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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

Our daughter moved in today - question

26 replies

SBRMum · 01/05/2015 13:24

Finally, after a week on an emotional rollercoaster with the introductions, our daughter moved in with us. She's upstairs taking a nap as we speak. My husband and I are both quite shellshocked but we are really happy. We are so pleased that the journey is finally come to an end. Well, I saying and then it isn't until the celebration hearing that she really is our daughter, is it. How long in your experience, does it take between the child moving in and the celebration hearing?

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LastingLight · 01/05/2015 13:34

Sorry I don't know the answer to your question but I just wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS! You are embarking on a rollercoaster adventure that will change your life for ever and it's the most amazing thing to experience.

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Maiyakat · 01/05/2015 13:57

Congratulations! I don't think I was together enough to type on moving in day so you're doing better than me

I put the paperwork in for the adoption order as soon as I could, and it was just over 6 months after moving it that we got the adoption order. It was another 6 weeks before the celebration hearing, but that's purely ceremonial.

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64x32x24 · 01/05/2015 14:08

Huge congratulations!

You can apply for the Adoption Order after 10 weeks of placement at the earliest. Many adopters choose to delay applying, for various reasons, so that will make the time to celebration hearing longer, obviously.

Once you have applied, the court will set a date for the child's LA to supply all the paperwork, which in our LA is usually about 6 weeks after they have received the application. The court also sets a date for an initial hearing, which in our LA is usually about 4 weeks later again. So on the whole, another 10 weeks from when you applied. At least. It can be significantly longer, e.g. if the courts are very busy. In our case we 'lost' a month due to the court legal advisor sending back our application claiming we had made a mistake, when in fact we hadn't. It took a month to clear that up and get it back to the court.

At the initial hearing, if there are no problems, the AO can be granted and a date is set for the celebration hearing. In our case the celebration hearing was about 3 weeks later and our SW said that this is standard. However if the adoption is contested, it can be months and months from the initial hearing until the AO is granted. For example: At the initial hearing, BM requests leave to contest. Gets given time to put case together, and new hearing date set. At next hearing, BM gets more time to put case together. New date set. At this new hearing BM's request for leave to contest is denied. BM appeals this decision. New hearing is scheduled to hear this appeal. Appeal is rejected and new date is scheduled to hear application for AO, and finally AO is granted and date for celebration hearing set - maybe 4 or 5 months after initial hearing.

So that would add up as:
10 weeks of placement until you can apply for AO
10 weeks from application to initial hearing
3 weeks from granting of AO to celebration hearing
adding up to 23 weeks from today, or over 5 months.

-> as absolutely minimum timescale.

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Velvet1973 · 01/05/2015 14:32

We applied for ao as soon as we were allowed to do so. We are waiting for the hearing but the date of initial hearing will be 6 1/2 months after placement. We are expecting bp's to contest it but hoping and expecting that appeal will be denied but if they do request leave to appeal ao can't be granted at initial hearing even if leave to appeal is denied. That's my understanding anyway.

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Mama1980 · 01/05/2015 16:58

About 6 months is the minimum.
My dd was placed with me with bm consent at birth everything went smoothly as no one contested but the courts were busy so there were a few weeks here and there used up by that. The AO was granted when she was 6 1/2 months old.

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Mama1980 · 01/05/2015 17:37

Sorry I had to post quickly I was being used as a tree obviously I meant to finish by saying huge congratulations and best of luck with everything.

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Jakadaal · 01/05/2015 18:04

Huge congratulations!! Our dc moved in with us just before Christmas and the adoption was finalised the following June. It was 10 years ago but your post has brought it all flooding back

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 01/05/2015 18:08

Congratulations!

We applied for the order as soon as we could at a court with a very short waiting list, and it was 5 months -almost to the day - between moving in and the celebration hearing

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Hels20 · 01/05/2015 18:09

We applied 12 weeks after DS moved in and because of court delays and an admin mistake, we finally got the AO 7 months after he moved in. Celebration hearing was 3 weeks after that.

Good luck and how exciting for you all!!

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Italiangreyhound · 01/05/2015 19:48

You can apply after 10 weeks, I think we applied after 12 as we had to wait for a review meeting before we could apply.

It was just over 5 months, from our son moving in to the hearing and our celebration was less than a month after that so a total of 6 months.

Congratulations.

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Drunkedydrunk · 01/05/2015 21:22

We got our AO a year to the day after meeting them. 51 weeks to the day after they came home.

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odyssey2001 · 02/05/2015 09:10

You don't want to rush into things. If you need to access support from the placing authority, it may be a lot harder post AO. Luckily, the support we needed was either NHS or private so we could apply quite quickly. Even then it took five months.

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SBRMum · 02/05/2015 13:16

Thanks everyone for your advice and answers. We are totes in love

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 02/05/2015 14:07

Lovely, SBR!

