That my dh doesn't tell me he is flying out at the weekend?

[Bluebell99]

I knew my dh was going to the usa next week with work. He told me weeks ago he was going on Monday. I have just asked him about his flights as I still don't know when he is going or coming back, and he has just said that he is flying out on Sunday at 3, so will be leaving here at midday and he has known for over a week but didnt want to tell me. Am I being unreasonable to be furious that he is ruining another weekend and he didn't bother to say? He is often away on business with work, and often doesnt get back until 2pm on Saturday. I am really pissed off.
And also as a sad aside, I really want to attend a memorial service next week for a lovely lady who has died from breast cancer, but won't be able to, as have not childcare.

[stoppingat3]

So sorry to hear about your friend, Cancer is a f**ker.

I could have written this a few years ago but to be honest I made the decision to accept it. I did used to get cross with the lack of consultation but it happened so often that it was a waste of emotion.

Dh STILL tells me he's going at x time, when what he means is that the plane takes off at x, he actually gets picked up 4 hours earlier - this has effected sooooo many plans I cannot tell you.

However knowing that he is such a knob busy person I now question question question to get all the facts in advance.

I also demand a present if he is away on a weekend

Again so sorry about your friend, it may be a nice idea to do something by yourself (or with DC) when the memorial service is going ahead - My Gran did this when a lifelong friend of hers was burried and physically she couldn't be there. It helped her

[Bluebell99]

Thank you for your message. That is exactly it, he is going at 3, which is the latest flight, but that actually means 11!

And he didn't tell me!!

Thank you for your understanding post.

It is really sad about my friend. She was a really lovely upbeat, creative, fun person, and was only in her late thirties.

[GailFawkes]

Oh Bluebell9 so sorry about your friend, that's so sad

My DH is a bit like this. He just tells me his week, when he's away, when he will be back and I am expected to revolve family life around it. Like stoppinat3 I have given up getting upset and cross about it and just get on with it. Saves so much emotion!

[Hedgeblunder]

Oh bluebell, sorry to hear about your friend :( she sounds like she was a wonderful person.
My DP works away alot too- frustrating isn't it!! I do the same as a previous poster-presents!!! It does make things easier I promise. I'm sorry I can't help more- perhaps he could just write it sown on a calender asap and you could check it and have your dates clear?

[mummyofexcitedprincesses]

Having a DH who works away a lot can be pretty crappy sometimes. He needs to keep you informed more, maybe put things on a wall planner?

So, so sorry about your friend. What part of the country are you in? I would have your child for a few hours, as would any number of mumsnetters. I know you don't know me from Adam, but lots of us are teachers/childcare professionals.

[Bluebell99]

That is kind of you mummyofexcitedprincesses. :-) I do have a couple of friends who would probably have my children for me, if I asked.

But it would mean my ds would have to miss going to his favourite activity because my friends wouldn't be able to take him, and although he would be alright about missing it, it is something he looks forward to all week. If my dh was here, he would be able to take my ds while I went to the memorial service.

Maybe I will ask my friends to have the children, and go. I would like to go.

[mummyofexcitedprincesses]

You should go, it is important to you. I'm sure your son wouldn't mind missing his activity if you did something else with him another time. But I still understand why you feel cross and frustrated at your DH's lack of communication RE his travel plans.

[Bluebell99]

Thanks, I will ask my friend tomorrow. I might even be able to go to the service and then get back to take my ds.