Would you judge us as parents if your child got a crap birthday present at a party?

(415 Posts)
M0naLisa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:06:12

Me and DH are skint. Our two boys have a party invitation each for Sunday. Only handed out on Monday this week.
6yr old Is going to a day out with birthday boys parents on the morning with other kids in ds class.
4yr old is going to a local scout hut in the afternoon

We are skint. Would you judge us as parents if we gave a box of Maltesers as presents?

It's all we can afford at the moment. I just don't want the parents thinking were cheap skates :-(

I personally wouldn't be happy with malteasers as we have 5 boxes in the fridge. But any small box of chocs etc would be absolutely fine and preferable to more stuff!
Assuming its not me, which its no, malteasers will be fine, howvere another option, 3 or 4 normal sized choc bars tied up with ribbon?

elizaregina Fri 18-Jan-13 10:36:05

wilkinsons as well if it hasnt been mentioned.

cheap paper - pens craft stuff...

The Book People! Get a pack of books and keep it for birthday parties. They retail for £7 or more per book, but you can easily get 10 for £10 sometimes!

DD1 got Maltesers at her birthday party, from people whom I afterwards realised were probably struggling, she loved it!

I'd want a present or to know for definite you hadn't brought one, else I'd be stressing about thank you cards. Nothing better than getting everyone matched up so you can het the letters done!

bedmonster Fri 18-Jan-13 10:37:24

A unanimous yanbu. Of course a box of malteasers is a good present. Lucky children!

Matildaduck Fri 18-Jan-13 10:39:52

We always make our own cards and paper...were not short of money it's nice.

Any gift is welcome, personally felt Tips would be the best gift and you can pick them up in pound shop or pound stretcher.

Consumables are the best, i have enough pastic crap

WynkenBlynkenandNod Fri 18-Jan-13 10:41:14

DD got chocolate from her friend for her birthday present recently and I thought how very kind to make an effort to send something when I know money is tight for friend's family.

DrSeuss Fri 18-Jan-13 10:42:48

My son loves Maltesers and would be delighted. Other options- the ingredients for cookies, layered in a jar, or a promise of a play date with a special thing to happen eg come to my house to play and mum will teach us to bake fairy cakes/ make salt dough models/ cook a pizza.

5madthings Fri 18-Jan-13 10:43:58

No I wouldn't judge at all and my kids would be more than happy with masltesers, tho they may have to fight me to eat them as they are my favorite!

Kiriwawa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:45:10

I would be delighted - we still have unopened crap from the last birthday and that was nearly a year ago! Whereas a box of Maltesers would be long gone

M0naLisa Fri 18-Jan-13 10:46:37

Ahh good.
Ill take your word for it MN lol

ProPerformer Fri 18-Jan-13 10:48:57

I would've thought it lovely that you've bought anything at all.
We're skint too. Last two parties DS went to we took, a matchbox car and to the other a couple of those polystyrene planes and a mini book of stickers. Neither cost over £2 Abd from each party we probably got things of more value in the party bags/game prizes, BUT we spent what we could afford and the gifts seemed appreciated.

stealthsquiggle Fri 18-Jan-13 10:49:55

I would prefer a box of malteasers to a pound shop colouring book (or equiv) - my DC would be delighted with either. YANBU, OP.

mrscog Fri 18-Jan-13 10:51:31

I haven't read the whole thread but I absolutely wouldn't judge - I wouldn't even mind if you didn't bring a present or card.

Anja1Cam Fri 18-Jan-13 10:51:43

YANBU

Personally as a parent I would prefer if it wasn't sweets, but your recipients may have different opinion - but I would not judge you by the monetary 'value' of your gift. A small pack of felt tips etc from the pound shop / supermarket is always welcome (and my kids are 5 and 8)

Its more important to my children that their friends are there and I would hate it if parents were fretting over issues like this and added to the stress that parents already endure in managing family/kids social calendars.

Lots of people are skint and it should not be assumed that everyone has the same present budget when it comes to things like this.

I wouldn't judge.

YANBU.

borednotboring Fri 18-Jan-13 10:52:23

I'd judge if the crap present was just completely unsuitable, like a baby toy for an 8 year old or a set of knives for a toddler. But chocolates is fine, or crafty things from pound shops, there are loads of cheap book shops near us that were doing great children's books for 50p and £1, I love anyone who buys DD a book.

We received lots of homemade cards at DD's party. I'm getting more worried about having to make things to reciprocate them

lastSplash Fri 18-Jan-13 10:53:16

If they are quite well off, even better reason to give them malteasers and not crap poundstretcher tat of equal value or other random stuff - the chocolates will be eaten and appreciated.

Don't miss parties because of cash! The kids and parents would always prefer your DCs company!

fromparistoberlin Fri 18-Jan-13 10:53:59

I would NOt be offended is someone did not bring a gift, esp if theur were skint

my skint friend gave us a fiver and I was so touched

Bobyan Fri 18-Jan-13 10:56:50

You shouldn't care what people think, if that's what you can afford then then good for you for doing what you can.
I'd be mortified if a child missed out on a party because mum and dad were struggling.

Try bookpeople if your looking for gifts in the future, they are very reasonable.

lookingfoxy Fri 18-Jan-13 10:59:25

yanbu, unless they have been living under a rock they must know money issues are affecting a lot of people right now, I wouldn't bat an eyelid.

DD1 would adore a box of Maltesers of her very own, rather than having to pilfer mine. I have never sat down and calculated cost of presents. The only reason we make a note of who brought what is for thank you cards. Otherwise i wouldn't even know if someone didn't bring one.

I've also never written out invitations thinking "invite them, they'll bring a good present" smile

They just want your child to come to the party, that is all.

autumnmum Fri 18-Jan-13 11:01:27

You can never go wrong with food of any description smile My kids would love anybody unconditionally who gave them chocolate. There should be a thread on MN for people to list cheap presents their kids have been given which were loved. I know mine love those moshi monsters charmlings/zip pull things which are £2.99, playmobil and lego mystery packs which are £1.99 and anything with stickers in it. Red House and The Book People often have those Usborne stickers books for around the £2.99 mark.

Idontknowhowtohelpher Fri 18-Jan-13 11:03:59

when dd2 was 7, one of her friends gave her a bunch of daffodils picked from her garden for her birthday present. My daughter was absolutely delighted!

If you want to give a toy type of present, another idea (depending on how old the kids are) is to get one of the little pocket money mystery toy in a bag things: lego minifigures, playmobile figures, the star wars fighter pods, etc, etc (there are about a gazillion types). Most kids love them. They're usually about £2 each in the supermarket, Both my boys love these sort of things (they're 12 and 3).

Or a pack of trading cards would go down well.

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