What to do about neurotic YR 5/6 teachers?

(194 Posts)
AnnaLiza Wed 05-Dec-12 20:47:49

I'm not saying that my DSs are saints but the teachers of previous years have never complained about their behaviour at school! Since the beginning of this academic year, though, the two female teachers for Yrs 5 and 6 are telling them off and making them cry at least once a week! For example:
DS1 (yr 6) got badly told off for bouncing a ball while he was walking to the assembly line and the ball was confiscated for two days.
DS2 (yr 5) got into serious trouble for flicking a pencil during a lesson.
DS1 got shouted at for talking during a lesson and for daring to say that other people were talking too.
Also they tell me that one of these two teachers refers to some other children as "idiots" and the other one is shouting half of the time and almost always at boys only.
AIBU or this is totally unacceptable?

SmallSchoolPrimaryTeacher Sun 09-Dec-12 13:19:01

Whenever I am faced with an over-protective parent, I always say, "You believe everything your child says about school, and I'll believe everything your child says about home. Or alternatively, we could siphon out the things which are really important and deal with them."

PessaryPam Sun 09-Dec-12 13:49:16

AnnaLiza At Pessary Towers our children would have received a massive bollocking from us too if they had behaved as your kids have.

They were being naughty, they got into trouble. Basically if they can't do the time they should not do the crime.

Back up the poor teachers who have to deal with increasingly brattish behaviour from kids these days.

PessaryPam Sun 09-Dec-12 13:55:45

ppeatfruit
"My teenagers were not horrific and I respected their right to their own feelings."

Well ppeat I adopted the more mature attitude with my children and they are now doing well at university and will hopefully have productive, well remunerated and happy lives.

They are not automatons either but they respect others and are kind and loving.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 09-Dec-12 14:16:12

'You believe everything your child says about school, and I'll believe everything your child says about home.'

grin And then I'll write a book about it when I retire.

ppeatfruit Sun 09-Dec-12 14:30:18

That's interesting PessaryPam Why is it immature to respect your DCs' feelings? I wonder if your parents respected yours and how did you feel if they didn't?

Floggingmolly Sun 09-Dec-12 14:40:22

You're being just a little disengenuous now, ppeatfruit.
There's a big difference between respecting their feelings and insisting on their right to express themselves anywhere, anytime, irregardless of how detrimental it may be to those around them.
You're a teacher, you say... Please God my kids never have one like you.

DeWe Sun 09-Dec-12 14:52:09

I'm really encouraged to see that someone believes that the teachers should make all lessons interesting to stop any behaviour problems.
I shall go in tomorrow and tell ds's teacher to stop his sticker chart. Instead I expect her to make all lessons interesting to him. If he misbehaves it's entirely her fault for not making it interesting. I hope the rest of the class is interested in WWII aircraft... hmm

ppeatfruit Sun 09-Dec-12 15:16:08

I did not say that DCs have a right to express themselves any old how (none of us do) though of course some of the EYs DCs are just not ready developmentally for the strict classroom environment. I know it's a bit better now.

I just get the impression that there are lot of parents on here who really DO think that DCs are inferior beings and that's sad.

FWIW schools used to ask for me to do supply for them so I can't have been that bad.

Feenie Sun 09-Dec-12 15:17:25

Used to? So you are no longer a primary school teacher then?

clam Sun 09-Dec-12 15:18:33

We are in danger of creating a generation of people whose expectation is that they can just sit back in their seats and drawl, "come on, entertain me, and I might deign to listen and learn if you amuse me." Ofsted will back them up.

Any future employer, however, might not! Some of them are in for a very rude shock.

ppeatfruit Sun 09-Dec-12 16:00:01

no Feenie we've moved to Fr. 50% of the time and I've retired.

Do you remember the teachers and subjects you liked and did well in?clam I bet it was because they held yr. interest. There's nothing new in that FGS.

I remember being a "good" girl but in some classes I just turned off how are you going to "MAKE" DCs listen? thought police?

