AIBU to feel really distressed about what I've been told has happened in my house

(139 Posts)
OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:19:24

We completed on our house this week. I went over there today ( had just picked keys up) to have a look round, see how much cleaning I need to do before we move in etc

There was a knock at the door. Old lady who lives down the road wanted to say hello etc and introduce herself.

I invited her in - she was telling me about bin days and reliable milk men, then she starts telling me about the people who lived there before. And then she says

"We'll you know, it was all very sad what happened"

Me, intrigued "really? What was?"

It turns out a baby was murdered in my house 25 years ago. I very small baby - this woman told me how, etc and in which room (my bedroom)

I'm moving in with 3 small children, my 6 week old being the youngest.

I just feel distressed she's told me. I wish she hadn't. I'm not easily spooked or concerned with ghosties etc but I just feel very sad about the whole thing now.

Hmmm

It's normal to be freaked out but really, it was 25 years ago. They can't demolish every house where something tragic or dreadful happens.

GhouliaYelps Thu 04-Oct-12 17:21:50

It's horrible but all sorts of dreadful thing probably happened in my house it's 200 years old!
Sorry that it spooked you though God knows why you would mention it...

MrsKeithRichards Thu 04-Oct-12 17:21:51

Oh shit I'd struggle to just forget bein told something like that. It's certainly a case of ignorance is bliss!

OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:22:08

Oh I know. And I've always lived in old houses. I just wish I hadn't been told all the horrific violent details.

peeriebear Thu 04-Oct-12 17:22:38

I'd feel sad too, and strange.
Maybe you can light a candle for the baby when you move in.

sheeplikessleep Thu 04-Oct-12 17:22:46

YANBU. Why did she feel the need to tell you?
That would upset me too.
But then, we never really know what has happened in our homes do we.
You will feel better about it once you've got your own furniture and stuff in, once you've made it your own. It will be a different home then.

OnlyWantsOne Thu 04-Oct-12 17:22:49

Shall now know that woman as the freaky old gossip of the village!!!

NellyJob Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:04

what an old cunt coming round and telling you that.
Every house has a history.
ignore that vile old woman if you see her again.
Don't forget she might be bonkers and making it up or embellishing it.
How would she know such detail?

KenLeeeeeee Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:09

YANBU to feel a bit freaked out, but I really think you'd be pushed to find a house completely devoid of some tragic history or other (obviously not counting new builds!). Try not to dwell on it and let it spoil your new family home. Focus on filling the house with a lot of happy memories and love instead smile

amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:20

This is genuinely true?? It was a 25 years ago. Me,, I'd be more wary of the old lady and her gossiping.....

JamieandtheMagicTorch Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:21

It's a great shame she felt she had to share this information, and of course it's upsetting, especially because you have young children, but bad things have happened in most houses at one time or another.

CurlyKiwiControl Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:30

ah no sad

But you can give it a happy future

Felicitywascold Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:41

Comfort yourself with the knowledge it might not be true. Some people LOVE telling new people stories like this...

mangohedgehog Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:47

that is horrific! silly thoughtless woman telling you that.

poor you. try to concentrate on making it a happy house for children. I'm sure by Christmas you'll have a bit more perspective on the place.

drjohnsonscat Thu 04-Oct-12 17:23:52

I'd take that as a sign to avoid old lady to be honest! Sounds like she couldn't wait to tell you...

Who knows what happened in my house - it's 200 years old. Think of it like that. You don't know what on earth happened before you moved in in most places. I would just reassure yourself that your lovely, vibrant family is about to move in and chase away any sadness by filling the house with laughter.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Thu 04-Oct-12 17:24:11

I'd be more freaked at the nosy gossipyness of your new neighbour than I would the house. She sounds horrible.

minipie Thu 04-Oct-12 17:25:17

Shame that she told you, that is a bit thoughtless of her frankly. I don't blame you for being a bit upset about it.

Bear in mind her details may well not be accurate, they may have been the gossip/rumour at the time, so even if she says it was your bedroom it might not have been etc.

Being rational, something horrible has probably happened in every oldish house at some point and even new houses probably had something nasty happen on the same location even if not the same building. My house is 130 years old and I'm sure all sorts of nasty things have happened there unfortunately. I appreciate it is a bit different knowing the details of a particular event, but like I say it may not be quite accurate.

sittinginthesun Thu 04-Oct-12 17:25:21

Exactly. She sounds like an old gossipsmile

If it does upset you, why not plant something in the garden, just with the baby in mind (you don't have to tell anyone). I think sometimes it helps to mark things in some little way, and you can then move on.

NameChangeGalore Thu 04-Oct-12 17:28:01

What a horrible thing to say to a person you don't even know Nelly. I think that was a horrible post.

Op, I can understand how distressing it must be. The old lady obviously has no tact. I think once you make the house your home, you won't think about its past as often.

My mum died in the house I live in. We have the tv in the corner of the room where she passed away. I don't get spooked or get visitations or anything! It's just as it was before.

MrsKwazii Thu 04-Oct-12 17:29:38

Congrats on the house. I'd take what she's told you with a truckload of salt tbh. What a horrible thing to tell someone, and how would she know every little detail. Bet she's embellished it.

Hope you'll all be very happy in your new home smile

WorraLiberty Thu 04-Oct-12 17:31:35

You probably would have heard the story eventually - or your kids would have so at least this way you're prepared.

My friend moved into a council house and her neighbours told her that 15yrs ago, an 18yr old girl was clubbed over the head by her 2 'friends' in the garden (jealousy over a boyfriend), tied to a chair and hung up by a dog lead in the greenhouse.

Then when she was dead, they covered her in an old carpet, put her in a wheelbarrow and dumped her in her Mum's front garden sad

She tried to research the story to see if it was true, and enlisted the help of the local newspaper...in return she let them come round and do a story on it.

Trouble was, the 'boyfriend' turned up on her doorstep one night (drunk) and decided he wanted to take her through the entire story and she couldn't get rid of him sad

Fosgoldlady Thu 04-Oct-12 17:31:40

If it really bothers you, why not when you go in light a candle and say out loud 'This is a happy house now, with lots of love, so if you are still around know you are free to move on, or you can be here and happy with us'. That way, you know that if you believe in spirits, that one knows it can go.

That's if she's telling the truth and not trying to put the fear of God into you so a family member can buy it off you cheap!

chandellina Thu 04-Oct-12 17:34:43

I'd be skeptical that it's even true. But she shouldn't have told you, either way.

waddleandtoddle Thu 04-Oct-12 17:35:15

When I moved in to my house 2 years ago, my next door neighbour was very quick to tell me about the ghost in my house. Normal woman, young children of her own etc etc. Apparently the ghost was in my bedroom and spent the early hours of the morning opening something like drawers. As you can probably tell I have never seen, felt or heard this ghost.
But interestingly she always mentions it just before she is annoyed by something we've done and is ready to tell us...
I feel it is some sort of control mechanism as I can't fathom a reason why someone would want to highlight this.

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