When to have no2

[Hai1988]

Hi not sure were to put this but thought i;d post it here.

I really want another child but not sure when the best time is??

I have 1 DS who is 4.10 5 in September when he will also being starting reception, will doing half days until January when he will be full time.

I am thinking this is a good age gap but atm DS's behaviour hasn't been the best he is becoming quite "naughty" Hitting ppl, talking back and not listening ect...

Some ppl have told me that a sibling could make his behaviour better and that when he starts school that will help too, but with DS behaviour the way he is atm it is really making me think should I have another.

What do you reckon??

[Firawla]

you never know his behaviour could have improved naturally anyway by the time you ttc and have another child, it could be a yr or atleast it wil b 9-10 months so that is quite a long time, a lot can change. i wouldn't put it off due to that behaviour reason personally, you can still try 2 help him with his behaviour while you have another baby too if he still needs it

[Jasonthunderpants]

I think 2-3 years is a good age gap . you dont want too big an age gap so you better get cracking

[Hai1988]

Jason, could I just ask why you think a big age gap could be a problem ??

[Meglet]

There are pro's and con's for every age gap.

You're very young, but if you have another one sooner rather than later you will have more time to consider a 3rd dc / study / return to work.

22 months between mine, but I was in my early 30's so I wasn't going to wait.

[Hai1988]

ok thanks, it wasnt really a age gap problem i was thinking about tho, it was Jason who brought that up.

It was more the behavour issue i was thinking

[MorrisZapp]

Are you asking should you have another one at all, or should you wait longer to have your second?

What is your instinct on both?

[Hai1988]

Well i defo want another one, its just the timing im thinking about.

[Jasonthunderpants]

I am not sayin it is a prob, but if you have your 2nd when no1 is 4 or 5 you have to go back to square one again but if the gap is smaller you are still used to babys/toddlers

[Hai1988]

well i dont think i have much choice since DS is 4.10 now

[LouAnnVanHouten]

Have one when you and your DH want one. Your ds could go through any number of nightmare phases over the next 15 years lasting from a few days to many months. Not having a much wanted second child because your 4yo is talking back and not listening is a disproportionate response to normal little boy behaviour. If it helps my very experienced, very fecund friend claims from age 6-10 is the easy bit.

[homebirthmummy4]

your son will be what he will be regardless of age gap, behaviour may improve but then again jealousy could make it worse.

fwiw i have several different age gaps with mine -2years between dd1 and dd2, 15months between dd2 and dd3 and 12 years between dd3 and dd4. 12 years has been best so far but as i am older i am knackered but more relaxed.

it is really how you teach your child to adapt that matters, its never going to be easy but if you are ready, doesnt matter what everyone else thinks, go for it.