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AIBU to be getting myself in such a mess over this (re loss of sentimental items)

(128 Posts)
WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:37:09

2 days ago I lost/misplaced 3 rings, my engagement ring, my wedding ring and a ring passed onto me from my grandma that was made with my mums ashes.
I usually wear all 3 but due to health problems my fingers have been sore so have been taking them off indoors, I haven't been anywhere so they must be here somewhere.
I have pulled the whole place apart, my gran died earlier in the year and gave me the ashes ring, I feel terrible, I can't stop crying, I literally feel like I must be being punished, I am tired of bad stuff happening, I feel sick. Do I need to "get over it" I am going from rationally thinking they can't have disappeared to thinking they must have.
A lot has happened this year, my gran was diagnosed with cancer and had died within 6 weeks then I suffered a miscarriage, I felt like I was coming through the other side after a tough time and a long history of depression, now I feel a mess.

This has probably gone on far too long but even if noone reads it, it felt good to get it down, and thanks to anyone who does manage to read it.

Now back to searching!

MonaLotte Sat 08-Dec-12 15:31:49

I really hope you find them. They must be somewhere in the house :-(

gemdrop84 Sat 08-Dec-12 15:36:23

Yanbu, I'd be just as upset, I misplaced my engagement ring, looked everywhere and it eventually turned out dd had taken it from the sink and put it in her toy kitchen. Fingers crossed they will turn up for you x

quoteunquote Sat 08-Dec-12 15:37:05

A friend recently was having a clear out, she heaped lots of clothes, bags shoes and boots into the middle of the sitting room, as she was bagging it all up to go to the charity shop, she told her daughter off who was trying things on, daughter ignored her and stuck a pair of boots on, took them of and tipped them out,

there was a missing watch (very expensive) and lots of family jewellery, as she had been about to leave on holiday four years ago, she had slipped it into a boot at the back of her wardrobe, to hide it from burglars, and never found it again.

she was so close to losing it forever, naughty DD saved it all. they went through the rest of the items very carefully.

I'm very prone to putting things in "safe' place, go and sit where you were when you took them off, and slowly do the things you can remember doing next, it really helps.

highlandcoo Sat 08-Dec-12 15:38:48

My money's on DS too and I second the idea of offering a reward for whoever finds them. Making it very clear that you'll be so pleased - and not cross - with whoever can solve the mystery.

It's been known for rings and other small items to be posted down between floorboards and under skirting boards by small children. Do you have wooden floors?

Do hope they turn up.

scrablet Sat 08-Dec-12 15:39:45

We had an old fashioned cooker, where you lifted up the metal bit to clean the rings. Dh heard ring come off with a 'ching' and searched the kitchen, moving cooker/fridge/etc.
Yup you guessed it, when we (eventually[embarrassed]) cleaned oven, there it was, nestled happily on cooker top...

scrablet Sat 08-Dec-12 15:40:43

sorry, meant blush, not embarrassed...I'll get my coat...

Cahohohootz Sat 08-Dec-12 15:46:21

There are there somewhere....... <hopeful but realistic grin>

Be slow, thorough and methodical. <I know you already are...>

These are the times I may take rings off
-in the middle of the night.
-gardening
-cooking
-in the bathroom
-at the gym
-Putting on tights/trying on clothes
-doing crafts
-doing DIY

I would check all of my pockets (again) (and again) and all my bags (again) (and again).

Good luck. I lost an expensive necklace once. I knew I had put it somewhere for safekeeping but couldn't remember where. sad I looked and looked and looked. It was in a side pocket in a handbag that I had hung on a hanger in my young DD's cupboard. confused. I literally spent hours looking for it.

Earthymama Sat 08-Dec-12 16:01:17

I am notorious for losing things!!
Stop, empty your mind and try to be still.
If you believe in any higher being or a spirit life ask that Being or, perhaps, your mum to guide you.
You will find the rings when you aren't looking, as someone said ealier, 'Your legs will take you'

Your have my sympathy. I hate, hate , hate it when I do this, I have promised never to put anything in a safe place again!

I lost my Grandmas engagement ring ( that I had inherited )

DD had it in her Pink Princess Plastic Dressing Table .

Keep your chin up , and keep looking .

GreatUncleEddie Sat 08-Dec-12 16:22:49

I never lose things. Ever. I am really methodical. I lost my engagement ring for five days at half term, was pretty sure it was in the house, couldn't find it anywhere. Emptied the Hoover, the bins, the washing machine filter, worried about the engineer who had been in the house. Five days. In the end I found it on the bedroom floor. Keep going!

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Sat 08-Dec-12 16:24:43

I still think DS holds the key to this mystery, I would definitely play a few 'where could I be' games or offer a reward for 'finding' them.

Other than that I would -

- Unwrap the kids presents tonight. Don't just peek in, totally unwrap them, flatten the paper, shake the toys etc

- Check your clothes you have been wearing again - I am shocking for popping things in my pocket absent mindedly.

- Ask DH & DD again - offer them a reward for finding them! I don't suppose there's any chance DD could be 'looking after them' for you? Either to actually keep them safe or if she's grieving as a bit of a security blanket?

- Look in shoes/slippers near your bed - they might have been knocked off.

- Fridge/larder/airing cupboard - you might have put them down to pick something else up.