PessaryPam Sun 09-Dec-12 16:05:08

ppeatfruit

That's interesting PessaryPam Why is it immature to respect your DCs' feelings? I wonder if your parents respected yours and how did you feel if they didn't?

We always respected their feelings, but as responsible adults we took decisions that were for their own good, even if it made us unpopular at the time.

I had nothing but love and respect for my parents and I miss them a lot now they are both dead. They did their best for me, even when I was being a pain as a teenager.

So does that answer your condescending psychobabble questions?

ppeatfruit Sun 09-Dec-12 16:16:35

I don't didn't care about being unpopular with our DCs but I acknowledged they felt differently from me at times. That's all we all need IMO.

My parents thought they knew best too it turned out they didn't. So I had to stay on at college and do more O's and A levels. Just being responsible doesn't mean you know every thing. Though you obviously do.

soontobeyummy Sun 09-Dec-12 16:41:19

Not read all the replies (long thread!) I have a child in year 5. If he'd come home crying he'd been told off for bouncing a ball on the way to assembly, flicking a pencil in class, or talking in class, then I'd be telling him it's his own daft fault for doing it in the first place.
Not blaming the teachers for trying to keep control a little bit. YABU.

PessaryPam Sun 09-Dec-12 18:33:18

Ha ha, hit a nerve there. Do you always project your problems onto others like this?

voddiekeepsmesane Sun 09-Dec-12 19:00:06

If life was a matter of being and saying exactly as you please then I would agree with you ppeat, but it isn't. No matter how you bring up your children they have to be able to work in the real world and sometimes (especially when young) it means that authoritative attitudes HAVE to be tolerated, life is not as black and white as you make out and we need to make sure our children hold the necessary skills for LIFE. IMO that is where a lot of parents fail, hence the "entitled" society we have today.

ppeatfruit Mon 10-Dec-12 08:12:10

Let me quote you a poem given by the LEA to all of the attendees at a conference for teachers;- The conference was entitled;

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

A People Place

If this is not a place where tears are understood,
Where do I go to cry?
if this is not a place where my spirits can take wing
Where do I go to fly?
If this is not a place where my questions can be asked,
Where do I go to seek?
If this is not a place where my feelings can be heard,
Where do I go to speak?
If this is not a place where you'll accept me as I am,
Where can I go to be?
If this is not a place where I can try to learn and grow,
Where can I be just me?

By William J Crocker

Have a Good christmas Everyone

PessaryPam Mon 10-Dec-12 08:27:04

Bless.

cory Mon 10-Dec-12 10:04:03

ppeatfruit Sun 09-Dec-12 16:00:01

"Do you remember the teachers and subjects you liked and did well in?clam I bet it was because they held yr. interest. There's nothing new in that FGS.

I remember being a "good" girl but in some classes I just turned off how are you going to "MAKE" DCs listen? thought police? "

So what do you do about the child who does find the lesson interesting and is anxious to learn more but can't actually hear what the teacher is saying half the time because of disruptive behaviour from another child? Are you saying the feelings of the attentive and interested child somehow matter less than of the uninterested child? How can you respect the interested child's feelings except by giving him a chance to hear and concentrate?

My nephew's class contained 20 odd children of the first kind and 3 or 4 of the second. Of course, the fact that the teacher was able to make the lesson interesting to the 20 odd wasn't much help- when the 3 or 4 were present, there was too much disruption for them to concentrate. So did those 20 odd children matter less than the 3 or 4?

I am sorry to say that ds (Yr 8) is one of those low level disruptive children and we are working hard with the school to overcome it. He is now on report so I can see exactly what lessons he plays up in. The strange thing is that there are some teachers he has always spoken highly of, he likes them, he thinks they teach well- but he doesn't work or concentrate for them either. So in his case, your theory doesn't hold.

And fwiw ds' school has great pastoral care and would be supportive of any worries of his. He has been tested for dyslexia and obviously has no difficulties in understanding. They would be happy to answer any questions of his or support him with any work he didn't understand. But he doesn't want to ask for help, because that would involve having to make the effort of listening, and he prefers being the class clown. I don't think that's fair on the other pupils.

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