to think my hubby is being an overprotective ass!!

[lilybeansmummy]

i told my husband last night a woman in a shop asked why our daughter wore glasses (she's only 19mnths), to which he asked what i said, i told him i said that she wears them cos she has a squint in 1 eye and her eye sight in terrible (which it is) and he went ballistic!! he said i shudn't say she has 'bad' eyesight as this is putting her down and he doesnt want her ever to feel put down or feel she cant do anything, i shud just say she needs them to see properly. i ofcourse did not take this to kindly as i wud never do anything to upset my child so how dare he suggest otherwise + she is 19mnths old how on earth will she feel put dow! in my eyes he is really overprotective of her, too overprotective! she goes to nursery 3 times a wk (a nursery i work in) and the girls in there dont want to tell him if there is any incidents involving her however minor they are, if he cud wrap her in cotton wool i think he wud, i'm forever trying to tell him to back off a little cos she is more than capable of doing things for herself but he just cant seem to let go! the last thing i want is a spoilt brat of a child but if he doesnt change a little of the way he treats her she will!!! agggggghhhhh rant over :)

[WhiteWidow]

Say it how it is. If she has bad eyesight, say so.

[puds11]

i personally would have said she can't see very well as i too dont like the phrase 'bad eyesight'

[lazilou]

OT but how do they test eyesight in kids that young?

[Proudnscary]

He sounds like a mentalist

[Flyingwithoutwings]

I developed bad eyesight at the age of 8. An age when I could see (pardon the pun) it as a "failing" in the way your husband means.
I didn't see it as anything other than bad eyesight. I was picked on at school for having glasses but I simply did the "4 eyes are better than 2" thing. It soon stopped.
Bad eyesight and using that terminology isn't going to affect any child / adult. So many wear glasses these days (even people who don't need them ) that it's just not an issue.

I wonder: does DH see it as a "fault" and that is why he kicked off? A release of his own guilt / anger

I still wear glasses, my eyesight is very bad. But it's no reflection on me as a person and I wouldn't expect anyone to feel down about needing glasses.

[lilybeansmummy]

he is a bit!! lazilou they look at your eyes and they can see some nerve thing which is supposed to be in a certain place, depending on how far back or forward it tells if they are short or long sited and how bad!

[manicbmc]

They try and get the child engaged and show them cards with increasingly small pictures on and at different places on the cards. Then they observe where the child is looking to see if they can see the picture. Ds had to wear glasses from about 1 year for a squint. Didn't make much difference to him though he did look very sweet in them.

[WenTheEternallySurprised]

Oh FFS, you can't say "bad eyesight" now in case it affects a child? Give me strength!

lily, YANBU and your husband is acting like a complete loon.

[doormat]

aww bless he is daddys little girl

sorr y i think it is sweet that he is being just a tad over protective of his dd

[lilybeansmummy]

my husband wears glasses 'as he needs them to see' and needed them from a young age too + he also had a squint so he possibly thinks she has all this because of his genes but the way i see it is if glasses are all she needs through her life then happy days and as she has had them since she was 1 she wont/doesnt know any difference!

[Proudnscary]

Yuck @ 'daddy's little girl'.

I want my dd to grow up fearless and strong, not someone's 'princess'.

That is not doing her a favour and is feeding her the message that she is vulnerable and in need of a man's protection - which is of course a load of old bollocks.

[WenTheEternallySurprised]

I wear glasses because just like your husband I have crap bad eyesight, lily.

[JeezyPeeps]

I wonder if your husband has issues from childhood for something similar?

Otherwise it makes no sense to me!

[Birdsgottafly]

It sounds as though he is taking using what could be classed as 'negative' language, a bit far.

Saying her eyesight is terrible, isn't being negative about her.

Was he brought up 'in a put down way'?, or has he done courses in communication?, it does make you more aware of the use of language.

You should be deciding on how to parent between you, though.

[ChippingInNeedsCoffee]

ProudNScary - Everyone is entitled to their ownopinon & comments. If you don't like something, don't say it - knock yourself out. You have no business being so rude about someone else's comment. If you want to whinge and moan about it - go over to feminism and complain there. As an aside, she can be Daddy's Little Girl as well as fearless & strong - it is not an either or.

[WhiteWidow]

Proudandscary - there's nothing wrong with playing a princess every now and again. I think daddy's little girl is cute too, she's only a child.

I think your username suits you well

[lilybeansmummy]

i think he felt held back by his glasses when he was younger, i'm not sure! i think it must be more guilt than anything! and trust me proudnscary my daughter can certainly hold her own, even at 19 months she will def not be anyones 'little princess' but she is and prob always will be (as i still am at 29) a daddys girl!

[BlackAffronted]

My DS wore glasses from 17 months for the same reasons, I used to just say he had a squint & left the eyesight bit out. No idea why really.

[fortifiedwithtea]

YANBU. Your DH is being OTT. My DD2 is very long sighted and has an inoperatable squint, and numerous small disabilities and has never been stopped from doing anything (well apart from archery for other Brownies safety ).

[Proudnscary]

Well yes there is a difference between a 'daddy's girl' and 'princess' I concede, Lily.

WhiteWidow - I shall take that as a compliment!

[Threeprinces]

My DS1 has worn glasses since 7 weeks old, yes 7 weeks! When everyone used to ask us, I'd just go on about how amazing it is that they can test babies eye sight at that age. As we were originally told (incorrectly) that he was blind, glasses ended up being a blessing. He is now 11 and wearing trendy glasses, he really doesn't care about it.

I wouldn't really have an issue with saying bad eyesight though, like when the kids used to ask why people were in wheelchairs I used to say their legs didn't work very well. It seems a factually nearly correct answer which is understandable for kids.

[jazzchickens]

YANBU. It does sound like your DH is projecting his own feelings from when he was little. Glasses are seen as "cool" by the young nowadays - my DS wanted glasses even when he didn't need them (he does now).

He was out of order having a go at you though.

He needs to get a grip otherwise he'll never cope with the teenage years

[cory]

I think there is a danger in trying to protect children too much by pretending they are all just the same.

Ds's paediatrician told us in his hearing that he must not use any aids 'because that will make him see himself as disabled and "different"'. The result is that ds now thinks there is something terribly wrong about being disabled (since he mustn't be allowed to see himself that way) and will not ask for help when he needs it; he does badly at school but consoles himself with the thought that he is not "different" from the other lazy boys who also do badly. Whereas getting good grades through admitting that he is "different" would be bad.