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to let my five year old still sleep in my bed, or are the 'eyebrow raisers' BU?

(214 Posts)

There are just the two of us in our house, my daughter is five and loves sleeping in my bed.

She went through a stage where she went to sleep in my bed and stayed there all night. I've managed to get her to go to sleep in her bed, but by about 1am she's sneaked into my bed. Sometimes I notice, sometimes I just wake in the morning and she's there!

To be honest, I quite like it, were very close and rarely spend time away from each other apart from work and school. I have a king size bed so no space issues and she doesn't wriggle and sleeps all night.

BUT people who find this out raise their eyebrows and say its not normal?

My mum is very vocal about it, thinks it wrong, she'll get used to it, she's not a baby blah blah blah. I'm single, no boyfriends so that's not a problem, so who is being unreasonable, me, her or the 'eyebrow raisers'.

And if I need to get her out of the habit, how on earth do I do it. Its just easy to let her get in when its 1am, cold and I'm cosy and warm! wink

My ds (nearly 10) still comes into my bed sometimes. He got in last week to say good night and fell asleep smile

Camhs dissaproved though, and told ds that he wasn't allowed to sleep with me ever again hmm

I think that as a now and again thing, it's fine.

flow4 Sun 25-Nov-12 21:04:40

Hmmmm... hmm Wasn't 'allowed'? What happened to CAMHS' clearly stated commitment to being non-judgemental?!

Haberdashery Sun 25-Nov-12 21:25:45

Ah, so nice to hear tales of grown up children who are still close to their mothers. I hope so much that my DD and me will be as close. I'm not at all close to my mother who was difficult to deal with for a child so I really hope that things are different in my life (because sometimes I really miss having a proper mother).

discophile Sun 25-Nov-12 21:39:10

This is my favourite thread ever... Very reassuring to know it's not only me that is happy with, er, extended cosleeping. My son is nearly 9 and very often sneaks in to my bed in the middle of the night. It's lovely. Particularly in winter.

bluebump Sun 25-Nov-12 21:50:51

I co sleep with my 4 year old DS but its just the two of us these days. He has asked for a new bed with a den underneath so whether this is the start of the end of him being in my bed remains to be seen. I'll enjoy it while it lasts regardless of the negative comments I receive.

That's what I thought flow. I also raised an eyebrow when ds called me mummy at one session and it was quickly noted down.

EasilyBored Sun 25-Nov-12 22:46:16

I really want to like co-sleeping, and if DS wakes in the night and will not go back down, then I do take him to the spare room so I can trap him between me and the wall and he can't escape. But he just doesn't sleep well with others. I secretly hoping that once he gets a bit older, he will want to sleep with us sometimes.

BelleDameSousMistletoe Sun 25-Nov-12 22:50:17

5 year old DD currently slumped all over me in bed. As usual. I've stopped worrying about it!

gimmecakeandcandy Sun 25-Nov-12 23:16:21

It is heartening to read so many positive replies grin
My ds (4) gets into my bed and my dd (3) has a double bed which she has just moved to but she comes to get me to go to her bed! It's lovely and nowt wrong with it.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 25-Nov-12 23:24:46

My 8 yr old DS loves sleeping in our (well, my) bed and had done so for months until very recently. DH is stuck in the spare room because of his snoring. DS is back in his own bed again, but I have no qualms at all about his sleeping in my (er.. our) bed.

Dancergirl Sun 25-Nov-12 23:29:11

You're lucky! I wish my 5 year old came into my bed. Enjoy it while it lasts, she won't want to sleep there forever. You'll look back when she's a teenager and wondered what you worried about!

YouCanBe Mon 26-Nov-12 09:53:59

DD usually comes into our room between one and three and I either go sleep in her bed for a few hours with her then head back to my own bed, or she gets into our bed with DH and I go to sleep in her bed alone for the rest of the night.

I don't mind at all, DH and I have our time in bed together at the start of the night and/or in the mornings.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney Mon 26-Nov-12 14:03:31

Posted a few pages back and am so glad to see that The Secret Society of Co-Sleepers is doing well!!

ophelia wonder where the sleep "counsellors" got their ideas from, certainly not 80% of the world where co sleeping is the norm, and def not from us on this thread. What a load of pants. I am certain that Ds and I both sleep better together, he feels safe and cosy and loved, and I don't have to do that one ear open all night mother thing, cos he's right there next to me.

I thnk it's part of a very westernised culture to force "independence" on children early, and part of the luxury of having bigger houses so kids have their own room, which on a global scale is pretty unusual really.

Anyway whenever Ds wants to cuddle up, he's welcome.

My 10 yo DS loves to come in bed with DH and me - he sleeps far better in bed with us and drops off a lot quicker.

I know loads of the raised eye brow gang but to be honest I am past caring. It works.....for us........

We all parent differently, there is no right or wrong. I cherish these times with my DS, and dont kid myself that when he is a teenager he will want to co-sleep and we wont want him to anyway.

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