New neighbours have moved in and I finally plucked up the courage to speak to the husband about a week ago. He seemed nice and normal, but I am always very nervous of these things. I become very anxious and find it very difficult to make conversation with people. So it was quite a big deal for me to talk for a length of time and actually give information about myself.
Anyway, I later found out that he is the cousin of a person I really don't like. His aunt and cousin are really not nice people and have attempted to cause problems for me in the past, depsite the fact that they barely know me. They're the kind of people who feed off the misery of others and actively attempt to cause drama and upset in their lives. They've even attempted to stir up trouble between me and my ex over the fact that they saw my son with my current partner. I think they were hoping for a violent outburst because my partner had the nerve to spend time with my son. My ex's mother was in, at the very least, an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. This man refused to ever even acknowledge that I was present and would do things such as lie down on the settee if I walked into the room, even when I was heavily pregnant, meaning that I couldn't sit down. They pretended to be her friends her but were secretly contacting him and bitching about her. I really can't describe what vile people they are. I know that a lot of this information seems unnecessary but I want to explain why I can't just allow these people to casually become involved in my life again, as any involvement is likely to cause hassle for me.
I was very, very upset and panicked. My partner told me to calm down but I really do not want these people anywhere near my family. I thought that I'd completely erased them from my life when I no longer had to be in contact with his family or their friends. I did eventually calm down and realise that he may be entirely different to his family. However, as a precaution, I thought that it would be best if I didn't give him any information I thought they could use. Perhaps just chat to him without telling him anything more about myself, to see whether I thought I could trust him. My partner then started telling me that I was prejudiced because I'm treating him differently based on something he cannot change. I suppose that technically, this is a prejudice, but I'm far more concerned about looking out for myself and my son. I'm really quite annoyed that he's so concerned about me doing the 'right' thing (acting as though I don't know he's connected to this family), when cooling it off and taking it slowly wouldn't hurt anybody and would guarantee that I wouldn't get dragged back into a world of shit I had to work quite hard to get away from.
So AIBU to back away from them and expect my partner to support me in this?
AIBU?
AIBU to be cautious of my new neighbours?
starsareshining · 31/10/2010 20:02
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Why would you want to give your neighbours any details about yourself at all? My neighbours know absolutely nothing about me and I couldn't care less about what they're up to. I still smile and say hello and have a very general chat with one of them but it's more "oh, you're cleaning the pavement in the rain?", not "I'm 8 months pregnant, have PGP and my foof hurts like hell".
By the way, it's not me cleaning the pavement! 
It sounds to me like you feel a little bit lonely where you live. Isn't there any other place you could try to make some friends? Local park, library, etc? Why not try to meet some other mums through here or Netmums (sorry Mumsnet) 
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I'm an awful, prejudiced cow 
in that respect that I don't like people in RL asking me personal questions, it always gets my back up. And then when sometimes I do say a little bit more, I very often regret it as people suddenly think that it gives them a green light to ask impertinent questions.
Good for you you plucked your courage to speak to your neighbour in the first place, even if there won't be any long term friendship. What's important that you did something that you were afraid off, just use it as an exercise and next time you'll be more confident chatting to other people.
Hope you're feeling better with time, at least you have your partner to support you and friends will come along the way.
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