to be pissed off that I ignored my better judgement?

[CrapBag]

Ok, I may be a bit PSB but I am still annoyed about it.

DD is only 4 weeks old, at my nans over the weekend and my aunt and cousin were there. Cousin came in and said she wasn't feeling well and she had had the previous day off college (she does take days off all the time though, bit of a hypochondriac). I asked her what was wrong and she said she felt sick and my aunt reckons she was getting a cold. I said (in a nice way) that she wouldn't be able to hold DD then as I didn't want her catching it, particularly as DH was returning to work 2 days later and I was going to be dealing with a toddler and newborn for the first time (I was panicking already a bit about this) and I have a long term health problem myself.

My grandad agreed with me although I could see this didn't go down well with aunt and cousin. Grandad went out then I had constant little hints about cousin holding DD, I ignored them. In the end aunt asked me outright which pissed me off as I had already made my position clear and ignored their not subtle hints and already said if cousin was feeling better the next day, then she could hold her. I felt that I was backed in a corner as my nan was also asking me so I gave in.

The next day, cousins facebook status said she felt really ill. At my nans I asked her (she didn't look ill) and she said she was exaggerating, although my nan said she had looked ill before she went to bed last night but looked much better today. Again I wasn't sure about her holding DD and said this to my cousin.

Later on, she came and asked me again, I gave in, walked into the front room and aunt asked me (in front of a whole room of other family, so I would have looked like a total bitch for saying no,) I already told her that cousin had asked and I said yes. Then D started getting fidgety as cousin doesn't hold her right and everytime you try and tell her, she still doesn't and aunt chips in with an impatient "oh shes ok".

I left the room as it was doing my head and I thought DD needed seeing to so I started getting bits ready for change and feed and I could hear aunt saying "oh let her keep hold of her" as I think my nan was going to bring her to me because she was starting to fuss.

It was time for us to go anyway so we did soon after but now, 2 days later, DD has a bloody cold (I know its not the end of the world, but to hear her poor little gravelly cough and snuffly nose). I knew I should have listened to my instincts but I felt they backed me into a corner and I don't like confrontation or when a few people are all there waiting for you to give them an answer whilst all looking, knowing that you don't want to but continue to ask anyway.

[potoftea]

Your dd may have caught the cold anyway just by breathing in the air, as I'm guessing that your cousin didn't slobber all over her.
But chalk it up to experience. Your family were very disrespectful of you and your wishes. They didn't need to agree with you, but should've accepted your rules for your dc.
You may learn from this experience and be more confident next time to do what you think is right, and not be bullied, but it is hard I know.

[Mumwithadragontattoo]

YANBU - you should have listened to your instincts. You need to stand up to your family to protect your children. It can be difficult though and they were being mean to pressurise you into letting your cousin hold the baby. Hope DD is feeling better soon.

[fanjolamps]

Haha what a rambling load of nonsense, just say no! NO No No its easy!

[CrapBag]

I know its easy. I just wish I was better at saying such a small word.

I went to my nans today and my other aunt phoned and my nan told her about DD not being well (her cough sounds really awful), she said she was going to tell me to stick to my guns on Saturday but she didn't (not sure why). I am a wimp but I have to get better when it comes to my children. Lesson will be learnt for another time (if there is).