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AIBU?

in thinking that 4 days in London will be too much for my 2yr old?

73 replies

AllHailDaddyPig · 05/01/2011 10:29

I am aware I might seem rather PFB about this, but I need opinions - I'll happily be told I'm being silly.

My DH has planned a trip for us to go to London for 4 days in Feb. My DD turns 2 at the end of this month, and she's very reliant on her routine - as I'm sure most toddlers are. She is very fussy about things, and doesn't cope well with change/unexpected things...she gets really upset if you try and change things. I do persevere though, I just pick my battles.

Even over christmas, with the routine only changing a little (we spent a lot of time having meal out, visiting people at times we normally wouldnt), and she really struggled with it. She was tearful, over tired and not herself, it affected her sleep as well.

So I am worried about this trip. Given that christmas was enjoyable, and she was surrounded by familiar people/toys/places, she still found it really hard and I was surprised at how much it affected her. So surely London would be much worse, DH wants to do all the sightseeing and has a very detailed list of all the things he wants to do...there are lots of things I want to see as well but I just think that poor DD would hate it, she would be so bored wouldnt she? DH doesnt seem to understand that she won't be interested in all the landmarks! And she won't have any familiarity/routine at all, and I am really worried about how this will affect her, and ultimately if it's worth it?

DH keeps saying 'Oh it'll be fine, we'll work it out' but yet he doesn't want to have a 2 hr birthday party for her as it might 'overwhelm her' Hmm

Obviously I know, it wouldn't be the end of the world, and she'd be basically ok, but is it really worth it? Just doesn't seem like it's going to be very fun for her and she is going to miss her routine. As I said, I like to pick my battles, and don't want to go if it will be too much for her.

Thankyou in advance, I know I probably seem very precious but please be kind Grin

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WimpleOfTheBallet · 05/01/2011 10:35

Yes you are being a bit PFB about it. DD will be fine as long as she is fed and watered and in bed at a decent time.

I had to take mine right across the world a few times between the ages of 2 months and 3 years...30 hour journeys...not a problem.

It will be worth it too...one of our best memories is taking DD 1 to London and watching her dance to live music in Trafalgar Square...not to mention taking her to some lovely little cafe's and parks.

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AllHailDaddyPig · 05/01/2011 10:38

Thankyou.
I'd love to go, I've wanted to go to London for a long time, so it's not that I wouldn't be interested. I'm just worried that when we return home, it will be back to square 1 and her whole routine will be forgotten? Am I being ridiculous?? Smile

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Ooopsadaisy · 05/01/2011 10:39

Don't forget, millions of children grow up for 16 years in London and it's not too much for them!

So long as food, drink, sleep and shelter are provided she'll be fine.

I understand your concern about upsetting routines though but children are incredibly adaptable - don't under-estimate her!

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slug · 05/01/2011 10:40

I remember reading a bit of research a few years ago which looked at children from families both with and without cars. (This was in NZ where car ownership is pretty widespread). Children from car owning families had measurably higher IQs by the time they got to primary school than the ones from non-car owning families. As car ownership is no, in NZ, an indicator of social class, they hypothisied that children whose parents owned cars were exposed to a wider range of experiences in the pre school years and this impacted on their IQs.

Routine isn't everything. We took a heavily routine dependant DD to Barcelona aged 15 weeks. She coped. She simply fell asleep, at her normal time, wherever she was. I have lovely pictures of her fast asleep in the Baby Bjorn, strapped to DH.

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BornToFolk · 05/01/2011 10:40

I understand your concerns but she might cope better than you think. A total change of scene and routine might actually be better than things changing slightly at home, IYKWIM.

However, dragging a bored/tired toddler round lots of sightseeing is not going to be fun for anyone...

Personally, I'd go for it but try and include activites that your DD will enjoy and plan for meal/snack breaks and a chance for her to nap (am presuming she still does!)

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friedtoacrisp · 05/01/2011 10:41

You owe it to your child's future stability to encourage a love of new places and experiences. Routine has it's place but it is not and should not be the be all and end all of life.

