To ask my friend NOT to see her boyfriend when she is sitting for me?

[mosschops30]

dc's godmother is having them this weekend for an overnight whilst me and dh go away.

She is seeing this horrible man at the moment, I dont know why shes with him, she previously dumped him for laughing at someone with special needs in the park (this is a grown man in his 40's ffs), plus my friend works with special needs children so have no idea why she's back with him, she says because its better than being lonely and for the sex.

When Ive met him he barely speaks, he makes me very uncomfortable and I dont want him round the dcs as I know nothing about him really.

So AIBU and how do I broach this with her, when shes doing me a favour?

[bigchris]

Yabu
I'd cancel the trip or find someone else to look after the kids
you cant dictate who she has in her own home but you can alter your arrangements

[Chil1234]

If you're getting a friend to do a favour I don't think you can start adding conditions to it like 'provided your boyfriend isn't around'. If you don't like the current boyfriend, don't leave your child in her care

[A1980]

Why don't you suggest she stays at your home with the kids.

If it's your home then it's totally accpetable to say she cannot invite him over. It is you house afterall.

[saffy85]

I wouldn't leave my DC with someone if there was a chance the person looking after them would invite another person round who I didn't want near my DC.

[Sarsaparilllla]

Agree with the others, if you aren't happy with him potentially being around you should find someone else to have the kids for the weekend.

[mosschops30]

sorry forgot to add, she is having the kids at our house and not at hers

[DurhamDurham]

If she's having your children at your house then tell her he can't stay. However if you feel she might go against this I would cancel weekend away or get another sitter. Pointless going if you spend whole time woorying more than you need to. Trust your instincts, you don't like him for a reason.

[mosschops30]

I dont think she will go against this, and tbh I dont think it would cross her mind to ask him over here.
But how do I get this across without it causing a problem, although she is well aware of how I feel about him

[fruitstick]

Have they met him before? I would just say very politely that one of your DCs is a sensitive sort and you would rather not have men they didn't know staying in their house.

I think that is perfectly reasonable.

[DurhamDurham]

Just say your children are so looking forward to spending some time with her, tell her you've bought something nice for her dinner, make it sound like you are not expecting anyone else to come.

Just to be sure though I would have say something, maybe about your child being shy and not wanting to see her boyfriend.

[Serendippy]

YABU, if she is doing you such a big favour as having your DCs overnight (which is a HUGE favour) and is going to be staying in your house for your DC's benefit, she should not necessarily on top of this be expected to spend the entire evening alone.

YANBU to ask someone else to do it. Depends how much you want to go away.

(If you don't want her, can I please have her? She can have her BF at mine, anything for a night away!)

[TattyDevine]

Is she actually planning on seeing him? Because it might be a non-issue.

[Serendippy]

As an add on, you would not be unreasonable to ask if she minded not having her BF over. If she did mind, the above applies.