to think my male colleagues just don't get it sometimes?

[kveta]

not talking about sex, although that's undoubtedly the case for some of them.

I don't think they quite grasp the concept of a working mother. Many of them have wives who are SAHMs, with small babies and children at home. I have 1 baby/toddler (depending on how cute he's being) and work part time hours - 9-3 M-F.

One colleague turned to me yesterday and said he was knackered because his 5 month old had been up all night. I sympathised and said 'yes, it's exhausting, isn't it? hopefully she'll sleep better tonight!' and then mentioned that DS had slept badly too, so I was a bit tired as well. whereupon he said 'oh, it's alright for you, you can sleep when the baby sleeps!'

cue my response of and 'what?!' so he said, 'that's what my wife does'. I gently pointed out that his wife was AT HOME on maternity leave, so that's why she can sleep when baby sleeps...

I've had similar comments from male colleagues with young children - things like 'why do you have to take the morning off when your child is sick - I don't have to when mine is ill!'

I don't think they mean it maliciously, but they are just a wee bit clueless. so am I being unreasonable to think this?

[SolidGoldBrass]

No YANBU at all. Keep politely but firmly pointing it out to them that their wives are people , not their own personal service mechanisms.

[LynetteScavo]

1)Men are clueless.


or


2) Men think women are magicians.





Take you pick.

[MaudOHara]

What SGB said

[kveta]

:o at lynettescavo - I think 1 is probably closest to the mark!!

[MrsC2010]

Sleep when the baby does?! DH made the mistake of saying this to me (with the best of intentions...) but can someone tell me how this works? My 8 wk old DD has yet to sleep for longer than 20 mins at a stretch during the day!

[nancydrewrocked]

Alternatively when they ask "why do you have to have the time off work" perhaps they are wondering why your DP doesn't pull his weight and take his share of time off....or perhaps not.

[kveta]

my DH does his fair share of looking after DS when he's ill - has taken a couple of days off when I've been very busy in the past. He is not at all at fault here! And he agrees that my colleagues seem to think their wives are servants by the sounds of things!

[nancydrewrocked]

Calm down kveta. No one is blaming your DH.

I am not sure how expecting your SAH Wife to, er SAH when the baby is sick is treating them like a servant but there you go.

They just sound a bit thoughtless.

[AMumInScotland]

If he suggests "sleeping when the baby does" again, how about putting your head down on the desk for a bit, saying "I'm sure the baby will be sleeping for the next 2 hours, so don't disturb me" and see if he can spot the logical error in his statement...

[TryLikingClarity]

Sleeping when the baby sleeps sounds like a great idea, but doesn't always work in practice.

What about getting housework done? Getting something to eat or a cup of tea? What about just having some time to zone out watching TV when DC is asleep?

When DS was a newborn he slept about 20 mins at a time so there was no way I'd get any sleep. I'd just have climbed into bed and he would have woken up.

OP - YANBU. I'd be really frustrated having to explain to those men. They are in for a big surprise when their wives return to work, if that happens.