AIBU to think there is a problem on MN discussing anything at all to do with income

(335 Posts)
amillionyears Wed 23-Jan-13 10:07:26

There are a lot of threads started nowadays, that are causing offence to people who are on low incomes.

It is getting increasingly difficult for those on higher incomes to discuss quite a lot of things.

I dont know if the answer is for those with more income, to not talk much about anything, or those with less income to let them talk about what they want to talk about.

I dont know the answer to all of this.
I would like both sets, or indeed anyone in the middle, to be in harmony on MN!

Nancy66 Wed 23-Jan-13 10:09:09

I agree to an extent. However you have to see how the 'we earn £250k and are broke' threads don't go down well when there are people who can't afford to put the heating on.

Tee2072 Wed 23-Jan-13 10:11:11

I completely agree with you. We are borderline with our income, since I freelance some months are easier than others. But I don't feel I can discuss it because as soon as you have any money around here you're being or insensitive.

mrsjay Wed 23-Jan-13 10:11:16

of course people can start threads about income but when people post about thei huge incomes and not being able to afford a holiday inthe maldives this year
it is taking the piss people can't pay their mortgages or heat their houses,

KirstyoffEastendersweirdtoplip Wed 23-Jan-13 10:12:38

I propose a caveat be added to the title, something like 'warning: poor people may be offended by this' or 'please only read if you earn more than £??? per year'?

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 10:14:40

It's just called sensitivity.

Same on here as in RL, or should be.

Would anyone stand in a random group of strangers in the playground and talk about their income issues without knowing how others were fixed...?

Anniegetyourgun Wed 23-Jan-13 10:15:53

Talking about money is so middle class, darling.

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 10:16:07

I don't find it difficult to talk about anything much tbh - I am not sure what the pressing issues are that can't be raised?

Netguru Wed 23-Jan-13 10:16:31

Quite agree. I was agonising over a decision over the new year. My husband said quite seriously why don't you see what mumsnetters say. I explained that as the decision needed financial info and we earn a lot I'd just be told to shut up.

Shame

I agree to a certain extent, the "I earn over £60K but I'm skint" ones piss me off. Or the ones where people deem themselves too good to share a house but are too 'poor' for renting outside of their parents home (which they then complain about). Or those who live beyond their means and then complain that they have no money.
But I think discussing income shouldn't be a taboo on MN unless it's one of the above situations!

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 10:17:54

Paggy - you are right m'dear!

I don't either.

How interesting...

amillionyears Wed 23-Jan-13 10:18:12

But it is the sensitivity that is the problem really.

In rl,you more or less know who you are talking to, and if needs be, roughly what income group they are in.
So can talk accordingly.

But on MN, there is or must be an almost complete range of people, and incomes.
And you are basically talking to them all at once.

Pagwatch Wed 23-Jan-13 10:19:31

But what do you want to post that you can't?

ubik Wed 23-Jan-13 10:20:02

As others have said, it depends on the thread context and those moaning about not having enough money for a foreign holiday each year because they are privately educating their children should, quite rightly, get s reality check.

Isabeller Wed 23-Jan-13 10:20:09

This is a really important question IMHO! Mumsnet is an amazing opportunity not available in previous times of austerity for people in very different positions not to be isolated within homogeneous groups.

It gives us a chance 'look for the similarities' and see if we can live peacefully with the differences.

Do you think amillionyears that if you are better off than 90% of people it is possible that a democratic majority might question one or another aspects of the relative position they find themselves in?

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 10:20:27

So be MORE sensitive.

Really need some examples of non-discussables, because, as Pag said, I don't have any issues I think I'd better not discuss, so I don't understand the problem.

Sugarice Wed 23-Jan-13 10:21:43

High earners should be able to have their say and a moan on a public forum.

It's often how the OP is phrased that gets people's backs up.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 10:22:01

And you know what? If people can't afford lovely foreign hols because of school fees - and they are MOANING ABOUT IT...they bloody well do need a reality check, and sharpish.

Hullygully Wed 23-Jan-13 10:23:28

Depends what they moan about, sugarice, some probs are universal: worried about dc, husband cheating, probs with MILs etc etc, some = "privileged problems" and anyone with any sensitivity/kindness/humanity wouldn't think to moan about them.

diddl Wed 23-Jan-13 10:23:53

I do wonder if it´s even necessary to mention a figure, though?

I mean that may depend on the problem of course.

But if it´s needing help to stretch things or where to look for what benefits you might be eligible for-is a figure necessary?

mrsjay Wed 23-Jan-13 10:24:59

It's often how the OP is phrased that gets people's backs up.

^ ^ this it is how they word things some times tongue in cheek isn't really is it as others have said you won't stand in a group of strangers and declare how skint you are because you can't afford to go away for the weekend or whatever, it is all about context and words you use,

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 10:26:36

No I think there are a number of people so used to saying poor me they refuse to look at anybody else.

At the end of the day it is money in your pocket that counts and as it stands many,many people on some form of benefits will actually have more in their pockets than people who receive nothing,pay higher tax and who look on paper better off ie they have a mortgage etc.

Most people would far rather have money in their pockets and if we all had lower paid jobs,paid less tax,received housing benefits, received CTC,rented instead of paid off a mortgage the outcry would be on it's knees.

Personally I think some people need to realise the grass isn't always greener,remember the saying re walking a mile in my shoes and develop some empathy as unless people think of others and stick together against the few uber wealthy we'll all be shat on.

bluecarrot Wed 23-Jan-13 10:27:40

I don't begrudge people talking about any problems they have regardless of how much they earn. There's almost always someone better off and worse off. People who are homeless could complain that people who have HA houses are boasting.

Surely the point of this board is the opportunity to speak anonymously about things that are important to you. Or have I been mistaken for the last 9 years?!

PolkadotCircus Wed 23-Jan-13 10:27:42

That said I have no sympathy re school fees what so ever.

amillionyears Wed 23-Jan-13 10:28:12

There isnt anything that I personally wouldnt post I dont think.
I tend to take whatever is thrown at me.

But I am seeing a lot of threads that end up being a mini bunfight because people post things, that other people on the opposite end of income, are upset by.

I am not sure that there even is an answer to the question.

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