To Think No-one Enjoys Sex "The 1st Time"

(97 Posts)
afteralongsquawk Mon 24-Oct-11 00:11:54

Had a Gels' Night Out last night - 1st in ages - and we got onto "losing our virginities" (only once each, mind); it was very clear that none of us had enjoyed it at all!

Sort of perversely glad that mine was the grimmest on offer: 15 1/2 / best friend's 16th / bathroom floor / best friend's brother (18) who I really fancied / tipsy but not drunk / forgot to say NO / he went straight in like a loony, so painful that I thought something had gone wrong & that I would die / he took ages to finish, but as soon as he did he sprinted downstairs to broadcast what had happened / when I tried to emerge inconspicuously a long while later, I was greeted with cheers, clapping, wolf-whistles etc / then his mum publicly denounced me as a cheap slut who was trying to ruin his life, & ordered me out of the house.

I think I only stayed sane because my best friend went postal on his mum, walked me home & stayed the night on my floor; & didn't speak to his brother for several years. Given I was mid-cycle, I have no idea how I did not get pg, except that I know that he has been married twice and had many tarts but no kids, so may be infertile - YIPEE!!!

I made a vow then that I would never have sex again. I kept it for almost 2 years, after which I became an enthusiast [grin}...

Being serious, most girls lose it age 14 - 18 to boys about the same age; and they are much more concerned about how it is for them than how it is for you - when they come, they assume you're happy: have I got that right? confused Did anyone actually enjoy it? [envy}

Comments? Your own experience etc?

C4ro Mon 24-Oct-11 08:50:41

Sorry to hear the grim starts but it wasn't like that for me. Mine was at 15 to a BF just a week older than me and it was approached a lot like best mates doing a science experiment! Actually was enjoyable and fun. Probably that stable BF side and good friendship made it feel totally safe and was more important than the precise age it happened at.

toboldlygo Mon 24-Oct-11 08:57:38

I had just turned 16, we'd been going out for about six months. It was fun, if a little awkward, lots of fumbling about prior to that so it didn't hurt, the whole thing was quite pleasant and sweet, I grinned a lot the next day. We're still together now. smile

MrsOzz Mon 24-Oct-11 09:03:51

At the risk of sounding like a sex Ed teacher, if you wait until your body is ready, are with someone you fully trust and are relaxed it will be 100 times better than a rushed fumble with someone you've just met!

I enjoyed my first time. I was almost 18, been with the guy a few months a felt very much in love. It felt very 'tight' to begin with, but not painful by any means. I had an orgasm so it couldn't have been that bad!

WardrobeYeti Mon 24-Oct-11 09:04:23

I was 19 and it was with a lovely guy. It hurt like hell for a fair bit of it and we had to stop after a while. I remember feeling incredibly relieved that I'd finally done "it" and slightly dazed. In retrospect, I wish I hadn't rushed into it- we'd only been together a little while I think it would have been better had we worked harder on getting to know each other physically.

skrumle Mon 24-Oct-11 09:06:39

i was 21, in a bed with a guy i liked and although i really wanted to (he kept checking as he knew i was a virgin) it still really hurt... i did enjoy the overall experience though.

Megatron Mon 24-Oct-11 09:09:53

Mine was good. I was 19 and we went on to marry (divorced some years later).

DesperatelySeekingPomBears Mon 24-Oct-11 09:26:28

YABU I was 22, we'd been together a month or so, it was perfect. He didn't know beforehand that he was my first (told him straight afterward - I mustn't have done too badly because his response was 'Bloody hell! Really?!') but was still very gentle and careful and a lot more focussed on me than himself.

ItWasABoojum Mon 24-Oct-11 09:26:34

I was 23, in a 4-poster bed in a hotel room with the guy I went on to live with for 3 years. So yes, it was pretty good. smile

Rollon2012 Mon 24-Oct-11 09:30:32

I loved the person , but haemorraghed first time , day after was so light headed couldn't hardly walk and couldnt tell anybody I at the time had no idea what was happening lasted 3 days. ick.

eurochick Mon 24-Oct-11 09:31:40

Mine was pretty good. I was 18 and with a boy I adored. We had been together a year before it happened. We were on our first holiday together in the Canaries. It hurt a bit because I was tense and I now realise that he was quite, er, large, but it was very emotionally charged and he was very gentle. We stayed together for years and it got better over time as we practised!

