Direct Contact...

[Engima]

Hello everyone,

We were approved earlier this summer and are just beginning to hear details of potential matches - all v exciting!

One of the profiles we have seen specifies ongoing direct contact with the birth parents. Surprisingly this child is a young baby rather than an older child who already has an established relationship with their birth parents. I obviously can't give any more details but I wanted to ask:

1. does anyone have experience of a similar direct contact arrangement with a young child, and if so, how has it been?
   
   
2. (as I think the above scenario is pretty rare) does anyone have any experience generally of planned direct contact?
   
   We are not averse to direct contact in general, and from what I've read, research suggests that it is better for direct contact to be in place from the beginning, than for an adopted child to be closed off from their birth family only to later seek out contact with their birth family in an uncontrolled way via social media or similar. (I know some people on here have experienced this exact scenario)...
   
   That said, direct contact with the birth parents is a v different prospect to adopting with indirect contact, so we've a lot to think about!
   
   Any personal experience of the above would be v much appreciated.
   
   Thanks :-)

[ColdCottage]

I don't but I believe it is common in America. Maybe look up one of their support groups.

[researchbookworm]

No experience to offer I'm afraid but surprised that direct contact is being suggested with a baby (if I've understood you correctly)?
Has anyone else seen this be suggested before?

[fasparent]

Think Open adoptions is the term would Google this for more detail, Have experience of this from dd placed with us at birth, No BM Contact but with sibling's and Birth family and Sibling's family's , all worked out well are all now Adults and have a loving and close relationship with each other(siblings).
Think one has too be careful with court judgments and gain control and look at what is the best interest of the child, Child may later decide against contact. Would agree too supervised contact with option too allow unsupervised at ADOPTEE'S AND CHILDS agreement if it appropriate .
Our children for example now have unsupervised contact with GP's , this was after a few year's of supervised but was always the intent too work towards this, at our discretion and judgment.
As time passes there are many unforeseen things ahead such as bereavement's and illness, which loss effects a wider family can be very difficult and upsetting for ALL the children and ALL the family's.
One will have too take things slowly and do a very lot of home work.

[Engima]

Thanks fas- lots I hadn't thought about there. I don't know how specific the court have been about supervised versus non supervised contact yet. I also can't quite get my head round how direct contact for ac could impact on my bc. I don't know if it would be realistic (or desirable) to keep bc away from ac's birth family, or if this would create weird divisions in our family. I had already thought about the possibility of the ac having contact with their birth siblings and considered how this would work for my bc, but somehow the idea of a network of wider family seems more daunting. My bc would have no real justifiable connection to these people (and they may not be interested in forming a relationship anyway), but to keep them as a connection that only the ac has would constantly reinforce the difference between our bc and ac, and that's not at all how I hope things will work out...

Hmmm- as you say- lots to think about!