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Rindercella · 05/01/2011 10:43

My DD1 gets hysterical a little upset if I give her the wrong bowl for breakfast Shock She's 3 now and has gotten a little better with time, but at 2 she was as OCD as they come, so I do have some sympathy with you.

So my advice is to take familiar things with you - the sort of things you know will comfort DD and give her a sense of security. Try to go with the flow and not be too rigid in your sightseeing plans. If she gets tired, then skip a particular landmark.

But make the most of it and enjoy it...it's amazing the memories they can have - DD1 remembers things she did on holiday when she was 20 months old.

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MorticiaAddams · 05/01/2011 10:43

I'm all for new experiences for children but four days of sightseeing sounds a bit ambitious for a 2 year old.

Pugsley and Wednesday have always been very adaptable but at that age I'm sure they wouldn't have been at all interested in most of the sights your dh is probably wanting to visit.

As an aside, I made a laminated chart for them when they went to Nursery to show them what they were doing each day. I put the days of the week on and seperated it into morning, lunch and afternoon and also laminated clipart pictures of things they did such as nursery, playing with friends, swimming, etc which I updated each week. It worked well when they were younger and had no real concept of time.

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smallwhitecat · 05/01/2011 10:44

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Nanc123 · 05/01/2011 10:48

hi we live in London and have a 2 1/2 year old - its not really London but the change of routine that you are worried about I think?

I would advise going because if your child never experiences anything out of the routine it could hold her back from fully participating in valuable activities.

I would say that some of the tube is buggy friendly but most not - plan your routes and also definately visit the science museum (bottom floor for pre schoolers especially) and the princess diana memorial playground in hyde park both free and great for that age - I would say go but plan your days around travelling without stress - buses during the day are normally OK - you can often wheel your buggy straight onto to the buses in london but have to put it down if already buggies on there.

walking planning and fun - if you look at the tube map for disabled people the stations with wheelchairs on them have lifts

have fun!

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cunexttuesonline · 05/01/2011 10:52

We are planning a trip to London in the next few months with DS who is 23 mo at the moment.

He has been away quite a few times already including a 10 day cruise. his routine gets disrupted, however I find that within a few days of being home it is back to normal.

We are only going to places which will be of interest to all of us. probably - the london eye, an open top bus tour (DS LOVES buses), the science museum, Harrods, Hamleys and Hyde park. I am going to check out some good places to eat that are child friendly. if possible we will rent an apartment for the few nights instead of a hotel, as that means that DH and I don't have to be silent from whenever DS falls asleep. We did this in Ireland and it worked perfectly.

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AllHailDaddyPig · 05/01/2011 10:54

Thanks for all of the replies! Some realy useful things mentioned.

Yes, it's more about the change in routine than London itself, although I'm concerned that she'll be bored by the things DH wants to do, and she won't have much chance just to rest and play.

And also, it took a long time for her to become settled in her own bedroom, and I'm worried that sharing a bedroom with her while we are away will put us back at square one??

Thankyou for the advice on places to go, and about the buggies. I'll make a note of that. It's true that I know she'll be alright, but I want her to actually enjoy it as well.

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Laquitar · 05/01/2011 10:55

Just relax and enjoy it. She will too.

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Rafi · 05/01/2011 11:00

Giraffes are good - scattered all over the place, decent food, reasonable prices & very child friendly.

Our DD loved this.

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Ooopsadaisy · 05/01/2011 11:04

Agree she won't want to look round museums and architecture but there are the most wonderful parks. Aquarium, boat rides, zoo etc.

Open upper deck of London buses was a big hit with my dcs when I used to take my dcs home to "where Mummy grew up".

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Sullwah · 05/01/2011 11:04

We have travelled extensively with our routine dependant toddler twins.

They have always been fine. And back to routine as soon as we get home.

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SlightlyJaded · 05/01/2011 11:05

Hmm bait PFB but I get it. I have an OCD 3 year old who sobs uncontrollably if there is a dent in any packaging, a mark on any toy and needs to be in bed at 7 or he is miserable. However, he has always adapted to and coped well with trips. We drove to Spain for 5 weeks this year - the DCs were in the car for 2 days each way - no problem. And all holidays have always been fine - they adapt their routines more easily than you think.

