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AIBU?

To want my DF to re-use his wedding ring?

10 replies

Colliecross · 25/07/2010 23:14

My DF was widowed several years ago and still wears his wedding ring. I would like him to re-use this ring when we marry, as i have never seen him without it and it seems part of him.
He doesn't think this would be appropriate and wants another ring. I think it is a shame when a ring he has worn for 26 years will be relegated to the back of a drawer.

OP posts:
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secunda · 25/07/2010 23:16

He could wear two rings maybe? I think Ken Livingstone does this. Or is it Vince Cable? One of them anyway.

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belledechocolatefluffybunny · 25/07/2010 23:18

Could he have it turned into cufflinks/tie pin or something?

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mmmwine · 25/07/2010 23:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LouAnnVanHouten · 25/07/2010 23:21

I think traditionally widows wear their first wedding ring on their right hand ring finger when they remarry. I can see his point about wanting a new one.

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PrettyCandles · 25/07/2010 23:21

It's lovely that you want him to cntinue wearing his first wedding ring. And also that he wants to wear only your ring.

I agree with Secunda that he could wear both rings. Seems perfectly apprpriate, and honours both wives.

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PatriciaHolm · 25/07/2010 23:22

I don't think it's particularly appropriate either - the ring was bought to celebrate a marriage to someone that wasn't you. If you would like him to continue wearing it, would he wear it on a chain? Or as the others have suggestion, have turned into say cufflinks?

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edam · 25/07/2010 23:23

Ooh, the idea of using the same ring is weird. That would make me very uncomfortable. The ring symbolises his relationship with his late wife, not you. Your marriage is a new beginning for both of you and deserves new rings.

Wearing two rings, or putting the first one aside for any children of that marriage, feels like a much better idea.

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secunda · 25/07/2010 23:25

this is nice You have to scroll down a bit to get to the bit about the rings

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chipmonkey · 26/07/2010 00:36

my Mum knew a lady who had been widowed. She wore two wedding ring and two engagement rings all on the same finger.

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ChippingIn · 26/07/2010 00:46

I think it is really really lovely that you feel the way you do - but it really isn't appropriate to use the same ring as he used to wed his first wife. He doesn't need to put it at the back of his draw, he can wear it on his other hand or on a nice chain around his neck - I really don't like jewellery on men, but even I think this would be nice.

It sounds like you two will have a great marriage... congratulations & have a lovely wedding day

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