To be a bit sad that i can't count on any one person anymore?

[OTTMummA]

I think im slipping into depression again, but god lord, i have to just vent.

Had a hard few weeks and instead of people trying to help me out a little, and i mean in very little ways i have been running around working myself half to death just to please other people, with no thanks or anything

I really don't need this crud, am also in a lot of pain at the moment and because i have been so busy, i ran out of my meds and can't get an appointment before saturday, and have sooooo much to do, i just want to curl up in my bed and sleep for a month.

Am actually crying now, how pathetic.

Why does no one want to help me? I am mostly not a bitch and am a decent person.

i feel like really giving up on people, am also thinking moving out, i can't stand my DH at the moment, i want to be alone and in quite for a while, he doesn't get it, which makes me angry.

[reelingintheyears]

It's not pathetic to be unhappy and to cry.....

If you can, can you get away for a night or two just to clear your head?

Can you cut down on the people you are 'running' around for?

Probably not much help but.....chin up....you can always vent here.....

I don't know you but i do know how it feels to feel unhappy.

[OTTMummA]

i just want to un-exisist for a while.
I feel so let down.

[gillybean2]

Sometimes you do have to step back and take time our for yourself.
Other people may think you're capable and not realise you're struggling. Have you actually said how things are with you and that you need some help yourself?
Make time to get your meds. Why can't you go before this if you need them and are in pain? Your dh can have the kids while you do...

Is the situation with your DH not understandinga new thing or has it always been difficult for you to communicate your feelings and/or for him to empathise with you? Perhaps he doens't appreciate just how difficult things are for you right now.
Do you have anywhere you can go for a break? Even if it's just to get out of the house for a few hours while he has the dc?

[MotherMucca]

Hi OTT, sorry you are feeling so shit.

I don't know your history, so feel free not to answer if you don't want to. :)

• You say you feel that you are slipping into depression. Have you discussed with your GP? If so, are you taking AD's? Or having any other support? If not, would you consider it? As I am sure you are aware, you do not necessarily have to take AD's forever - sometimes they just help during a particularly difficult time...
  

• Are you in physical pain?
  

• Is your husband a reasonable and supportive person? Can you talk to him?
  

• You are NOT pathetic!
  

• Can you get good support from RL friends?

[MotherMucca]

X-Posted, sorry!

[OTTMummA]

I do tell people, and ask, occasionally, but before i have finished my plea, they've got me packed up like a donkey with a mountain of little things i have stupidly agreed to do for them.

Thing is, i am not a pushover, i have no problem with confrontation, i just feel bad for people, and if i can help, then i do.

These last few weeks have started to make me feel awful, and has reminded me of how many people have never helped me out.
I keep fliting between anger, dissapointment and sadness.

I don't feel like i actually like anyone in my life anymore.

[gillybean2]

OTT say no to other people for a while. It may seem difficult, I was brought up to be like that too so appeciate that it can be hard. But it was such a relief when I finally turned round and said no to people who would take and never give in return.

[OTTMummA]

The idea of walking out and getting on a train to somewhere is becoming a daily day dream, thats awful.

I came of ADs last year, am still on tramadol for sleeping, which isn't working now.
I need to see GP, am working 12hrs a day for the next 4 days

So no appointments available.

Its any little thing at the moment, i nearly ripped off the freezer door because it wouldn't close properly this morning.
Luckily no one was here, but it really upset me.
I keep getting that fight or flight feeling, over nothing.

[MotherMucca]

OTT can you not take time off work for medical appts.? It sounds like a good old chat with GP would be helpful.

[OTTMummA]

There is no.one.else. to cover according to my managers
I have told them that if i don't get my meds i could end up not being able to move, therefore not being able to come in at all for longer than the hour it would take for the appointment and travel etc.

" there is no one else to cover, and you have already agreed. " was the lovely response i got back.
I don't think they really listened to me.
Maybe it will teach them a lesson when i can't come in, because i know it will happen soon. I can't take much more, the pain is keeping me up most nights.
DH is good, a very good man, but i can't express anything negative about my emotions because he just doesn't understand, and that in turn makes me feel worse.
I don't want to explain my feelings and emotions to him so he can understand because he just never gets it.
I just tell him im not feeling well and we leave it at that.

[MotherMucca]

Three letters to your emloyer: DDA