AIBU to feel really distressed about what I've been told has happened in my house

(139 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:19:24

We completed on our house this week. I went over there today ( had just picked keys up) to have a look round, see how much cleaning I need to do before we move in etc

There was a knock at the door. Old lady who lives down the road wanted to say hello etc and introduce herself.

I invited her in - she was telling me about bin days and reliable milk men, then she starts telling me about the people who lived there before. And then she says

"We'll you know, it was all very sad what happened"

Me, intrigued "really? What was?"

It turns out a baby was murdered in my house 25 years ago. I very small baby - this woman told me how, etc and in which room (my bedroom)

I'm moving in with 3 small children, my 6 week old being the youngest.

I just feel distressed she's told me. I wish she hadn't. I'm not easily spooked or concerned with ghosties etc but I just feel very sad about the whole thing now.

Hmmm

OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:37:37

She was connected to the mother of the baby, a cousin or second cousin or some thing. The mother has been in a mental asylum ever since.

I wonder if the baby is buried in the local church yard? Do you think if I asked the vicar he would know? I'm not very knowledgable about religion!!

Hopeforever Thu 04-Oct-12 17:39:05

So sad this has happened even before you move in, the thoughtless gossip!

We have been asked to do house blessing when this has happened and I expect your local vicar will do the same is you ask her or him when you move

You can normally find your local vicar by using

www.achurchnearyou.com/parishmap.php

The saddest one was when the neighbour had come to visit the new comers and said the wonderful words

"Oh and this is the room I found him in" and proceeded to tell the new homeowners how the previous occupant had died a gruesome death sad

GrendelsMum Thu 04-Oct-12 17:41:04

You could certainly ask the vicar, or you could take a look around the churchyard for a headstone of about the right age? Do you think you'd feel more comfortable if you went to visit the grave?

It's a very sad story, but really, your own baby's life is just beginning, and that's the important thing.

Whitecherry Thu 04-Oct-12 17:41:32

Mental asylum???

NatashaBee Thu 04-Oct-12 17:44:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:47:29

Yes, an asylum she said - she was sectioned after the death & never returned to the house.

I think planting some thing for the baby & mother would be a nice thing to do. I'm determined to make that house a happy home though. The place seemed very sad today with no furniture - heating hasn't been on etc so place is all cold and smells musty.

OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:48:02

should have bought a new build

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Oct-12 17:49:12

OP, your library should have a database of old local stories and you can check through them from 25yrs back...that's what my friend and I did.

We couldn't find too much about it though...hence the reason she contacted the local paper for help and they sent her a copy of the story.

Please do take heed of what happened to her though and don't agree to the local paper interviewing you about it.

As for the woman telling you, I think she did the right thing in case someone told your kids about it.

justbogoffnow Thu 04-Oct-12 17:49:47

She came over specifically to tell you this. She may have mental health problems?

notanaxemurderer Thu 04-Oct-12 17:49:49

waddle if I were you I'd gleefully tell her that you've seen the ghost in HER house - in her bedroom, hunting through her sock drawer for lonely odd socks.

OP I agree with the others. Light a candle for the baby if you feel you want to (and if you believe the nosy neighbour) and then concentrate on making it a cosy space where nice things happen to happy little DCs.

ExasperatedSigh Thu 04-Oct-12 17:58:45

She sounds like a right ghoul. My nan has a touch of similar; when my son was tiny, she spent at least three visits telling me, in great detail, how her neighbour's daughter's friend had accidentally poured a pot of scalding hot tea over her same-age baby. "Oh poor thing...ooh it was awful...terrible business." I didn't need to hear it once, let alone three times!

You sound like a kind and thoughtful person, I am sure you will create many happy times in your new home smile

Netguru Thu 04-Oct-12 17:59:17

I had a 500 year old house that was two knocked together. I figure loads of people would have died in it. I always found it welcoming and friendly feeling.

Looking at the side of the road at flowers people meet horrible deaths all over the place.

Make your home a happy place. It will then be so.

SinisterBuggyMonth Thu 04-Oct-12 18:29:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

porcamiseria Thu 04-Oct-12 18:33:44

jesus!!!!

agree with whoever said to create a new, lovely happy future

what a mean woman tho

xx

RoomForASmallOne Thu 04-Oct-12 18:37:18

OP I think planting something is a lovely idea smile

SecretCervix Thu 04-Oct-12 18:41:12

who goes round and tells someone that?!

When I was moving in to my old flat, a friend helping who was an undertaker told me that the place seemed familiar and couldn't think why..

"Oh I remember!" He proclaimed, "I removed a body from here once!"

Me : shock

BonaDea Thu 04-Oct-12 18:51:06

YANBU and that is horrible. What an old witch that woman is. She probably pottered off down the road DELIGHTED to have seen your face.

Nothing bad is going to happen to you and your kids. Don't lose any sleep over this nonsense. Yes, it is upsetting, but in reality it doesn't change anything.

Personally, I would chose to believe she made it up.

baskingseals Thu 04-Oct-12 18:57:56

i would definitely plant something.

you could also light a candle and say aloud how you feel.

agree that the best thing that could happen is you and your family moving in.
when i looked round the house i live in now i felt that it needed children - no particular reason why.

WholeLottaRosie Thu 04-Oct-12 19:29:09

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HissyByName Thu 04-Oct-12 19:32:09

I bet you will see that she is a vicious old biddy, who has made it up just to upset you.

Stay clear of her, even if it were true (which i truly doubt) who on earth would be a complete bitch to tell a mother that.

Ignore her.

quoteunquote Thu 04-Oct-12 19:33:38

Plant a lovely rosemary bush, traditional for remembering.

and avoid the woman, she probably has a relative who was hoping to buy the house.

pantone363 Thu 04-Oct-12 19:37:23

The farmer shot himself in our garden
An old man died in his sleep in front of our Rayburn
His wife died of cancer in the living room
In the woods next to our house a teenage girl hung herself from a tree and the top of the rope is still there.

Horrible things happen everywhere!

MsHighwater Thu 04-Oct-12 19:43:09

Doesn't have to be an old house to have a sad history. A teenager died suddenly in our house before we lived here. I believe it happened in what is now our room. I can feel a little sad for the family, who still live in the area, but I don't feel spooked by it. Redecorate, move your furniture in and forget about it.

AnOldieButNotSoGoody Thu 04-Oct-12 19:44:20

God what a thoughtless woman.

It happened yes and you can't change it but you can't let this stop you from being happy about your new house.

AitchTwoOhOneTwo Thu 04-Oct-12 19:45:15

what a tremendous cow... i would be spooked, but not really, because my brain would recognise that it IS a nutty thing to be bothered about. all houses have history, most of them will have terrible things take place.

i really would honour the baby in some way, though, think a rosemary bush is a charming idea. your family will be a tonic for the house.

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