To ask if your kids play out?

[dizzybiatch]

My kids are 4,6 and 8 and we live in a really remote area. Only a few houses, everyone knows everyone (and their business!)

I let my older two play out. They are allowed to play within our little hamlet including the other house with kids, the edge of the forest, the fields and the road which is a really quiet no through road.

We have just come back from holiday apartment that was in the city we are from originally and whilst we thought the kids would love having lots to do (beach, visit friends and family, lots of museums, cinema, play parks etc) they have actually been desperate to get home to 'play out in the street'.

We were actually thinking we should maybe move because the kids are bored, that there isnt much to do but they hated the city place as they couldnt play out (busy rd, too young and def not street wise!)

We are now thinking we have underestimated just how valuable it is to live in a place where kids can play out when they are young.

How many of you live in a place where you allow your kids to play out at a young age and know it is safe etc and do you consider this invaluable?

[Lucyellensmum99]

Do you KNOW that it is safe? I personally think they are too young, but don't mind me

[brightermornings]

Opposite my house is a big "green". It's always full of kids. It's great! Quite often dd is gone for hours on end just pops in for a drink something to eat.

[Mintyy]

Are you being reasonable to ask?

No, of course its not unreasonable to ask.

[StellaAndFries]

Mine play out too, dd1 is 10 and has freedom of the village on her bike (she takes a mobile and is always with a friend) dd2 is 7 and is allowed to play in her cul de sac, dd3 and dd4 (4&3) are allowed to play out on our drive on their bikes if one of us adults are sitting and watching or it's back garden if I'm busy.

[squeakytoy]

I dont think they are too young. Obviously I would assume the 4yo is always under supervision from the elder two, but it sounds like a great life for them.

[picnicbasketcase]

Agree with Mintyy, it's not an AIBU question. You should say 'AIBU to let my kids play outside' . And YANBU if you consider them to be old enough and safe where they're playing but I wouldn't let mine wander around unaccompanied. Each to their own.

[two2blackcats]

I think mine will be around 7/8.

[Marne]

We live on the edge of a quiet village, my dd's are 6 and 8, i let dd1 onto the green (infront of our house) on her own but sadly there are no other young children on our road so she has no one to play with , dd2 cant play out as she has ASD and has n sense of danger and theres a busy (ish) road near by. I deffently feel safer in the country rather than the city though but i do worry that dd1 will get fed up with having no one to play with.

[usualsuspect]

Mine played out at around the same age as the OPs. I live on a council estate, and all the kids played out.

People who live in cities do let their children play out OP.

[CouthyMow]

My 14yo, yes. My 10yo, yes, started this year. My 8yo? NO. He is not safe to go out like that. He still despite my best blooming efforts has NO road sense, despite me teaching him since he came out of his Mac Major at 5yo. He also has ASD, and though he's not a bolter, if a butterfly flew in front of him and then over the road, he would follow it. He just usn't ready.

So I guess it depends on the maturity of your DC's. Up until this summer, DS1 played in and out of my garden and two of the neighbour's gardens, as two of my neighbours have DC's that were born within two weeks of him, and we have lived here since they were two. So until this year, he had no real need to go further afield. I have a climbing frame in my garden, two doors down has a trampoline, and three doors down has a pool. It's only because one has moved, and the other is away for half the summer at his dad's this year, that he has wanted to go and knock for his friends from school and play in the park.

IMO, it depends on distance as to whether I'd let an 8yo out to play, and how safe your road is, and how sensible YOUR 8yo is. Right outside, probably yes. Busy road directly outside, probably no...

I would NOT let a 4yo play out though. And I would be very iffy about a 6yo, as I would expect them to be responsible for themselves, I wouldn't put the responsibility for their safety in the hands if their older sibling. I didn't have more than one DC just to get the older one to be an unpaid childminder, and of anything happened to the younger one, that's an awful burden you are placing on the older sibling.

So IMO, EACH DC has to be old enough AND mature enough to take responsibility for THEMSELVES. If they aren't old enough AND mature enough to do that, then they aren't old enough to play out.

[Shutupanddrive]

OP has said she lets the older two play out, not the 4 year old! I let my 6 year old play out. He knows he is not allowed past a certain point and I check on him regularly

[Shutupanddrive]

Forgot to say we live in north Wales, very remote and away from any roads. He is also allowed out at village where my mum lives again not past a certain point

[JumpingThroughHoops]

From 8/9 I let mine out.


