ZOMBIE THREAD ALERT: This thread hasn't been posted on for a while.
to feel mightly annoyed that everyone forgot my DS 1st birthday(98 Posts)
He only got 6 cards. Only one of my friends remembered and even his uncle forgot. I am a stickler for remembering peoples birthdays and sending cards. One of his gifts was wrapped in christmas paper, surely this is just not on? I feel I may now 'forget' everyone else's birthday this year!!
It's my Birthday today I'm 46
My Birthday got forgotten a lot when I was little probably due to folke not being organised with their new calenders.
My pet hate was the joint Christmas/ Birthday present - I would have had no concept that it cost twice as much.
My sister has it worse hers is on Xmas day along with my mother.
So yanbu and Happy Bithday to your Ds.
I would be upset too. Though I have issues passed on from my mother about the importance of birthdays as hers is 23rd December and she felt very insignificant as a child when people didn't bother.
So don't pass on the issue to your DS and pass on the Birthday Bitterness!
As others say, it's because it's this time of year.
I agree with the definitely keep Christmas and birthday presents separate, and consider that in future years you may want a half-year party ie early June, rather than a half-hearted early January one.
That will avoid the Christmas wrapping and double presents too.
Perhaps have his birthday parties a week or two late?
I don't think it is because of the time of year
I think it depends on how many close family members the OP was expecting cards from, IMO there were possibly some unrealistic expectations about what friends do for friends kids unless they are invited to a party
and school friends forget/loose invites all year round, kids parties are just a nightmare whatever time of year it is and there's always loads of no shows
My Mum used to try and persuade me to have an official birthday in the summer; I always hated the idea. I just wanted people to remember my real birthday and not wish me happy fucking Christmas.
I am completely over it now obv. [twitch]
YANBU in my opinion.. it is one of those irritating things about having a birthday so close to Christmas. I do as well and was having my own pathetic little moan about it today and I am 42! Having said that I do understand how people feel, even I am having a hard time getting enthusiastic about going out for my birthday plus we are all broke! Am seriously considering having a little celebration in the spring or summer instead. Sorry, I'm really not helping here!! You have my sympathy and I hope your little boy had a lovely day.
YABU, he is 1 and won't remember. None of my friends think first birthdays are very special, 21st possibly.
I say this as well as being someone who has a birthday immediately before Christmas, have never minded getting presents in christmas paper. We don't go out to eat as it is always crammed and sometimes joint presents are great (remembers a small chestnut pony one year )
Yes it is the time of year. It is my DM birthday today, I sent her a boquet, it was a good job they did same day delivery.
My birthday was yesterday and I quite enjoyed getting joint presents as I could have double the value! I'm not uptight about Christmas paper as I appreciate that people will use what's to hand. It is nice to get birthday paper though and I always use it for others.
I'm a bit sat on the fence regards BU, it would depend who the 6 people were, whether you had a party or are having one this week. We always take the card & gift to the party. I'd expect DH & grandparents to remember. My bro didn't get me anything for my own birthday so I don't worry if he forgets DDs. I wouldn't necessarily expect friends to remember or send a card though.
YANBU, its your baby's first birthday! I'm not a birthday person, but I do think 1st birthdays are special
The thing is it sounds as if getting birthday cards to other people is important to you (and good on you btw) so then you feel cross when others dont extend the same courtesy to you. So YAB a little U, but very much understandable.
As long as the GPs remembered I wouldn't be concerned . I'm useless at remembering birthdays ,I've known my BIL 23 years and still have to check the date every year , one year I may bother to write it down!
Op I know exactly how you feel. My ds was 1 on NYD.
We're having a little party at the weekend as we have a large family. It's just easier in a hall!
Have heard or had card/present from aunts/uncle but not even heard from mil (nor over Christmas), and dsd has turned up today with not even a card and isn't staying for his party as she's made plans. Before I get lynched for dsd comments, I have an older dd who she always gets card and a present for and whose parties she's always insisted on coming to.