And bored? I am a Londoner and think it's a great city for kids so really depends what your DH has on his list. Yes she will probably be bored after a minute in St Paulson cathedeeral but a walk up the South Bank on a Sat or Sun afterenoon will put that right - aquarium, zoos, petting zooms, holland park playgournd, Ravenscourt Park, Deer in Richmond Park, Science Museum (fab for her age, they have a toddlers bit in the basement, A trip on the DLR... And lots of child friendly restaurants etc

Have a look at the Visit London website and try to balance your DHs wish list with some light relief for DD.

She will be fine

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SlightlyJaded · 05/01/2011 11:06

And sorry for typos. iPad with stupid predictive text. Except it can't predict

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Sarsaparilllla · 05/01/2011 11:07

Could you include a trip to London zoo while you're there? We took my DN (2.5) to the zoo recently and he adored it

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slug · 05/01/2011 11:07

Wanksock (somehow feel embarassed typing that name) take your DS on the DOcklands Light Railway (the DLR). The joy of them, for vehicle obsessed youngsters, is they are driverless, so you can sit in the very front and pretend to drive the train yourself. The DLR will take you out to Greenwich which as a mahoosive park, a good playground, a market ont he weekends and the Observatory where you can touch a real metorite and other such child friendly experiences.

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LIZS · 05/01/2011 11:09

Sounds as if this worry is more about you than her. Why does it matter if her usual routine goes out the window for a bit - she's only 2 ? Maybe it suits you more than her and this will be an opportunity to try variations and see how flexible she can be? Young children love London, even just to ride on a red bus and see the scale of things, and you'll be able to plan activities at a relaxed pace, when it isn't so busy, then eat early and get her to bed while you and dh sip wine in the room .

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oohlalaaaa · 05/01/2011 11:14

Hi, we took our 2 year old to London on a 3 day trip last year and was amazed at how much (mainly free!) things that both you and toddlers will enjoy! Definately second the science museum, dd loved it. She loves running around trafalgar square, eating noodles and sitting on the bike/ seat things at Camden market. We went to the aquarium, on the London eye and also visited the natural history museum, loads of interactive stuff for them to do! When dd got tiredshe conked out in her buggy, she never really sleeps whilst we are out normally. We just tried to make sure she got enough naps and wasnt stuck in her buggy too much, getting an early night helped too and we had a fab time!

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mrsgboring · 05/01/2011 11:19

I think you need to unpack in your mind how much of this is concern for DD's feeling out of routine and how much is your own concern about how much work it's going to create for you, both on the trip and afterwards if you think there may be backsliding on a routine etc. It's perfectly valid to be concerned about your own workload as well as DD, but you won't be able to think straight about it unless you disentangle the two issues and think honestly about them.

I have to say I love trips to London and so do my DCs. They are good at travelling and often love the supposedly stressful aspects of it best of all. Mind you we're not particularly routine-bound and co-sleep so room sharing isn't an issue for us.

For our family, the golden rules are there must be good and plentiful things to eat at regular intervals, and each day must be planned to have something for the children in mind. It doesn't have to be a park or a children's attraction though - something like Tate Modern is great for wandering around in provided you provide some basic crowd control (you and DH would have to take turns to actually be able to stop and look at the art - or just enjoy seeing what DD takes you to, even if it's door handles and fire extinguishers Grin)

You have to be prepared to change your plans on the hoof a bit (she is bound to hate at least one activity you choose especially for her) and budget plenty for diving into cafes for emergency cake. You will not get nearly as much sightseeing done as you expect but IME that is almost always true of any holiday. You will still have a great time, even though it will be much more knackering and less high-achieving than trips pre-DCs.

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mrsgboring · 05/01/2011 11:21

Oh and DO IT NOW - City trips are so much easier pre-potty training

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classydiva · 05/01/2011 11:22

I think you have to get children used to your lifestyle, they have to be able to adapt or you make a rod for your own back.

Seems to me it is you that does not want to go.

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