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AIBU?

To send dd to two different nurseries

20 replies

Vinegar · 14/01/2011 09:34

I am currently working two days a week. I work about one hours drive away from home and at present dd goes to nursery near where I work.
In a couple of months I will be working the remaining 3 days but from home.
When I work from home, I want to send dd to a nursery near home. However that would mean that she would go two full days to one nursery and three half days to another. I can't send her to the one near home on the days I go into the office, as I wouldn't be back in time to pick her up.
Dh thinks it will be confusing and unsettling, but I am hoping is is something she will hopefully get used to. They are two quite different types of nurseries too-one is Montessori the other not, though not sure if this makes any difference.
She will be doing this for a year, as she starts school next year.
Really not sure if this is a good idea or not.

OP posts:

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FabbyChic · 14/01/2011 09:36

She may well find it an enjoyable experience, you can only try it and see.

She will have two sets of friends rather than one.

Vinegar · 14/01/2011 09:40

Yes that's what I'm hoping Fabbychic. Was positive about it initially, but got the wobbles after speaking to dh.

OP posts:

curlymama · 14/01/2011 09:53

I think it depends entirely on your child, so you (and DH) are the person that is best placed to make this descision.

For some children it would be very unsettling and they would have a problem with it, but other children would take it in their stride and it would be a very enriching experience.

I think the fact that your child is already well settled at one nursery will help a great deal, it's not like she would be expected to start at two different nurseries at the same time.

I think the main thing would be to make sure that the two settings had a means of communiction, and that they used it, such as a home school book or simelar. If the two settings are prepared to be supportive and talk to your dc about the other, then it could work quite well.

mo3g · 14/01/2011 09:59

I did that with my 2 dd's they went to a private nursery when i worked 2 days and to pre school nursery 3 mornings when i was off they loved both nursery's and never had a problem at all with that arrangement.

Blackduck · 14/01/2011 10:03

Ds did this. Two days at the nursery at work with dp and three days at the local nursery when he was at home. Worked fine - but that may have been because they were very similar. The first second nursery (as it were) that we tried was a disaster - ds hated it - but I think that was because it was so different to what he was used to.

TheLemur · 14/01/2011 11:43

DS has 2 days at a childminder and 3 at nursery. He is fine with it (although prefers the CM!) I think they are very adaptable at this age.

Your DH is maybe projecting that HE would not like to be chopped and changed but he's got years of experience/knowledge that we tend to stay in one workplace/nursery for 5 days a week. Your DD does not have that entrenched view so it's never going to be an issue for her (if you see what I mean!)

exexpat · 14/01/2011 11:52

DD did three mornings at a Montessori and two full days at a more standard nursery when she was four. She much preferred the Montessori, as did I, but they only did morning sessions, which by the time I got here there and back, left me no time to get anything done, so I had to find somewhere offering full days as well.

She didn't seem too bothered by the different routines and friends at the different places. I think at least two days a week in each place is good though - if it was only one day, I think she'd be less likely to settle.

lalalonglegs · 14/01/2011 12:19

My dd2 did two days at a nursery I love and one day at the one her older brother was at (the first nursery wasn't right for him) - it was fine, no issues whatsoever. Unless the nurseries you are sending her to have very different agendas (one very play-based, one keen to get on with phonics or some such) then I don't see why it would be a problem.

Vinegar · 14/01/2011 13:08

Oh great thank you everyone, all positive experieces which is reassuring. Dd is shy, but she settled fairly quickly in her present nursery, so hopefully will in a second new environment.
exexppat, your situation seems exactly the same as mine, glad to know she liked the Montessori.
Dh has said he will leave the final decision to me, so I think I will go ahead with the two.

OP posts:

TennisFan · 14/01/2011 13:15

My DD went to 2 nurseries for a year, as one was only part time, but I wanted her to go to it so she could have a better chance of getting into the primary school attached. Then in the same day, she went to a private nursery/day care as i was in full time work.

She was age 3-4 at the time, and loved it. Agree she had 2 sets of friends which she has kept in touch with (she is age 7 now)

Mumwithadragontattoo · 14/01/2011 13:19

I guess in an ideal world you would just use one nursery. But if that isn't possible practically then using two is fine. Children often go to different groups and classes and make different sets of friends. This benefits them imo. Two nurseries would be similar I expect.

brimfull · 14/01/2011 13:20

yanbu
dd went to 2 and was fine

QuickLookBusy · 14/01/2011 13:23

My DD2 did this, 3 mornings at a small nurset then 1 morning at a larger one. I did it because I wanted her to have different experiences and to meet other children. We live out in the countryside, so felt this was important.

I'm sure she will really enjoy it.

QuickLookBusy · 14/01/2011 13:24

Nursery not nurset!

QuintessentialShadows · 14/01/2011 13:30

My ds did this. 3 days a week in one nursery, 2 days a week in another (Montessori). Then he started crying when we came to the nursery he had been the longest. He was very happy at the new nursery, and suddenly liked the Montessori one better. I ended up moving him full time to the Montessori nursery, as in the end it got so bad he started crying if we drove past the road where the old nursery was!!

LittleMarshmallow · 14/01/2011 13:34

I had to do this last year with ds then 3, but he went to one nursery mon all day, tue - fri afternoons only, then the other nursery the rest of the mornings, he coped fine and enjoyed having two sets of friends :) it was only for a couple of months in my case as I was waiting for a full time place in the first nursery to become available.

It depends on what your dd is like personality wise, ds although at times shy will get one with things once I left and so enjoyed him self.

Vinegar · 14/01/2011 14:00

Oh dear Quintessentialshadows I have to keep my fingers crossed and hope that doesn't happen. That was one of my concerns, that dd might favour one nursery over the other, it will be especially bad if she goes off her original nursery and prefers the Montessori one.
I think I'll just have to see how it goes-it seems the majority have had good experiences, so I'll have to hope for the same - thanks everyone for sharing experiences.

OP posts:

Eddas · 14/01/2011 14:11

My ds goes to 2 different pre-schools, has done since Sept 2010. I do this so that my childcare bill is cheaper(he became funded in Sept).

I think for the first few weeks he got a little confused by the different routine at the 2nd pre-school because he'd been at the 1st for a year and they work differently, eg snack time at 1st pre-school he takes his own healthy snack but at the 2nd pre-school they ask parents to provide either fruit/veg or bread type things and the children share.

The first week or so ds didn't eat his snack at the 2nd pre-school because he obviously didn't understand why he didn't have his own snack box but he got used to it after a week or so and now eats along with others.

Children are great with change, it's us adults who worry.

Sometimes we have to do what's best for us as adults, which is what I had to do, I tried to come up with a plan so that ds could attend his 1st nursery every day but it just wasn't going to work. He is very happy with his 2 different pre-schools now.

WhistlersMum · 14/01/2011 14:28

I did this as a child and it didn't do me any harm :) The main thing about the nursery near your home is that the children there may well go to the same school as dd and it will be good to be able to tell her that x and y will be there too on her first day.

FreudianSlipIntoMyLaptop · 14/01/2011 14:38

Try it! Works brilliantly for my DD (3.6)

Just before she turned 3 in summer, we started her at a private daycare two afternoons a week for socialising and to allow me to study. It reduced in price last September due to funding kicking in, and she also got 3 sessions at a community Playgroup (free due to funding)

So she does something every day, and they are two totally different settings. The daycare centre is set out in different rooms, they get meals etc, young staff. The playgroup is a big hall, older ladies running it.

She is very happy at both! I love the fact that they're so different, it gives her variety.

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