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PheasantPlucker · 02/05/2015 14:20

Congratulations. It took us 52 weeks - but this was due to a few complications from the agency's paperwork

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excitedmtb · 02/05/2015 20:05

We were told to expect to have our adoption order within 3 months of applying. This has not been the case.
We applied 8 months ago. We still don't have our AO although we are much closer now.
We have been told that almost all BP's will contest now. And, like someone above has said, a new hearing date will be set to hear their case. Then if they make some claim which cannot be substantiated but could possibly represent a change in circumstances...another hearing date will be set. And so on. When BP's appeal to contest is finally dismissed then ANOTHER hearing is set before the celebration hearing. Add to that, BP's also have another 28 days to appeal the dismissal of their appeal to contest!!

This is not something we were made aware of at adoption training. Will be delighted when it is all over and we can finally move on.

BUT....it's the best thing we have ever done. Just take time to enjoy your new family and dont get stressed about the above. It will all work out in the end.

Congratulations!!

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Italiangreyhound · 02/05/2015 23:13

excitedmtb I am so sorry you have had such a hard time of it. I am not sure that your experience is typical. Our adoption was not contested. I think that birth parents have the right to apply to contest an adoption. I am not sure if Lilka is around as she knows a lot about this.

odyssey2001 you said You don't want to rush into things. I think it really depends on the situation. I agree if there are issues then you definitely do not want to rush things because you may not be able to get the help you need (if you need it).

However, for other people I think some do want to get the paper work done.

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CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 03/05/2015 00:28

We were determined to do it ASAP - we were certain DD should stay with us; there were no identified needs that needed assistance / funding; we wanted a life free from SW and to be able to make all decisivd about DD; and we didn't want to risk birth families changing their mind about not contesting the adoption. So for us it was right to press on rather than wait

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SBRMum · 03/05/2015 06:26

Thanks again guysxxxxx

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Lilka · 03/05/2015 14:08

excited's experience sounds pretty typical to me for a contested adoption where the birth parents are actually contesting properly. The other common scenario is that birth mum/dad/both will start the process to contest by applying and perhaps attend the first hearing, but then not turn up to the next important hearing, then perhaps another which results in the judge getting fed up and dismissing the application. Basically, a large number of adoptions are contested, but how able or willing the birth parents are to actually follow through on their application, varies. If they seriously are committed, and gather their evidence and attend the hearings it will delay things for months, as excited is experiencing, because they do have the right to appeal every decision as far as I'm aware - the right of appeal being a cornerstone of our legal system. But if they get given a hearing date and then don't show up, the most they should get is one more chance to show up.

I've adopted 3 times, and the first two times I waited because of my kids needs. It was about a year and a half between DD1 moving in and the AO being granted, and for DD2 it was just over 2 years. Whereas with my DS, although I didn't apply immediately I could, I didn't need to wait that long.

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excitedmtb · 07/05/2015 20:25

Just getting a chance to log back in now.

We were told that things have changed in recent years and almost all are contested now. But like Lilka said, that many won't keep following up on this. In our case BP's did keep going which might not be the case for many.

But I am pleased to say that our adoption order was FINALLY granted earlier this week! Beyond delighted and relieved. Looking forward to celebration hearing now.

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Velvet1973 · 07/05/2015 20:35

Ah congrats excited! Wonderful news! I can only imagine how stressful it's all been for you. We're waiting for our first hearing which we know bm is going to request to appeal. Our lo has other siblings placed elsewhere and she applied to appeal their ao last month but was denied.

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excitedmtb · 07/05/2015 22:13

Thanks Velvet although we were told not to worry throughout, its still just a tremendous relief.

Wishing you all the best with the order. The fact that bm has already had an appeal dismissed must surely mean a more straightforward case for your family. But it won't stop you worrying I am sure.

Best of luck. Hope to hear good news from you on here

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ineedsunsunshine · 08/05/2015 22:42

Just following this thread and I have a question too. We have been given forms to complete for Adoption order and returned to our SW but have now been told we have to submit the application ourselves!Does anybody know if this is normal? There seems to be a misunderstanding between all parties and now SW are supposed to be sorting this out between themselves. Very frustrating as we are nearly there but now more problems and paperwork is not with us anymore. SW don't seem to care at this point.

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Isthiswittyenough09 · 09/05/2015 04:18

ineedsunsunshine We filled in the forms ourselves, but the SW (from our local authority) processed them. I found the SWs to be a mixed bag, some were excellent and some were absolutely incompetent. But there was always confusion about who was meant to be doing what.
Be firm, request that this gets processed by them. If it doesn't, ask to speak to a manager. It is in their best interest to get this processed, so if its not done, threaten to delay the application.

We had to do that. It makes us sound mean, but they owed us Later life letters and a life story book. We'd been waiting nearly 2 years for those things, they appeared a couple of weeks after we said we wouldn't proceed with the AO.
Its ugly, but neccesary.