TBH I get quite horrified at the amount of 6yos round this way who are allowed out until dark (so thats nearly 10pm, and I dont just mean in the holidays) and sit in the kerb with bags of chips for tea.

[Choufleur]

DS (6) is allowed to play out at the front of our house and on a little green next door but one. He's never out for long though as at the moment his friends all live just a bit far away for him to go to on his own.

We live in a village in a quiet cul de sac.

DS is desperate for next summer as I have said I will consider letting him call for a friend around the corner then. Will see at the time if I think he is ready.

[dizzybiatch]

Thanks for the replies, interesting to know what other parents do. My friends who live in the city we visited (but live on the outskirts) don't allow their kids to play out. TBH if we lived where they do I would not allow my 6yo out but my 8 yo I would.

Where we live there are no busy rds, everyone knows everyone and there are no dodgy folk/chavs. The kids that have grown up and left our little hamlet now to go to uni/work were still climbing trees and playing in the fields when they were 14/15! At that age i was drinking, clubbing and interested in men!

I feel quite glad to be home tbh and can now see the benefits of living 'in the middle of no where'. Before my holiday i was so fed up with it but now i am seeing it through different eyes. Worth the trip.

[OHforDUCKScake]

We moved from a city to the sticks 18 months ago. My son is 5.5 and plays outside from 7.30am until tea time everyday (that it isnt raining hard). In my old place I wouldnt have even allowed that when he was 10.

[wigglesrock]

I live in a city, hope I'm not one of those "dodgy folk/chavs" I let my 7 and 4 year old play outside. No busy road, playspace at the back of the house (a court yard type thing) which I can see from the house. All the kids play outside, I was allowed to play outside my grannys from about 6.

[tryingtonotfeckup]

I live in a largish village in a rural location, DS1 is only 5 so not old enough to play out yet, but its not far off. If he lived in a city, depends on which one and where obv he wouldn't be able to until much later. It all depends on the children and the area. I thought they would have great fun here as kids but then really get bored in their teens. Thanks Dizzy it sounds like they might like it a lot longer than I expected.

[dizzybiatch]

wigglesrock- i am sure you are not the 'dodgy folk/chavs' that i am talking about! I am talking proper idiots hanging around smashing their empty bottles that they have been drinking or waiting to score, pupils like piss holes in the snow.... seems most cities/towns/villages have them. Fortunately they havent reached us yet!

My 6 yo is only out when with the other kid round the corner who is 8 or my eldest who is also 8. Not that i ask them to look out for the younger one, just i feel the 8yo will keep it sensible.

4yo still being kept in garden despite endless tears and wanting to go with the others. I think by next summer she can go with the others.

[msbuggywinkle]

We live on a quiet estate, DD1 (6) is allowed to cross the road while I watch to play with her friend who lives opposite us, but in practise, it happens rarely as DD2 (3) usually wants to go too and obv isn't allowed to on her own.

The friends they play with however, the younger one has been allowed out on her own since she was 3. I get very grumpy about being the only adult around!

[two2blackcats]

That's the crux of the problem for me msbuggy

Children playing together without adult supervision behave very differently, and I wouldn't want my DDs to be exposed to that before they were able to deal with it.

[shesariver]

We are lucky where we live that children get out to play and always have done. My DS3 is only 4 so obviously I dont let him out but DS2 whos 10 has been playing outside for years, I dont think twice about it. He loves it and playing with his friends, each to their own of course but I think some people these days are far too caught up in over-protectiveness and what ifs.

[JamieandTheOlympicTorch]

I live in London Zone 2. Mine have played out since they were 7 and 9 out of sight in a nearby playground, with me checking on them periodically. Now (9 and 11) they go out for as long as they want - in practice no more than an hour at a time.

Even in the big bad city there are communities, places where everyone knows everyone and people look out for each other.

[RubyFakeNails]

We live in London so definitely a city, obviously we don't live just off Oxford Street am not an oligarch but still its quite central I suppose.

Have always lets them play out, although its normally as part of a group and my eldest 2 aren't even a year apart in age and knew they always had to stay together. I guess in more rural places I would perhaps be happy with them being on their own but I always insisted they were together or with the group round here.

We've lived on estates, in blocks and now in a residential street so really its just like living out in the suburbs etc. Unfortunately my DD2 is 6 and there aren't any kids on our street of her age to play with. I let her play in the front garden but with the door on the latch.