Tell me IABU...

[marmaladetwatkins]

It will stop me feeling like such a hormonal tithead :(

On thursday, my best mate texted me to ask if I wanted to join her and another (not very close) mate for a few drinks and food on saturday (last night). I am a bit broke as it's DH's/stepmums/niece's birthdays all this month, so I weighed up whether I wanted to shell out for a night out in an evening cafe then paying for a cab home (£20ish) I decided it wasn't worth it and I'd rather save my pennies, so I text my BM back and told her just that and she said no worries it's really short notice anyway/nothing special.

Then today I see that BM has posted pictures on FB of not just her and the not-so-close mate but my other two best mates too, all on a proper night out, not just at the cafe. I feel really peed off but I don't know why! One of the other best friends text me earlier on to see if I was still going to hers tomorrow and I said yes and did she have a nice time last night. She said they did have fun and they were all saying they wished I had come out, to which I said "well I didn't know you were all going out or else I probably would have"

If I'd known they were all going I would have gone as we don't all get together often on a night out, so I wouldn't have minded spending money on that. I feel a bit left out and :( But I also feel like a stupid twelve year old and I am usually very secure in my friendships but this has rattled me.

Tell me to STFU or summat please.

[Bogeyface]

Did your friend perhaps arrange the night out with the other not-so-good friend and then think "oh I know I will text marmalade and X and Y to see if they want to come" So when she originally texted it *was just her and other mate but both the others could come so it ended up being a bigger deal.

I would be a bit pissed off that she hadnt mentioned texting your other friends too though, and I can see why you are disappointed. i think I would be too.

[separated]

I can understand how that would have felt.
You aren't being unreasonable.

[marmaladetwatkins]

It was just that from the initial text, it sounded like it was just going to be the two of them plus me if I went. If she'd said "X and Y are coming too" it would have been different and I probably would have gone. I just feel a bit like she was playing the night down although I know that my other best friend would have probably needed some notice as she has got a new baby...

[chrisonabike]

Aw, that's a shame. But not worth getting in a grump over.

Why don't you invite all your closest mates round for dinner soon - then instead of feeling shitty you'll have a good gossipy boozefest to look forward to.

[AgentZigzag]

Not nice of you to say to your other friend that if you'd know they were all going out you would have changed your priorities.

I can imagine that might make the friends who asked you to the caff a bit we're not good enough to spend the time going out with just on our own?

They seem really inclusive of you and kind to me.

I'm of the thinking that hormones (whatever the reason is you're hormonal) can really skew how you normally see things, so for that reason YABU and should STFU (in the nicest possible way)

[marmaladetwatkins]

Well, we are due to do other stuff soon so I don't feel "out of the loop" etc etc. I suppose I am just miffed at missing out on the chance of a piss- up-- few civilised drinks with me beyotches

[cyrilsneer]

I reckon the plans probably just evolved.

I'd probably try and let it go if I were you, marmalade...

[marmaladetwatkins]

BeerTricks I'm thinking that that's what it is and it's my fault that I opted out that I missed out.

Agent I know my OP sounds a bit like that but honestly it's not! I'll explain a bit better... If I'd gone out just for a meal/drinks I would have gone home afterwards, in a taxi. It's expensive for me as I live in a different own from them. However, if we go out on a proper night out, with 3am finish, I stay at one of their houses, thus cutting out the pricey cab. I thought quiet night out will probably cost about £40-50, including cabs/meal whereas an actual night out would be cheaper as we end up in a grubby bohemian club with £1 drinks so even though out for longer, would cost less, IYSWIM?

[marmaladetwatkins]

Well, yes. We usually, ahem, lubricate ourselves prior to venturing out at one of our houses too.

I am aware that I am making us sound like Blackpool hen-night style banshees

[AgentZigzag]

In that case YANBU to be miffed at missing the cheaper night out, especially at the exotic sounding grubby club

Your friends did ask you out and I'm sure they didn't try to put you off whilst looking forward to a piss up behind your back.

If that was the case they wouldn't have mentioned it to you in the first place.

[AgentZigzag]

yy to BTPs sound financial advice

[marmaladetwatkins]

I'm not normally this tight, honest, but birthdays/mother's day/easter are clearing me out. I might start running a prohibition-era-style gin saloon in my house.

[marmaladetwatkins]

I know. I am being an unreasonable twat. Mainly because I am sore at myself :(

[LoveLeonardCohen]

Do you know what....I feel like that a lot when I see photos on facebook of nights out where I wasn't included which is mostly all of them...(small baby, tired etc). I even feel 'left out' seeing photos of nights out of people that I don't know that well and probably wouldn't go out with anyway! Anyway so you can see I'm much more unreasonable than you! (secretly I think it's more common than people say

[AgentZigzag]

'I know. I am being an unreasonable twat. Mainly because I am sore at myself'

Awww you big soft hormonal tithead

[marmaladetwatkins]

Awwww gerroff