to think this couple are being utterly petty and childish

[thefruitwhisperer]

A long story.

I fell out with my friend and her husband around 2 years ago. We have lots of mutual friends and her husband is/was in a band with some of them.

She has never openly asked anyone to choose, and neither have I, however she often sends them text messages, writes things on facebook etc about how let down she is by them (this is not in relation to our falling out, but to other things they have supposedly done. I dont know what they are as I dont get involved). She never mentions any of this in real life however.

Last year the band had had enough and broke up. This was partly in response to her husband saying he wouldnt play if any of them invited me along to the gigs. I wasnt actually going to this particular one anyway as she was pregnant and I didnt want to upset her. Plus I had a holiday booked. But she had looked me up on Facebook and my status mentioned something about looking forward to the weekend. Thinking it was in reference to the gig, her husband ordered everyone to not invite me. Other reasons are that he is fairly volatile and it just wasnt working for them anymore.

Ive learned that she still thinks I intended to go and often makes reference to the friends who told her to calm down and back off as being 'those ill bred horrible people who upset me when I was pregnant'.

Fast forward to this year. Our friends are in another band and still using some equipment they bought together in the old band. This couple threatened to come down to the halloween gig (hosted by my partner) and take back the said equipment so the new band couldnt play.

Am I the only one thinking that perhaps, to avoid all this in future, people should just ignore her? Im 8 months pregnant now and the palaver at the weekend was pretty tiresome. Im not going to say 'she upset me when I was pregnant' in a prima donna way because I wasnt upset, and if they had wanted to come to the gig and actually watch, then fair enough! I dont own the band or any public space, so they are free to come along.

AIBU to think perhaps they arent over this, and now its all a bit childish and petty? Shes also emailed me wishing me all the best with the baby so I think its all a bit really.

[giveitago]

How I hate facebook.

I find this story bonkers? How old are you all?
Your mutual friends can do what they want but for you - stay away and don't look her up on facebook and block her.

Congrats on pregnancy and when born you won't have the time anyhow.

[booyhoo]

the whole thing sounds petty. the band should just the current value of his share of the equipment (if he chipped in) and then they will have no hold over the band. as for you and DP. ignore ignore ignore. roll your eyes if you must when you hear things about her but don't get yourself annoyed in being snidey or immature.

[cheesesarnie]

sounds very childish.
why did you fall out in the first place?

[thefruitwhisperer]

We do generally roll our eyes. But this weekend I just thought, honestly, coming to take back the equipment when they havent needed it for a year, and without any notice is just so crap.

I dont actually look her up - I hear a fair amount from friends but Ive tried to not really get involved. This weekend was a bit different in that it was my partners event and he needed the band to play.

[cheesesarnie]

sell the equipment and get new stuff

[saffy85]

I have to ask, why did you fall out in the first place? This couple need to grow up. "They upset me when I was pregnant!"

[mozette]

Get your privacy settings sorted on Facebook so she can't see anything you write on your wall. That will solve lots of problems.

[thefruitwhisperer]

Thought I had! And after that I certainly did!

[Hullygully]

Have you asked them if they swing? It can be very healing.

[cheesesarnie]

hully

[thefruitwhisperer]

I think swinging is what started this in the first place! I upset her and was not a very nice friend - Im willing to take the flack. Her husband and I had a snog before they were married, a long long time ago and she found out.

You can see why she hates me, I deserve and understand that - but the fact its overflowing onto everyone else after all this time is the thing thats getting me now.

[Hullygully]

The Thick Plotens.

[Hullygully]

I feel we will need th efull story.

[cheesesarnie]

were they together?

[Hullygully]

[thefruitwhisperer]

Thats pretty much it! She and I fell out, and of course I dont talk to him anymore.

[pjmama]

Remain dignified and don't rise to any of it, how it affects the rest of your friends is not your problem unless you perpetuate it by getting drawn back into the debate. If they carry on like that it sounds like they'll be falling out with the rest of the mutual friends too anyway.

[Hullygully]

That is quite the dullest story EVER.

Couldn't you embroider a little?

[SixtyFootDoll]

I think you should all go on Jeremy Kyle and air your differences there.

[saffy85]

Oooh. You must be a waaayyy better kisser than her if she's still holding a grudge.

[ShatnersBassoon]

DNA! DNA! DNA!

[Hullygully]

When you say "snog" was there a bit of groping as well?

[CerealParliamentaryArsonist]

lol (no really) at hully

[Hullygully]

She's goen all huffy now. We want the low down.