To think I can't do this today...

(66 Posts)

Barely had any sleep last night as both sons kept waking up. DS1 is 2.9, DS2 is 7 weeks. DS1 was supposed to go to nursery today but has been so unsettled I think is best keep him home. My mum has been over since DS2's birth but went home yesterday so am missing the support.

So AIBU to want to beg my husband to stay home today & help out as I really feel like I can't do it myself?

addictedisback Fri 09-Nov-12 08:07:58

I'm also going to be a tough voice and say you have to cope on your own at some point.
Yes its scary and yes its hard, but you need to do it. Take ds to nursery, that will make things a whole lot easier then you can sleep when the baby does.
I have a 15 month age gap between my dc so I know how hard it can be, but you need to get back to normality soon otherwise it will just get more and more scary and it will be a huge deal.

addictedisback Fri 09-Nov-12 08:09:42

grumpla I love that post, its so true especially about the toast for three meals a day blush

Violet77 Fri 09-Nov-12 08:09:59

Grumpla, its a good post! I look at photos of my second child and wonder why he's always grubby.....that's why :-)

OTTMummA Fri 09-Nov-12 08:11:31

Yes, organisation is key! At the weekend I cut veggies up, peppers, cucumber, carrots and keep them in a box so if DD is having a bad day and I can't put her down got long I can snack on those with dome hummus/salsa. Also, if you can I would cook 2-3 meals at the weekend, or double up a recipe like spaghetti Bol, cottage pie, casserole, stew etc and freeze so on at least 2-3 days in the week you don't have to cook a whole meal from scratch

LittleBearPad Fri 09-Nov-12 08:11:36

You can do it. You may be just as tired on Monday morning (sorry) so achieving today will make you feel you can do it on Monday and then Tuesday etc. Good luck

crunchernumber Fri 09-Nov-12 08:16:13

Oh and tell DH he is in charge of dinner.

Be it cooking, ready meal or takeaway.

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 09-Nov-12 08:16:21

Grumpla is so right!

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 09-Nov-12 08:20:15

You will be able to manage today, and you will feel much better for doing so.

Anyway, it's Friday, so your dh will be around tomorrow and Sunday.

I used to think a good day when they were little was a day in which the kids and I were fed, and there was no more washing at the end of the day than there was at the beginning.

Just mark time, survive, and it will get better soon.

ChippingInLovesAutumn Fri 09-Nov-12 08:21:50

HelsBels - How long are you having off on maternity leave? If it's a year, why not see if there's a local nursery that can take DS? It's a bit of a grind having to take him 14 miles isn't it?

What's he like? Does he amuse himself around the house quite well, or would he be a demanding energetic whirl of toddler? That would determine whether I took him today or not grin But you can't ask DH to stay home, no, save that for when one of you is ill.

DigestivesWithCheese Fri 09-Nov-12 08:22:12

Grumpla - I love "Everyone is fed, nobody is dead" grin I am actually going to write that out in big letters and stick it up on the wall once my twins arrive. Then when DH gets home from work and I've had a difficult day, I can just point at it instead of explaining why the place is such a tip!

QuickLookBusy Fri 09-Nov-12 08:23:21

I think I will be a lone voice here, but I think telling someone who barely slept, to drive 14 miles with 2 small dc, is ridiculous.

Do have a shower and breakfast and see how you feel, but of you still feel absolutely rubbish, do not get in the car with your DC and drive 14 miles.

Have a quiet weekend, get as much rest as possible and get organised for Monday morning. You'll feel fully prepared and ready for it all then.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 09-Nov-12 08:24:29

Oh, I agree Quick.

I don't think you should drive either.

This is where tv/dvd's come into their own.

Grumpla Fri 09-Nov-12 08:24:44

Ha! If I had the time to cross-stitch I could do a nice line in inspiring samplers grin

QuickLookBusy Fri 09-Nov-12 08:34:42

I'm glad I'm not the only one Maryz.

Op you said DS isn't himself, after his trip to A and E. I bet he'd much rather be at home than at nursery. You're not staying home for you, you're doing it for your DSwink

Gentleness Fri 09-Nov-12 08:37:47

I often feel like a quiet day in will really help us all feel better. Then when the 3.1yo and 1.5yo start fighting over Lego and are too wound up to nap, I remember that it is much easier to get out for even just a bit and tire them out so I can have a proper rest in the afternoon. And it's too late by then and we all feel so much worse...

