I have lurked for too long but now I need your help on a specific question on how we should be planning for childcare. My DH and I are in a 'waiting room' before starting the adoption process, trying to prove to the SWs that we have given up all hope of a BC (Long story, but we have).
My DH and I both have work situations which seem permanently in flux - ie there is not much stability for either of us and we are both self employed but in different ways. If we weren't adopting this wouldn't worry us at all as we've managed on one income on and off for a long time (due to career changes and being mature students etc).
We are also both equally keen to adopt (fortunately!) and to do the initial stint of childcare in the early days.
This all means we don't have a very clear story on our childcare plans when talking to SWs. They want to know very clearly which of us would take time off to do full-time childcare. Our answer is currently, "We don't know, it could be either of us". We know this sounds vague, but it's the truth. Depending on timing, and who has more work at the time, it could be either of us, and we are both keen to do it. However we can't predict who will have work in a year's time, although if it was a few months in advance we'd have a much clearer idea.
Actually our "ideal" situation (and this maybe idealistic, please tell me your opinion) would be that we would both take time off initially (for the first month or two), and then we would share the childcare and both work part-time. (Both of us regularly work from home too, so we do have some flexibility). But I'm not sure this is the answer they want to hear, and I'm not sure whether this would be good for the child or not. Are SWs looking for one parent to commit to a full year of childcare?
Does this sound like we are not committed? We are committed, and would change our job situation if necessary (eg to get a full-time job) if we were absolutely sure it would be the right thing, but we don't even know what "the right thing" is, and we can see lots of value in the flexibility that we currently have, which we wouldn't have if one of us worked full-time.
When we spoke to the SW about this, she said we should "go away and have a long think about how we would make it work". But thinking about it doesn't seem to solve anything as our answer remains stubbornly the same. Any words of wisdom?
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Newbie question - what do the SWs want?
11 replies
holeinmyshoe · 04/01/2015 16:59
OP posts:
Jameme ·
05/01/2015 00:03
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Jameme ·
09/01/2015 23:28
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