Kormachameleon Mon 24-Oct-11 09:38:37

Op you sound vile

Yippee that the man could be infertile ?

Tarts not partners or girlfriends ?

Nasty

Rollon2012 Mon 24-Oct-11 09:42:57

Yeah why are you so happy someone is infertile?
if you had been saying that about a woman the roof would have come of ewith the screams of outrage, and calling all his partners tarts by definition doesnt that make you one of them??

I'm being harsh but like Korma pointed and i re read horrible, I hope no-one doing fertility treatment is reading this very bad taste.

DownbytheRiverside Mon 24-Oct-11 09:47:22

I was 16, we enjoyed it. There was so much laughter involved. grin

Kormachameleon Mon 24-Oct-11 09:51:31

And for the record
I lost mine at 15, to a boyfriend of 18 months. In a bed, with condoms and the pill for protection

We had planned it and discussed

We both enjoyed it and look back with very fond memories

So it isn't about your first time/ second time / 20th time
It's about not shagging someone you barely know on the bathroom floor

AhsataN Mon 24-Oct-11 09:51:51

i was 14 and he was 18 it was on my friends sofa bed while she was asleep in the same room.
it was so painful he was very well endowed. it was fun at the time. i did regret afterwards and i didnt want to see him again.
i was too young but im glad i didnt loose it to someone and then get my heart broken.

JjandtheBeanlovesUnicorns Mon 24-Oct-11 09:57:54

15, He was my 17yr old best friend for a year, eventually that fell into a relationship, I adored him. After a whole night of pressure I finally gave in in the freezing cold morning in a tent in his mums front garden, it was grim. He toyed with my emotions for a year and shagged someone else.

He was my best friend until sex entered our relationship sad

TheFallenMadonna Mon 24-Oct-11 10:07:00

I enjoyed my first time. I was a bit older than many (19), we had been together for a while, I had sorted contraception, talked to my mum blush and it was just the right thing. It doesn't sound very romantic put like that, but it was. Very.

KatAndKit Mon 24-Oct-11 10:16:11

I was 16, it was nice but wouldn't set the world on fire. First time for both of us, very emotional experience, we had been going out for a while and had taken things slowly so it wasn't like we were going straight from nothing to having full sex. Yeah, it was a nice way to have the first time and with a nice person who cared about me. Obviously the sex lasted about two nano seconds though.

TeWihara Mon 24-Oct-11 10:18:27

Are you okay OP? Did you want to have sex with this guy, because it sounds like you didn't.

Moomim Mon 24-Oct-11 10:23:32

not painful at all, but since I can't remember the details I'm assuming it was bloody boring...

Minus273 Mon 24-Oct-11 10:48:28

I lost my virginity to XH, before we were married.

I didn't enjoy sex until I was in my 30s after he had left me.. Until then I wondered what all the fuss was about. blush

spookshowangellovesit Mon 24-Oct-11 11:17:13

i was 17 and it was nice i married him and we were together for ten yrs.

I was 16. It was sweet, and gentle and full of emotion. We had been together for 10 whole days(!!!!!) and it felt right. It was a little bit uncomfortable (physically). It wasn't his first time so he was much more confident than I was but in a really lovely reassuring way.

12 years later we are married with 4 children and I look back on it with really fond memories.

The actual sex has improved lots since then!

windsorTides Mon 24-Oct-11 11:23:16

I can understand the OP's dislike of the man who raped her, because that's what it sounds like to me. Is that why you really started this thread OP, to see whether other posters see it that way? In which case, it might be worth starting another, on a more supportive board.

animula Mon 24-Oct-11 11:32:07

Hi OP. How long ago was all this?

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