

Well it sounds to me like she is putting the time in.
She's walking it regularly etc. etc...
She knew not to leave it unsupervised with the kids and I don't think it will happen again.
Sorry, but to me it sounds like it will have a lovely home and family and it also seems as though they are willing to put the time and money in to get it trained.
Hope the assessment goes well and all is good in the end.

chubbychipmonk Wed 23-Jan-13 14:42:28

To clarify, her DP has only recently moved in however works offshore so is rarely there, when he is there his DD comes to stay too.

HopAndSkip Wed 23-Jan-13 14:43:09

Puppies bite their brother and sisters in play, they need to be taught not to. That's like saying because a toddler pushes, they will go through their adult life pushing everyone.
The puppy should be supervised with the children until there is absolutly no concern and the dog is a calm adult dog with no risk of the children teasing it.

Pinot Wed 23-Jan-13 14:47:29

chubby

where is she located? I could possibly rehome the dog with me? Am in Sussex.

PM me if that's a possibility? thanks

sooperdooper Wed 23-Jan-13 14:50:39

I wouldn't rehome - but your friend and her DP need to be much more reponsible - young children should not, under any circumstances be left alone with a dog, especially a young, easily excited puppy, for the sake of the dog & the child

As is usually the case, it's the owners who cause the majority of dog issues, not the animal

DeepRedBetty Wed 23-Jan-13 16:41:04

happynewmind so sorry it didn't work out for you and your dd - but I don't think your story is equivalent to the OP's friend's.

Did you think about rehoming an older, larger breed dog afterwards?

thegreylady Wed 23-Jan-13 16:58:30

It sounds as if the child was teasing the puppy with a toy-holding the toy up by her head while the puppy jumped up trying to get it. The puppy was not at fault here and I am sure he can be trained but the children must be taught too-no teasing and encouraging the dog to jump. Puppy classes will help a lot. However if she is going to rehome it needs to be now and preferably through a Breed Rescue rehoming service.

Nincompoopery Wed 23-Jan-13 17:06:46

Puppies and children HAVE to be supervised at all times. Our puppy is now 9 months old and I do not leave him alone with my 3 year old DD at all. Even in the same room accidents can happen and at this age that's all they are, accidents. DD may tease him, he may play too rough and don't forget puppies also go through teething just like children so there will be a bitey element at least for the first year.
Your friend in buying the puppy, has made a commitment to care for and love the puppy for the long term and should not be looking at getting rid at the first hurdle. However if she does not have the commitment to look after it then it will be in the puppies best interests to be returned to breeder so that a more appropriate home can be sought.

Nincompoopery Wed 23-Jan-13 17:10:46

Happynewmind, sorry to hear your story. You were obviously in it for the long haul and gave the puppy every chance to be a part of your family and did not give up at the first hurdle. unfortunately this did not work out for you but you did what was best for you, your family and the puppy.

SugarMouse1 Wed 23-Jan-13 17:11:40

How does your partners DD feel about this?

If she is now very frightened of the dog, then maybe you should rehome it. However, it would be a shame for her to be scared of dogs for life because she is going to meet them whatever happens, in her life.

How did you buy the puppy before christmas? I thought it was illegal to sell animals in the weeks before xmas for this reason.

Maybe consult a professional dog behaviourist if concerned.

recall Wed 23-Jan-13 17:16:28

chubbychipmonk Good on you for coming on here to get advise, I hope that the situation gets resolved in everyone's best interest, ( especially the pup ) best of luck smile

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Wed 23-Jan-13 17:21:28

So your friend bought a puppy for/around Xmas... As of course that is exactly what a responsible dog owner would do and what a responsible breeder would let happen...

As others have said children and dogs need to be supervised while together and they both need to be taught how to interact appropriately with each other, which it would seem hasn't happened since it sounds like your dps dd was teasing him. What did your friend think would happen if the puppy was teased? And they now want rid after one nip, best they never get another puppy or any dog since they are all capable of nipping even the most well trained ones

Puppies have limited knowledge of bite inhibition and do go through phases of nipping. It is up to the puppies owner to teach them not to nip, failure to do so leads to fully grown dogs nipping/biting...

If your friend does decide to rehome then, usually I would suggest returning the puppy to the breeder but since no decent breeder sells pups at Xmas I will recommend finding a breed specific rescue. There are a few dalmatian ones in the UK and puppies are generally easier to rehome. Do not advertise him on dodgy sites (Gumtree, freeads ect) since that's just asking for the dog to end up in a bad environment.

porridgewithalmondmilk Wed 23-Jan-13 17:24:45

I also had to rehome my much-adored dog. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do and I still get upset now.

I used to live near my retired dog-loving father, who would have the dog during the day and then I would pick her up after work. Unfortunately, I was unlucky enough to experience workplace bullying. I did get another position but quite a long way away, meaning I had to move house. My poor little dog was left alone in the house. I tried so hard to make it work, but I couldn't - she was used to being held and loved all the time (she was a little lap-dog) so even a dog walker twice a day wasn't enough.

I rehomed her through a rescue centre but she went straight to her new home - I couldn't have left her in a pen. She lives with a vicar now smile

It breaks my heart to think of it, although it was the right thing, but my gentle little dog also nipped as a puppy. They just do, it's like babies teething. It doesn't mean they're nasty or aggressive!

I hope no one thinks I was heartless, I promise it was just horrendous and I miss her.

I have 3 cats now, all from a rescue centre, I hope one day I will be able to share my home with a dog again. I feel terrible that she was there for me when I neededher but I couldn't return the favour sad

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Wed 23-Jan-13 17:25:19

How did you buy the puppy before christmas? I thought it was illegal to sell animals in the weeks before xmas for this reason.

It's not illegal as far as I'm aware. Sellers are advised against it (reputable breeders refuse to let their pups go to new homes until after Xmas) and I don't think rescues let you adopt around Xmas

Branleuse Wed 23-Jan-13 17:34:44

ill take him if she wants

theodorakisses Wed 23-Jan-13 17:36:32

What did you expect with a Dalmation? Please don't try to rehome, it's not fair. Either keep or PTS.

D0oinMeCleanin Wed 23-Jan-13 17:40:56

You're not serious Theo, surely?! Pts over rehome? Why?

How is murder more fair than responsible rehoming. This is a puppy we are talking about, not an adult dog with issues.

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