2monkeybums Fri 09-Nov-12 08:41:24

Do it today instead of worrying about it until Monday. You will feel very pleased with yourself and much more confident when its all over this evening.

DH has gone to work without me sobbing or begging him to stay which is a start. DS1 is very tired & grumpy & has a cold so we may stay home, not decided yet.

MaryZezItsOnlyJustNovember Fri 09-Nov-12 08:46:47

Good for you.

Stay home, pretend it's snowing. I hope you have chocolate smile

And you can go for a walk after lunch, just to get out for an hour if you really need to.

Just try not to clock watch [voice of bitter experience]. Clocks go slower if you watch them too closely.

3littlefrogs Fri 09-Nov-12 08:49:42

Your ds has had a head injury and probably now has a headache. No wonder he is unsettled.

I would suggest a duvet day for everyone. Honestly - he can't tell you how he is feeling, but I remember having a bad fall and a split forehead when I was about 6, and feeling really ill and headachey for days afterwards. The fact that i remember it clearly, 50 years on, is significant I think.

I definitely wouldn't drive 14 miles with 2 small children after no sleep. Did anyone see that programme about unsafe drivers this week?

Grumpla Fri 09-Nov-12 08:54:40

Getting out for a walk is always a good plan but see it as a bonus rather than something you have to do! For the longer term, an all-in-one waterproof for the toddler makes trips to the garden / park much less stressful as can just put on over clothes and unpeel at front door and leave until DP comes home. Much less stressful than having to change completely / out of muddy clothes etc.

I assumed you had already ruled out the drive to nursery when I posted, definitely agree that if you are absolutely exhausted then 15 miles in a car with two children is NOT a terribly safe idea.

Do please remember to keep yourself fed & watered! It's sooo easy in those early weeks of juggling to suddenly get to absolute meltdown and realise you haven't eaten, drunk anything or weed for about six hours. NOT GOOD smile

Fakebook Fri 09-Nov-12 08:58:45

YABU. Chances are 2 year old will conk out when he gets tired during the day. Leave your pyjamas on and put them both in your bed and have a siesta. Or camp out on the sofa with a dvd and Chocolate biscuits. That's what I'd do.

addictedisback Fri 09-Nov-12 08:59:33

sorry missed the 15 mile drive, not such a good idea on no sleep.

But well done on letting dh leave the house with out begging him to stay!

now make the living room safe, close the door, put on a dvd and doze on the sofa with baby. Then think about going for a walk if every one is happy and awake (noting worse than taking grupmy toddler and grumpy baby on a walk with a grumpy mummy. it would be better all round to just put on another dvd!)

JugglingWithPossibilities Fri 09-Nov-12 09:03:52

Well done on being brave and waving off DH for your first day with two on your own (for a few hours anyway)

Now time for a decision about DS1 and Nursery. What will be easier for you and make a better day for all three of you ? I don't think 14 miles is a really long drive so unless you feel completely wrecked it could be worth the initial effort of bundling everyone in the car to have a day just with DS2 ?
Or duvet, sofa, and DVD day sounds good - with chocolate !
I think regarding DS1's bump he's had a good 24 hours plus at home and been reasonably OK so Nursery should be able to look after him fine if that's what you go for.
HTH
Have a good day - We all remember it well and will be thinking of you.
Keep us posted - We'll be here for some company brew

I'm not going to do the drive, it's 14 miles each way & I'm just shattered. I have thought about finding a nursery closer to home but he's really happy & settled where he is & I don't want to totally throw his routine when a new baby had arrived.

The in laws are just up the road & DH is going to see if they can help out today, but part of me is determined to be stubborn & do it myself. I never doubted I could do it on my own really, I just didn't want to!

Think Monsters Inc will be on repeat play today!

JugglingWithPossibilities Fri 09-Nov-12 09:32:59

Enjoy your little monsters MrsHels smile
- And I always found CeeBeebies was great and a life saver too
- nice to feel you have some company sometimes without having to leave the house smile
Hope you have a good day. If the in-laws are just up the road maybe MIL could pop round for a chat or you could walk up to theirs. Anything really to break up the day and they might like to feel needed now your Mum has gone home ? wink

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