to cry on the drive home

[youngersister]

felt very sorry for myself and not a little bit angry at the question my sister asked me as I dropped her off at the airport today.

She asked me if I could get help decluttering my house as she thought it was getting too full (turns out she finds it hard to rest while staying in my house as it is too clutered.)

I'm off work with chronic illness and my dh has taken on my half of the work. He is an absolute darling and already gets up every morning to get the kids off to school, he does all the washing and often cooks. He is messy, but I feel I should accept this as he already does so much.

I spend my energy tidying one room a day if I can, but I also help look after my dad who lives across the street, spend time with friends, especially if they are having a hard time.

I get no help from my wider family, in laws never come over unless to take us out to lunch), Mum lives 12 hours away and visits once a year but is usually too tired to help.

AIBU to be upset at what she said, should I see her point that she finds it too messy (as I do too, but its my house and I have learned to live with it)

The House is clean, my pension pays for a wonderful lady who cleans it well.

[TattyDevine]

YANBU, tell her to butt out or come over and muck in!

[SheWillBeLoved]

Why does she stay at your house? Say to her "Great idea, when are you free to help?", cheeky mare.

[SuePurblybilt]

You have chronic illness problems and you're letting her stay and driving her to airports. And she's complaining?
Tell her to put all she's saved towards one of those de-clutter women for you.

[TheSkiingGardener]

How rude! Especially as she knows you are not up to whizzing about with a Hoover all day right now and have more important things going on anyway.

If she wants to visit she takes the hospitality graciously or stays elsewhere. Poor you.

[traceybath]

Well assuming she's basically a nice person with good intentions perhaps she is worried about you.

How cluttered/messy is your house? I find clutter stressful and get rather depressed if living in a mess - sounds to me as though she's worried about you.

As I say though I am assuming she is a nice person.

[youngersister]

She is a nice person, I want her to stay so we can get the cousins together.

I do sometimes find it stressful, but with CBT am learning to let it go :)

Do also feel i give more out to her than I get back...

[eaglewings]

Did she say anything nice about your home that you hang onto instead?

Hard way to leave your sister at the airport, hope you feel better about things soon

[LittleMissHissingFirecracker]

IS your house over cluttered? Do you have impeded use of the house, or is she being picky?

If the latter, please ignore.

Has she always told you what to do?

[youngersister]

Thank you for your helpful comments. Feeling more positive today, it is good to hear that
even if she is trying to be helpful she was a rude mare (love that phrase)

In a sitting room with very little cluter now, only 1 thing on the floor that shouldn't be - so I think it may be more her problem than mine!

[thisisyesterday]

she isn't complaining... she is offering to help!

why not take her offer in the way it was intended and let her help?

gosh, people are so quick to judge and be rude on here. ok, she may not have been very tactful, but if it is very cluttered, and if you could use some help sorting it out then i fail to see that there is a problem at all!

i remember a thread on here a while back where someone was pondering whtehr to offer to help clear her friend's house out which was in a terrible state.
everyone said she should just do it.

damned if you do and damned if you don't

[eaglewings]

Not sure op said sister offered help, also she said the house isn't that bad?

[diddl]

TBH, how you have your house is up to you-unless you have to kick things out of the way to get from room to room!

And she´s thinking about herself as she "can´t sleep".

I think she was really rude.

And what is "clutter"?

I have shelves with books, photo, ornaments.

I´m sure some would find that clutter-but I like it & I live here!

[chipmonkey]

But thisisyesterday, the sis didn't offer to help, she said the OP should get help, which under the circumstances sounds very cheeky.

[thisisyesterday]

omg i am sorry, i totally misread it! i read it as "she asked me if she could help"

yes... in that case totally agree with everyone else!!!!