To think I should choose when we conceive DC2?

[MissMarjoribanks]

DS is just 2. DH is desperate for DC2. He mentions it every single day without fail. I have told him he's nagging but he just can't let up on it.

I had a difficult pregnancy and birth with DS1 - spotting all the way through and (although probably unrelated) ended up giving birth unexpectedly at 33 weeks. 4 weeks in SCBU followed. I also have minor gynae problems which will be sorted next month and had a miscarriage a couple of months ago.

DH keeps huffing and puffing and saying that we won't be able to TTC till March following my gynae procedure and that DS won't play with his sibling because the age gap will be too much. I'm not sure I even want to go for it in March. In fact, I'm not sure I even want a second child, although I realise that it would benefit DS.

AIBU to tell DH to sod off?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

YANBU

[laluna]

No yanbu to tell him to sod off but you need to make your feelings known. It should be a joint decision but as the brunt of the physical side falls to you (esp in view of previous problems) you may have a bit more of a say!

Re the siblings not getting on because of their age gap, he is being unreasonable. It is purely personality - not age that determines this. I have 4yrs 9 mths between mine and they are fine. We often don't have any control about the timing or spacing of pregnancies, do we?

[MissMarjoribanks]

Laluna - I've said all this. He just says he'll support me, which he will, I have no doubt about that. That's not the point though. He can wait on me hand and foot but it doesn't get over the fact he's pushing me into a pregnancy I don't want to have.

[TroublesomeEx]

He needs to know that you have heard him and that it is a decision you both have to make. That you won't forget that he wants DC2 and that when you are ready you will discuss it further.

It's a normal desire on his part, and shows that he does enjoy being a dad etc, so there are positives to take from it...

But as laluna says, you will be doing the getting pregnant (none of this "we're pregnant" shit!) It will be you who carries the baby, you who worries daily and questions everything you do. You who worries and carries the guilt. You who gave birth, you who has gynae problems and so ultimately you who makes the decision on when it is the right time for you and your body.

If DC1 is only 2, there is still plenty of time. There are 7 years between mine and they are also fine.

[callmemrs]

Joint decision to have a child. End of.

[squeakytoy]

YANBU, it isnt his body that has to take the strain..

[PontyMython]

You've just had a miscarriage and he's still huffing and puffing about you not being pregnant yet? Nice.

Sorry about the MC x