- Has DS been out of the house since you last had them??

- Check any place they could have been 'posted' into/through.

Whatever you do, even if you go through it, don't put the rubbish/recycling out for collection until you have found them.

wonkylegs Sat 08-Dec-12 16:31:51

Once you find them (you WILL find them) make sure you always wear a necklace & when you need to take them off slip them on the chain & wear them round your neck. I have RA my fingers swell & contract so much that I actually have two wedding rings in different sizes, but this means I often take my eternity & engagement rings off too. This is the only way I haven't lost them.
Yours will be in the house somewhere which can't be as bad a search as my husband had when he lost his..... He took it off to as he was operating (he's an electrocardiologist) and put it in his scrubs pocket and after a long & frustrating procedure he forgot.... Unfortunately when he realised they'd already collected the scrubs and taken them to the laundry at the massive hospital he works at. He had to search through the majority of really vile hospital laundry bins until he found it. He was late home but hadn't dared phone and tell me why as he was worried he'd never find it. It cost a fortune because he has massive hands it was ordered specially, I would probably strangled him a little bit had I known.

MrsLyman Sat 08-Dec-12 16:39:22

I hope you find them OP. Like another poster I've also lost things in plain sight, sometimes the only way to find these things is to stop looking. Hopefully your DH and his fresh eyes will help.

TalkativeJim Sat 08-Dec-12 16:51:36

Oh you poor thing!

You aren't overreacting at all, I'd be distraught.

Can you borrow a metal detector to check sofa/bins etc.?

TalkativeJim Sat 08-Dec-12 16:54:49

What might be wise right now is to prioritise very detailed searches in items that will have to leave the house soon. Coats, bags, schoolbags- RANSACK these things before moving onto places which won't move elsewhere and possibly mean the rings get lost outside. Linings of bags, tangled in hats and scarves etc.

Think that might make you feel more in control.

Ciske Sat 08-Dec-12 16:58:38

I found our housekeys in the toy kitchen this week, after searching for ages for them. When I was out of options I thought in a final moment of desperation: 'if I was DD, where would I have put them' and voila!.... If you have one, check it. smile

Do you have a dressing gown with pockets? I find lots of lost items in there, usually after the dressing gown has been washed.

Oh you poor thing. I'm so sorry.

It's awful when you've lost something. All that searching and thinking you've gone mad. And so much worse when the items have sentimental value.

I always take my rings off when I walk the dogs. I've 'lost' them so many times! I tend to put them in a drawer under the tea towels or in the cupboard above the kettle. Other times I've popped them in the zipped pocket of a handbag or my purse if it's downstairs. Rings are so small too which doesn't help.

I know I'm probably trying to teach grandma to suck eggs here but have you checked every coat pocket and handbag? Where might you have taken them off? At bedtime? When you were about to do some washing up or get in the bath? If you can remember why you took them off and where then you can narrow down the search area.

I really hope you find them. Good luck.

MrsWoodforTrees Sat 08-Dec-12 17:14:42

I agree with seb1 who said Don't Panic.

Also look above eye level. Shelves , on top of books in bookcases , in those funny pots where things get put , all pockets . Do a fingertip room by room search.

With any luck you'll be back with an hilarious anecdote about where you put them ......

Much luck

zeno Sat 08-Dec-12 17:22:20

I found mine in amongst clean sheets in the laundry cupboard once. It had been missing for so long I was wearing a standin that had been made since the loss of the original. Don't give up hope.

Viviennemary Sat 08-Dec-12 17:22:48

I lost a ring and didn't notice it was gone from my finger for a bit as I had lost some weight. I had been out to a couple of places. After a week it still hadn't turned up despite search of whole house. Then I took some washing out the clothes basket and low and behold the ring fell out. I was amazed. Shows how much my basket gets totally emptied. So there is hope yet.

soverylucky Sat 08-Dec-12 17:28:55

I lost a very important brooch. I thought it was on the bench in the kitchen - not there. Looked everywhere, retraced my steps etc. Now I did say a prayer to st anthony and for some reason i felt the urge to look in the cats bed! This was on the other side of the kitchen and there it was - UNDER the cushion of the cat bed. I think it must of been flicked off the bench somehow, ended up on the cat bed and worked its way under the cushion.
YOU WILL FIND THEM! I really sympathise with you.

Lavenderhoney Sat 08-Dec-12 17:30:33

I hope you find them soon. My dd has been known to put things under her pillow. I like the metal dectector idea, and the reward one. I tell dd that a naughty fairy must have taken them and does she know.... Were you baking cakes and took them off, perhaps they are in your dry store cupboard, I put mine there. Can you write down a minute by minute account of your day when you lost them and then chek everywhere you went and everything you did?

I once lost my wedding earrings and found them 2 years later in my jewellery box, which I must have searched a hundred times.

Good luck.

soverylucky Sat 08-Dec-12 17:30:49

Does anyone remember the thread where someone thought the sky man had stolen her ring? She looked everywhere and thought he must have stolen it. Turned up under some drawers or something

or perhaps someone has mentioned this earlier in the thread. must remember to read thread before posting.

Sovery - I half remember. Similar thread where a MN thought that a plumber (I think. It may have been Sky) had taken her ring. She reported him and then she found it?

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