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AIBU?

To be REALLY annoyed at the nursery

24 replies

anniebex · 27/04/2011 13:44

My ds was 2 in February and has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder. He needs constant stimulation, and without it can be violent, pinching, slapping and biting.
Has been in nursery for nearly 2 years as I'm in full time work.
Occupational Therapy have been brilliant and have given us loads of activities that satisfy him and, although hard work at home, there is no violence.
After a good start in nursery after the occupational therapist visited and showed the staff how to deal with my little man, there has been major regression. They are not giving him his prescribed activities (for which they are receiving extra funding) and he is attacking the staff and the other children.
They now want to permanently exclude him.
I'm angry, scared and all over the place.
I totally understand that it is unacceptable to have a child that attacks others BUT he only does this when his sensory needs are not met.
What do I do??????????????

OP posts:

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gow · 27/04/2011 13:46

They should have a senco (special educational needs co ordinator) who you can talk to. Extra funding or not they should be following what the ot says.

anniebex · 27/04/2011 13:48

They do have a SENCO and everything she knows about DS is what I've given her.
There seems to be no inclination to do anything about the situation at all.

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HappyMummyOfOne · 27/04/2011 13:50

As its childcare rather than educational setting, does the extra funding cover a one to one member of staff? If not, then they may not have the time to devote to one child and activities whilst having others in their care.

Can family help out or would you use a childminder? You may struggle to find any nursery that can cover the costs of one to one care.

GypsyMoth · 27/04/2011 14:01

i would think the priority here is to keep the other children safe

would he not need a statement for one to one funding?

GypsyMoth · 27/04/2011 14:02

and how do you know they are not giving prescribed activities?

anniebex · 27/04/2011 14:03

Thanx for that HappyMummyOfOne.
OT says that he needs 4X20 minute sessions of deep muscle stimulation every day. So he needs to push heavy things about, or climb, or hang from monkey bars - that sort of thing - just to give his muscles a realy good work out.
5x4x20 = 400 mins per week which is just under 7 hours, and the nursery gets funding for 15 hours.
Grrrrrrrrr.
Alas, I have no family close by at all.

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anniebex · 27/04/2011 14:05

I agree that all the children must feel safe and I know that they are not giving him his prescribed activities, because they tell me what he has done during the day when I go to pick him up.

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ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 27/04/2011 14:09

If they are getting the funding for 15 hours, then they should be making sure he's getting 15 hours worth of 1:1 to meet his needs, thus keeping the other children free of harm.

Is it possible to find another nursery or childminder where his needs will be met willingly? Is it possible to use the money to get a nanny instead?

anniebex · 27/04/2011 14:12

That's a good idea ChippingIn......

I'm so cross and upset about the whole thing, that I hadn't even thought that another nursery might be willing to take him on. We're having such a tough time with this one.

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Bramshott · 27/04/2011 14:13

You might get some more informed replies if you posted this thread in the Special Needs section. There will be people there who are very clued up about what the statutory duties attached to diagnosis / funding foir 1:1 etc are.

anniebex · 27/04/2011 14:14

Thanx Bramshott.
I'll post there too.

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Tangle · 27/04/2011 14:16

How do you react when they tell you what he's done and it becomes apparent that he hasn't had his daily work-out? Have you put in writing that this has come to your attention and you are concerned for the safety of all involved (other children, staff, your DS) as the OT's instructions are not being followed?

nannynick · 27/04/2011 14:19

The funding may not be enough to pay for a 1:1 and even if it is enough to pay for it, it may not be possible for them to do the activities as other children may be using outdoor equipment, other children may want to join in, etc.

Perhaps this Nursery just isn't the right place for your son to be at the moment. Perhaps being with less children around would be better, such as with a childminder, who may be able to organise things such that his activities do get done each day, or with a nursery which is more adaptable.

Agree with Bramshott that posting in Special Needs is a good idea, as others there may well have had similar experience.

LaWeasel · 27/04/2011 14:21

I would leave them and find another nursery.

I have worked with people who were dodgy about using the funding for the right things before (ooh, I have worked with people who were great about it)

pingu2209 · 27/04/2011 14:28

Is the nursery he goes to a private day nursery or a state run one or a special needs nursery?

I have a SEN child and I can honestly say that private day nurseries do not on the whole have the right attitude for children with SEN. Whilst Ofsted monitor all nurseries and by law they need to provide for all children, the reality is very different.

Private day nurseries are often just businesses that are there to provide adequate childcare for working parents. They take care of the needs of 'normal' children but not SEN.

Often private day nurseries pay very low wages to staff and my experience often they are staffed by very young girls. These girls are not queued up enough to help SEN children effectively.

Have you looked into special needs nurseries near you?

nannynick · 27/04/2011 14:28

You are not mentioning about your sons keyworker at nursery. Presumably he has one plus then there is also the person the extra funding is paying for - have you met them? Or are they using the funding for something else, such as training up your sons keyworker?

All the 2 to 3 year olds would benefit from doing the same exercises as your son, so no reason why the nursery couldn't do it for all the children in that room, if they don't have a 1:1 worker but instead are using the funding to train multiple staff and buy equipment.

yummybutterbiscuit · 27/04/2011 14:33

I think that because nursery care is t compulsory, they don't have any obligation to keep your child there. If they ask him to leave, they will stop getting the extra funding, and you can instead get a nanny or childminder that sounds better suited to you child.

bubblecoral · 27/04/2011 14:39

If he gets 15 hours of funding it may be that he just gets early funding for a nursery place because of his SN, and that they don't actually recieve any extra money because you would be paying for it otherwise. All children are funded for 15 hours at 3, but if there are SN then they can be funded earlier. I would check this out because it would be very hard for them to give your ds that amount of 1:1 support unless a person was employed specifically for him. And they can't do that without a statement and extra funding on top of what it costs to have any child there.

Does he have a statement?

anniebex · 27/04/2011 14:58

Thanx Nannynick.
He has had four different KeyWorkers in the last 8 months.
The current one is a lovely girl, but she has no experience of SEN, no training and no imagination.

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anniebex · 27/04/2011 15:00

Thanx bubblecoral.
It's a private nursery, with the extra funding coming from the council to support him there.
I think the answer is to try and find him a place somewhere else where his needs will be addressed rather than swept under the carpet.

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bubblecoral · 27/04/2011 15:05

Sounds like it's time to look for a new nursery! There are some fantasic ones out there with staff that are really keen to go the extra mile for a child with SN. Four keyworkers in 8 months is not a good sign.

You have every right to be angry with the nursery for wanting to exclude your child, but it may turn out to be a blessing in disguise.

nannynick · 27/04/2011 15:06

4 keyworkers in 8 months. They must have a high staff turnover rate. That in in self if reason to consider changing nursery or type of care. Your son needs consistency, not ever changing staff.

Look at other nurseries and also childminders. Having a nanny would be very expensive, so nursery or childminder are your options I feel.

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pingu2209 · 27/04/2011 16:36

You seem to be describing the nursery my ds1 with SEN went to many years ago. A high staff turnover/turnover of keyworkers is not a good sign. Look for special needs nurseries.

Journey · 27/04/2011 17:16

If he is getting funding for 15 hours then he should be getting them. What are they using the money on otherwise? They need to keep a daily record of his exercise times and at the end of the week it should add up to 15 hours. Evidence that they are fudging the time would be indicated by your DS's behaviour.

I'd look for another nursery who honours the 15 hours of funding.

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