I'm not bothered about presents, but a card or even a text just to show he hasn't been forgotten.
I have to say if anyone gives him Christmas paper, I'll be doing the same for their birthdays
I think YABU about the wrapping paper, my ds1s birthday is 23rd Dec and I can honestly say he doesnt give a hoot what paper its wrapped in, or if its even wrapped , thats just being fussy and pernickety to my mind. As regards the cards, well 6 is quite a good number, but it really depends on who sent them and who forgot? If , as everyone else has said, the people who count ie grandparents etc remembered then thats all that matters. Its a bit PFB to think everyone should remember your childs 1st birthday, once immediate family remember then thats fine. Ds1 loves having a Christmas birthday, he says its because he gets double pressies, (which he does from just family )
As a January baby I will tell you that you simply have to remind people as January birthdays are easily missed.
I think close family should remember birthdays but anyone else is a thoughtful bonus unless you specifically have a birthday party and invite them.
re Christmas wrapping. I have 2 children with December birthdays, not only do they get christmas wrapping but they get joint christmas/birthday presents from some aunts and uncles. They are just happy to get a present (age 5 and 8). I'm not bothered about the wrapping at all but have considered getting nephew and neice birthday presents in Feb and May and saying that they are for christmas as well.
First birthdays are all about the parents, really.
You are being unrealistic to expect your mates - especially if childless - to remember it, unprompted, though it would be nice if family did.
Top tip - if you want people to remember - next year, invite people round.
I would expect only close family to remember. My friends and I don't bother with one another's kids birthdays. I only get cards and presents for a child when there is an actual party.
It's about quality not quantity. Did the important people remember? Dd got about six. That was fine. But I did feel sad that nothing arrived from grandparents - one is dead, two are in Europe and they gave her a present the next time they visited (no card - no tradition of cards in their country), and the fourth 'didn't think he needed to for a one year old'.
As for the time of year, those with birthdays in December/January don't have a monopoly on shittiness. At school I always felt sorry for those with birthdays in May/June because every year for years on end they had exams on their birthday. My birthday is in August, and it was always crappy when I was a kid because everyone was on holiday and I could never get more than two or three guests to come to my birthday parties.
I really struggle to remember the birthdays of my friends' children. I try but I have a lot going on in my life so it doesn't always happen.
Next year I recommend that a week beforehand you post on facebook "I can't believe is going to be one next week. The first year has really flown by!" That should help.
YANBU - at all!
It is a very special time for you, of course your 1 yr old won't remember it, but it is a huge milestone for you and your friends and family should remember it.
We had friends who let us down at the very last minute re DD1's 1st birthday party, left a message when we were out getting food and drink for the party. They never apologies and never got in touch again (think they may have found out through mutual friends that I was really upset).
I've had problems with DH's family in past years about not remembering the children's birthdays - DD2 in particular was really upset - no card of phone call. Ever since then DH has made it clear to his family that at the very least a phone call is expected!
Birthdays aren't a huge deal to everyone and I get that, but if its important to you, your friends and family will kow this and should have celebrated with you.
I would expect grandparents to remember , but thats all really.I think it is very precious and ungrateful to moan at the wrapping paper when someone has been kind enough to buy a present, especially when birthday boy won't know or care.
Personally I don't expect, nor ever did, friends to give my dc cards/presents. For most of my friends if they gave mine each a card, it would probably in the upwards of 20-30+ friend's children they would need to do so.
Godparents usually do, but my friends, not as a general rule, only if they're coming round on that day or something.
Bil has never remembered my ds' birthday. Not once in 5 years. I considered getting him a "dates to remember" book for Christmas, but I doubt it would make any difference.
good point rhubarb, ds2 has his birthday in june and has had an exam on his birthday every day for years - he has an A2 exam this year the day after his 18th so will definitely by deferred pleasure there.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.