Mumsnet Talk

When I first started seeing my now DH, he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it! I've also been given a size 10 bikini (when I was a size 16), by a Great Aunt and a hose reel by my MIL. What strange things have you been given?

Dh bought me a bike.
Ffs. I just looked at it thinking 'what the fuck am I supposed to say? Has he not met me?'

The black silk pants and petticoat set I gave my sister 3 years before!

All things ornamental. I hate clutter

A box set of vodka's when I am teatotal by dh's SIL who knew I was teatotal.

The bag of toilet rolls, washing up liquid and kitchen scrubbing pads I get every year, without fail from my mother for Christmas.

Or the toaster that XMIL gave me one year, so that I could make her son toast in the morning (ours had broken)

I don't eat toast!

My ex bought me a day at one of those "Spa" places one Christmas. Yes I know lots of people would love it but honestly if you knew me...

It was quite funny to see the look on everyone's face when I told them what he'd got me. Every one of them had "OMG why has he got you that?" written all over it

Who was the MNer who's MIL bought her knicker elastic for Christmas?? That'll take some beating

Hair removing cream from my brother!

Broken Glass! Is the most memorable...

A size 18 top from my ExMIL. I wasn't near a size 18. Luckily I divorced her son so that stopped that.

When I was about 11 and a skinny little thing, barely a size 10, my aunt bought me the most horrible nightgown that was a size 20 and made out of some slippy blue nylon with black lace trimmings.

Oh and then there was the limited edition print of the Red Arrows taking off on a misty morning that we got for a wedding present.

A hand towel and a flannel from my (very rich) SIL. I gave her Channel.

A hand towel and a flannel from my (very rich) SIL. I gave her Channel.

A can opener & his firms (free) diary from DH. Utterly charmed.

1 snake skin g string from MIL.

As my therapist will tell you... way back in the seventies when 'Grease' was the film and every self-respecting kid wanted that album with Travolta on the cover... I was given for my birthday a rip-off album of 'Grease by other artists!!!' and I had to say thank you politely. Still painful.

My MIL got me a matching pair of plastic alsation dog ornaments to sit on our mantlepiece. She clearly hadn't looked at them properly as each dog was definately male as they had oversized comody penises that were sticking out of each one.

To be frank, even if there were no penises, it would have ranked as my worse present ever. Horrible things.

Funniest present ever was from my mad aunt who wrapped up a Christmas wrapping paper set. I don't know how I didn't wet myself laughing when I opened it. Who on earth wraps up wrapping paper as a present!?

Rose scented talcum powder. Bad enough in itself but I couldn't use it even if I wanted to as it would exacerbate my eczema (which as it was bought by my parents, you'd think they would know).

Also a top (also from my parents - they have form for dreadful presents). I didn't like it but that wasn't the awful bit. They'd bought it abroad so they weren't sure of the right size (at least this was their excuse) to buy, but it was so huge that it still swamped me even when 9 months pregnant!

A pair of roller blades from MiL - I still have no idea what possessed her

I also got a spa day from DH - nice for some people I know but I loathe massages and facials and stuff like that

A drinking game (I was 7 months pregnant) and a white beret with fake pearls stitched on, a huge pair of pants (in both size and style) and one of those novelty metal bottle of wine holders in the shape of a butler, you know the ones that would slice your skin off if you brushed past it the wrong way. T

My fiance (now ex) bought me a magazine rack, not even a nice one, a self build, Argos flat pack wooden piece of crap.

I'm laughing at most of these, but sooo jealous of the SPA days! (I'm getting one this year!)

Oh, and this utterly hideous fertility symbol ornament thing from MiL as a wedding present. I tried to break it for years but it was indestructable, the thing survived DD1's toddler years, 3 house moves and me 'accidentally' knocking it over on a daily basis. I finally consigned it to the loft when we moved 200 miles away (which reminds me, I must hunt it out again, she's coming to visit soon)

And I mustn't forget the bows and ribbon mother gave me this year to wrap up other people's presents.

She gave me that along with dire warnings that I must not, in any circumstances wrap her gifts up in it as that would be an insult to her

My now deceased MIL once got me a single pair of rather lacy white knickers. I found that rather inappropriate, TBH. I think she had years of built-up frustration at buying presents for her three sons and was desperate to be able to buy things for anyone female (at the time neither of DH's brothers had partners).

When I was a child the presents from my fundamentalist Christian aunt and uncle were ALWAYS related to Christianity, whether it was a book or a toy or whatever. Reading that awful drivel was most effective at ensuring I would become a passionate atheist for the rest of my life.

"he asked what I wanted for my birthday. I answered "nothing" and I got it!"
Afraid I did that once to DH as well. He kept on getting snarky when I asked him what birthday present he'd like and then just snapped 'I wish you'd forget the whole thing, I hate my birthday, growl growl'. So I did. He genuinely didn't believe it that I hadn't even got him a card. It worked though - now when I ask him what he wants he manages to think of something after about two months of deliberation.