to use a disabled toilet if I've got the buggy?

(801 Posts)

Pretty much as the thread title says, if you're out in public & need to loo but can't fit the buggy into a normal cubicle is it acceptable to take the buggy into the disabled toilet? I'd never use a disabled parking space but did this today in desperation. So, is it ok or still a no-no?

DS is only 9 weeks old, as others have said how am I supposed to pee etc with a baby in my arms. I have gone when DS1 was tiny in a sling but DS2 hates the sling with a passion so I don't use it. I think carrying a sling about just in case I need to use the loo is a bit much, along with all the other baby paraphernalia.

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:04

Buggerama, I'm sure Welsh has thought of that, though I can see you don't mean anything by it but some people/children are not able to say when they need to go well in advance, it all depends on their individual disability I think.

pigletmania Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:15

Yes easy said than done welsh. Mabey te government hold in vest more in family loos. Just because you do it does not mean everybody else can. It's not like I do this on a regular basis

Dawndonna Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:17

Buggerama My dd has no warning, when she needs to go, she needs to go. So, in some cases getting a person there a few minutes before is not an option.

piglet I went out yesterday and forgot to put my sign on, the one that says: "I know I look normal but I'm liable to shit myself". I've lost it now, perhaps you could make me a new one.

5madthings Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:42

when mine were smaller i often had them in a sling or a sling with me so i would just strap them on and go to the toilet, slightly more awkward pulling up jeans but perfectly fine to do.

Katiepoes Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:43

Hahha at the idea of parent cubicles. That can then be a new source of AIBU along with the P& C parking spaces.

The restricted access loos in Holland are 99% of the time also where the changing table is. So I use them when with my toddler if needed and will continue to do so until we're buggy free. (Oh happy day!)

I once watched a cheeky witch sail past me in Dublin airport into a baby changing cubicle - clearly marked - airily telling her friend that these were 'great for fixing makeup in with all that space' - THAT is a selfish person, not a parent with a buggy and shopping and a toddler with Usain Bolt like sprinting abilities.

pigletmania Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:52

Meant invest

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 12:51:55

Oh x posts (once again gets involved in someone else's argument!)

sorry

NUFC69 Fri 23-Nov-12 12:52:29

I am disabled and (fairly) elderly; it wouldn't occur to me to get upset with a mum with a buggy who was using a disabled toilet - totally different scenario to using a disabled parking bay. (Tbh I am one of those chatty oldies who probably get on some young mums' nerves because I'll chat to them and their little ones).

christmasiscominghellokitty Fri 23-Nov-12 12:53:10

i do

Jins Fri 23-Nov-12 12:53:19

I saw a new (to me) sign in a campsite shower block.

'This general access cubicle has been modified to assist the disabled'

It caused so much confusion you wouldn't believe it possible. I used it because it was general access and it had a shower head you could take off and the others were fixed but I got a good stare from the people in the queue when I came out.

Personally I wouldn't use a disabled toilet though. You can hang on for a shower but you can't hang on for the loo

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 12:53:25

WelshMaenad I appreciate what you're saying but what's the difference between getting to the toilet and finding a mother and baby in there, or getting to the toilet and finding a disabled person in there?

As long as the mother allows her to go first, I think that's the main thing.

But finding someone already using the loo when you're desperate to go, isn't something anyone can avoid IYSWIM?

Scoobyblue Fri 23-Nov-12 12:55:34

I think that it is fine.

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 12:56:31

Btw - while people are on this subject - might I hijack slightly to ask about something related? Hypothetically, I think.

I won't do it, honestly, it's just something I can't imagine doing - but I'm in a lot of pain with SPD today, already walked to town for dentist earlier, and have an appt for vaccine at the surgery this pm.

I don't think I can walk it. but what do I do if there's no parking spaces? It's only a tiny car park. No one else can take me and drop me there and I'll have to go to get the children an hour later anyway.

What if there is a disabled space left? Would you feel uncomfortable with someone like me using it?

I'm not going to - if I have to be late, I'll be late and park somewhere a few streets away and hobble! I can do it though it'll blooming hurt and I can only walk very slowly. But it does make me wonder how 'ok' this would be.

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons Fri 23-Nov-12 12:57:05

But what is they've forgotten their sign, Worra? How would the mother know the person was disabled or not, in order to allow her to go first??

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 12:57:42

Worra, the difference is she would know the un-disabled person didn't need to be in there in the first place and the disabled person probably did.

RooneyMara Fri 23-Nov-12 12:58:16

Well, if she knew they were/weren't disabled, that is, which yes obvs you can't always know.

Spottyblancmange Fri 23-Nov-12 12:59:40

But Afternoonsand then you can equally say how would Welsh necessarily know the mother coming out with the baby wasn't disabled? To use an example from upthread, she said IBS was an acceptable reason to use it... what if the babies mother had IBS and had forgotten her sign?

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 13:00:52

But that's the thing Rooney the mother would need to be in there if for example she had a tiny baby in a pram and a toddler.

How could she use a normal cubicle and cram herself in with all her bags, her toddler and manage to have a wee/change a tampon whilst holding the baby?

Perhaps she needs a sign to say "Mother on a period with baby and toddler"? wink

WorraLiberty Fri 23-Nov-12 13:02:51

Exactly Spotty and the person who said they were likely to 'shit themselves' if they don't get in the loo quickly...what if the Mother with the buggy was just about to flood blood all down her legs?

AfternoonsandCoffeespoons Fri 23-Nov-12 13:08:02

She wouldn't know spotty, thatsb exactly my point. My DS looks just an average 8 year old. He needs to use the disabled toilet, because he is disabled. You woudn't know that, though, unless he had a sign around his neck. My post was to all the people saying that obviouslyy they'd let a disabled person go first - not all disabiltilies are that obvious.

Disabled people campaigned for a bloody long time to get disabled toilets. Maybe "Mothers on a period with baby and toddler* should do the same.

amck5700 Fri 23-Nov-12 13:14:10

A disabled toilet is a toilet that is equiped for disabled people to use. It is not for the sole use of the disabled. Just as a disabled person could use a non-disabled toilet if they are able to.

Having said that, i would not particularly use one if there were other vacant toliets available. If there weren't then I would use (and have used) it regardless of whether I had a child in a buggy or not.

I have also taken my child into the gents if they have been desperate and there is a queue in the ladies.

WelshMaenad Fri 23-Nov-12 13:14:29

Of course I wouldn't know, that's exactly why I would NEVER challenge anyone under those circumstances. It would just be nice if people used some more consideration. If out with my baby without DD I have managed never to use a disabled loo for myself, because if people made an effort to leave the disabled facilities for disabled people, there's a far smaller likelihood of someone ending up embarrassed, having had an accident waiting for the toilet to be free. Does that make sense?

I think less of able bodied mothers who abuse disabled facilities for their own ease. Choosing to have a baby is not a disability. Maybe I see it that way because I've been in the other side of the equation.

MsElleTow Fri 23-Nov-12 13:19:18

It's not fine.

Able bodied people with buggies coped in 'normal' toilets before disabled people campaigned for larger, accessible ones for the disabled. If the 'normal' toilets are too small, campaign for famliy toilets!

But again surely someone with IBS could use a normal cubicle? It might be unpleasant/embarrassing but not impossible, yet someone up thread said that was an acceptable reason to use a disabled loo?

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