to be unhappy at witnessing casual racial slur in front of children

[JohnStuartMills]

I was at a pedestrian crossing yesterday. There was a lull in people crossing as I approached. A family approached at the same time. A car stopped to allow us to cross. The man (accompanied by adult female companion, couple of teenagers and two younger ones) didn't start crossing but was looking into the car at the occupants. It happened to be a black male driver and female companion. The 'family' man just said out ( I guess for the benefit of his companions 'go on you black b--'. There was a bit of a snigger from the teenagers and we all crossed. I thought this was kind of ridiculous but nasty. It was so casual and such a cheap little comment.

[magicmummy1]

:(

[Ivortheengine8]

YANBU I don't see why parents have to swear in front of their kids anyway, let alone the arguably racist comment. Some people just find it acceptable though I guess. Just means the kids will unfortunately probably follow in the parents footsteps!

[GrimmaTheNome]

YANBU. And nothing you could really do in that situation either.

[JohnStuartMills]

Yeah, it was a bit depressing.

[HedleyLamarr]

That is horrible. I fail to see why some folk have to act in such a manner. Bloody scratters.

[inkyfingers]

So sad to think that racist attitudes are going to take a very long time to finally disappear, if children hear this kind of thing and think it's acceptable.

If my kids heard, I'd say something to them about other people's tragic attitudes.

[JohnStuartMills]

My son wasn't with me. It was a stupid thing to say it in the first place, but I was couldn't believe he said it in front of his own children.

[Kalinda]

Well it's pretty horrible stuff, but it's not a given that this person's children will become racists too. My parents were fairly racist (they are asian, btw), but I am not.

One of my first experiences in London was being trapped in a tube train with a Spurs supporter and his son. The man was singing "I'd rather be a Paki than an Arsenal fan", and staring right at me the whole time. His son, who I guess was about 12, kept asking him to shut up and looking at me wearily/apologetically. The man's song was a pretty hideous experience for me personally - I am an Arsenal fan, after all . But I was gratified by the son's obvious discomfiture and the thought that this stupid man's racism might not be passed down to the next generation.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

You couldn't believe it? Where have you been? There are plenty of morons around who can't string a sentence together (in public or otherwise) without every other word beginning with 'f' and ending in 'uck'. They yell obscenities into mobile phones and lose their rag with anyone that dares to object. A bit of casual racism in front of the wife and kids is presumably what passes for family entertainment.

[HellAtWork]

Kalinda How horrible for you! Revolting little man - and his poor son. You're right, racist parents can actually instill a deep anti-racist sentiment in their DCs. My dad's mum was pretty casually racist and my dad is very anti-racist.

OP Was it a nice car? Were either of the passengers particularly attractive? Am just wondering where his sudden little burst of venom came from. Not excusing it, just can't fathom why (even if you're racist) and how you'd justify being nasty when someone had stopped to let you cross!

[chubbly]

Kalinda - that is horrid.
It seems to be that it's acceptable in passing. I was on my way to the tube and a Muslim lady and her son were crossing just in front of me at a zebra crossing. A cyclist sped up so he could shout something in her face! I was so shocked that he'd do that in front of her child (he must have been around six). I wish I could have caught up with him and confronted him, it just shook me up so much.

[Empusa]

Sounds like the family of one of my exes. They all thought racism was hysterically funny, and when I pulled them up on it they then started saying things like, "oh look a black man, better not say anything! Empusa loves them!"

[MrsReasonable]

You can't really complain unless you confronted him about it. These examples of casual racism will continue if left unchallenged. IMO, not challenging it is tantamount to condoning it.

[BooyHoo]

you know i was thinking about this today. i hear racism at least weekly. and i am sick of it. i am sick of anyone thinking they are superior because of their skin.

i think their should be some law (maybe there is) that says anyone in the street can report racism(also, disability bashing/sexism/homophobia) and if a person is caught being racist then tehy should have to pay a massive fine. big enough to cover all the costs of taking them to court and more on top. i think it would really make people think twice about vocalising their racist attitudes. it mightn't stop them thinking it, (but we dont want to become the thought police) but it may stop them saying it out loud where anyone can be offended.

[Ivortheengine8]

Mrsreasonable, we don't know how the guy would have reacted though if she had challened him. He could have got all defensive and started on her, you have to be careful now who you approach.
Empusa, thats just pretty immature and ignorant. I am married to an African (white myself) and am lucky my family don't have any problem with it at all. I know some families still might.
Racism is just ignorance really. I bet those who are like that have never even spoken to a black person.
I worked in Asia for 3 years and I found the racism there quite upsetting.