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AIBU?

To dislike my neighbours?

20 replies

Butternutsquash22 · 20/02/2011 09:34

When i first moved into this flat, at 11pm we got banging on the ceiling, (which we ignored because I think it's very rude) and the had the woman upstairs asking if we could turn our tv down (was at a normal level) because 'it's Ramadan for us.'

I was a wee bit miffed because I was sort of thinking 'well that's nice but it's not Ramadan for me and I want to watch tv...' but didn't say anything and didn't want to ruffle any feathers so turned the tv off and went to bed.

We have since found out that they have some dry nosy children, which I don't mind too much, it just made me think they were a bit hypocritical for them to tell us of for making noice when so much noise comes from there flat.

But the final straw has been the fact that this is the third Sunday in a row that there have been builders making A hell of a noise starting from 7.30am on a Sunday. So am I being unreasonable to expect them to be accommodating to my Sunday if I have to be accommodating to their Ramadan? Note: just to be clear, it is not he Ramadan that I have an issue with, it's the fact that there's no give and take. They expect us to accommodate their religious beliefs without accommodating mine.

OP posts:

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Butternutsquash22 · 20/02/2011 09:35

Should read before posting from iPhone.... That's very noisy children, not dry nosy...

OP posts:

Hardandsleazy · 20/02/2011 09:36

What are dry nosy children? And why are builders not accommodating your religious beliefs- do you have prayer group or similar at home?

LoveBeingAKnockedUp · 20/02/2011 09:42

They expect us to accommodate their religious beliefs without accommodating mine.

In what way is a lie in on Sunday a religious belief?

GreenEyesandHam · 20/02/2011 09:42

I wish I had dry nosy children, wet nosy children is what I have

Leave the religious gubbins out of it, it's not relevant. Of course it's not unreasonable to expect your neighbours to show you the same consideration that they expected themselves.

Whether you 'like' them or not is completely up to you lol

kreecherlivesupstairs · 20/02/2011 09:50

giyadas · 20/02/2011 10:04

Speak to them. Point out that you were accomodating when they asked you to turn the noise down and you would like to be shown the same respect in return.
It's a respect issue not a religious one, and the way you've worded it will bring out all the nit-pickers. It also doesn't matter whether you like them or not, but you have to live next to each other so both of you should show consideration or everyone will end up miserable.

zombiemum · 20/02/2011 10:07

Er, Ramadan was back in August 2010, next Ramadan won't be until August 2011!

giyadas · 20/02/2011 10:08

or alternatively, have a

Butternutsquash22 · 20/02/2011 10:23

Yes i know when Ramadan is. I said 'when I moved into my flat' which happened to be then.

Oo a biscuit, just what I need to go with my cuppa!

I think I worded my post quite badly, sorry if I offended anyone, morning grump alert... I do see that the religion thing doesn't have any impact on the issue, and shouldn't have been mentioned. I'm not a morning person in my defence...

OP posts:

BootyMum · 20/02/2011 10:35

Think your neighbour was rude to bang on your ceiling. I hate this, we also had a neighbour who employed all sorts of passive aggressive behaviour [banging on ceiling, irritable notes under door] when they thought we had made too much noise. So much better if neighbours can speak face to face to iron out issues in a friendly considerate sort of way imo.
Would it be possible for you to pop downstairs and speak with neighbour so you can both discuss the problem, your expectations of each other and solutions for the mutual problem - noisy tv vs noisy children/building work?

giyadas · 20/02/2011 10:35

here have a . Then go and sort it out with your neighbours. Lose the morning grump first though.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 20/02/2011 10:47

The most tactful way to sort this would be to invite the Mum to your flat for a cuppa when her DCs are at their noisiest. Sound carries but unless you're in the same place, it's quite difficult to get an idea of just how loud things are.

brass · 20/02/2011 11:15

Check your local council's guidelines on building noise as in most places it's not allowed on a sunday. You would be well within your rights to ask them to stop especially so early in the morning!

You could be proactive and just pop round there and say 'look if you expect me to be courteous to you regarding noise then I expect the same in return.' Then state which of their noise you find disagreeable.

Don't be so quick to switch the tv off if they are uncooperative. The fact that they have banged on the ceiling means they are equally bothered by noise so there must be room for negotiation!

mummysweeangel · 20/02/2011 13:20

butternut, i dont think you did any harm by mentioning the Ramadam situation- you were onlt giving the full story, its always the same though, when people mention these type of things, some others jump down your throat and take things the complete wrong way

Anyway- YANBU, in my point of view. If i was having builders round on a weekend so early i would make the point of alerting my neighbours and apologising for any inconvenice etc - its nice to be nice- esepcially being that you were asked to turn your own TV off to accomdate their family

You watch your tv whenever you bloomin well feel like it

Edinburghlass · 21/02/2011 23:28

I think YAB slightly U to complain about the building works, because they are temporary. I'd be more concerned about the children.

nailak · 21/02/2011 23:32

have you asked them to stop building on sunday or to start building work later on sunday? i mean when they had an issue they came to you and asked you to turn tv down, why dont you just do the same?

Baffledandbewildered · 21/02/2011 23:49

If builders started at that time on a Sunday( which I don't think they are allowed to ) I would have to kill them and bury them in their own building site!!!! YANBU not at all

lololizzy · 22/02/2011 00:00

i feel for you, I have a very nasty irrational neighbour. Yours are being hypercrites, for sure...

expatinscotland · 22/02/2011 00:03

I would like to trade flats with you.

Now.

I like people who shut the hell up after 11PM.

You can have the drunks and drug-users who like to party all night.

Bring on the Muslims! Yay!

FabbyChic · 22/02/2011 00:04

You might wish to tell them that you are not allowed to start noisy building work that early during the week in a domestic property let alone at weekends. Contact your local environmental health department re noise levels for building work at weekends.

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