Mumsnet Talk

Last Wednesday my DD (aged 13) had a dr appointment. She had to take her top off for the dr, and the dr said "you're a big girl aren't you?"

My DD is a size 10 so she's not overweight. She is also around 5ft 5, so hardly tall/big.

I can only really assume that she was referring to her chest. She is definitely bigger than most girls her age and it does make her self conscious. Surely that would be a rather inappropriate comment for a dr to make?

YANBU - but you haven't said how your DD took it. Was she offended?

it doesn't matter how dd took it...that was highly inappropriate

I'd complain, that's totally inappropriate!

That could give her a complex. What a stupid thing for a doctor to say.

you should complain about that.

Inappropriate and worth having a word with the practice manager IMO.

Sorry - bit of a hasty post. What I meant is - yes it was inappropriate, but I think I'd be taking the DD's reaction into account in deciding how to handle it. If she was just a bit then maybe raise it verbally, but if it really bothered her then I don't think it would be unreasonable to raise it formally.

By asking the question you have already shown your doubt to the comment.

You should have a word

Even if the DD wasn't too bothered, I'd raise it formally for the sake of other patients

It doesn't matter whether or not she was bothered, the doctor was inappropriate and shouldn't be saying things like that to anybody

What if it was a boy and the doctor mentioned that he had a big willy and the boy was chuffed about it, still inappropriate regardless of how the recipient felt

I was seriously sexually assaulted by a paediatrician when I was about same age. Some doctors are perverts. The doctor needs to be spoken to about that.

Wow, extremely inappropriate!

Please tell me your daughter had a chaperone in the room with her. Were you there?

I'm a nurse and there is no way I'd ever comment on anybody's bits and pieces or their size or anything like that. It's horrible. A patient is in a vulnerable position and should never be subjected to personal comments, esp. about their private areas.

The doctor was a woman, so I don't know if that makes a difference?

I think DD was quite upset by the comment, not to the point of crying but she will dwell on any comments made to her.

She thinks she might have been implying that she was fat. I've told her thats ridiculous and she has a lovely figure. But it almost feels like it doesn't matter what I say as the seed has already been planted.

That's really shocking

Very inappropriate of him.

Where you with her?

Inappropriate, not to mention creepy and inexplicable. I'd probably make an appointment with the doctor again (just you and him/her) to discuss it in the first instance, and express your concerns.

I see it's a her. No, that doesn't really make any difference - still inappropriate.

Sorry, just seen it's a female doctor, although still equally as inappropriate.

What the hell was she expecting a young teen girl to respond to that?

a female doctor ? Still inappropriate and should know better

Still inappropriate regardless of the sex of the doctor. She must be a right stupid cow to come out with something so personal about a young patient.

At best - stupid and thoughtless
At worst - weird and creepy

You still need to complain.

Even if she was commenting on her size rather than her chest, it was still inappropriate. If the doctor seriously wanted to raise an issue about her weight " You're a big girl aren't you?" is not the way to broach the subject.

Completely inappropriate, female dr or not. I would certainly have a word with the practice manager. There's no way that she should have said that, especially to a teenage girl.