help me with ideas

[OurMiracle1106]

For those that don't know I am a birth mum to a gorgeous little boy hence posting here. It will be his birthday next week, my first without him so I am taking my best friends little girl out and wanted to make it a special day for both of us.

I am going to do cake for us as she does know it's his birthday and I am doing her dinner too (probably take away as a treat)

But what else can I do?
Thoughts are cinema.
Soft play
Bowling

Any other ideas?
Help please

[Hels20]

How old is the little girl, Miracle?

[OurMiracle1106]

Shes 4 if that helps. Lol.

[Italiangreyhound]

Ask her what she would like. My guess is soft play!

Make sure you do something FOR YOU on the day too.

Bless you.

[Hels20]

Sent you a PM, Miracle, with some suggestions.

Think it is lovely that you are doing this and hope it will help you get through the day.

FWIW, I actually thought a lot about my DS's Birth Mum on his birthday - more than usual - and it was one of the few times I felt like a slight "fraud".

[Hels20]

PS the only thing I would add is look after yourself. It might be a bit overwhelming if you go somewhere very child centric on his birthday. So don't feel bad about changing your plans and doing something quite - eg art and craft, play doh, Hama beads at home with the little girl.

[OurMiracle1106]

She wants to go Bluewater. And to the Disney store, followed by cinema and dinner but my purse won't stretch to all of that! It's also a place I used to take my ds too and I was worried it would be too emotional

[Hels20]

If she wants to do Bluewater - how about Build a bear? Save some money for you...you may need a large glass of wine or 3 at the end of the day...

Will be Thinking of you on 11.

[OurMiracle1106]

Ive already done build a bear with her! I do have her quite often (4 times during half term cos mummy dealing with housing issues)

[upupupandaway]

Petting Zoo, a day in the park. Don't need to go overboard with activities. Kids like to feel appreciated for what they can offer you. Let her help make tea, like butter the bread or lay the table. Make her feel important.

[MoJangled]

Miracle you are indescribably brave.

No need to go expensive. At 4, a visit to a water park or local woods for den-buidling, or an activity farm for kids where you could have a picnic, would be perfect. Cinema before or after if there's a kids club type deal would be fun, but not strictly necessary if you're having a special day out anyway. Although it might give you some zone-out time if you need it! And then special tea that you cook together with your cake.

[FamiliesShareGerms]

I'd do one big thing rather than lots of things.

Look after yourself too.

[Italiangreyhound]

Miracle you said ...Disney store, followed by cinema and dinner! I think it's just too much!

Please be careful you are doing a lot to celebrate another child's birthday at a very vulnerable time for you.

Sorry, when I said 'Ask her what she would like.' I meant for ideas and I guess the best way would be for her to choose ONE thing from a list YOU supply! Not a big list she supplied.

A cinema visit is (IMHO) a bit wasted on a child so young, she could just as easily see a DVD at home with popcorn. I am a bit old fashioned! I think it is a lot of money to go to cinema. Why not take her to a special kids' screening of a not-just-staright-out film (e.g. an older film) another time and concentrate on something special for the day.

Personally, I'd agree to den building if she would like it.

I seem to think Build a Bear is very expensive. Can you afford this? It is lovely you want to spend the day with a child but please do not bankrupt yourself to do it.

Imagine if you make lots of plans and then find the whole day overwhelming and you have spent loads of money.

It's just my opinion but if it were me I would not want another child and their demands on the day, but I know you do so do something you can both enjoy that is not so expensive (kids have no idea how much things cost and a simple 'I can't afford that' is all you need).

Personally, if I had a day that was sad but special I would want to go to a spa and be pampered either alone or with a friend. You have made the date to see the friend but please do not over do it with the child and if you can build in a facial, manicure, whatever for YOU, please be kind to yourself.

[Italiangreyhound]

Oopse sorry I see you already did build a bear anyway!

[OurMiracle1106]

We have worked out a plan I am going to take her shopping (which involves a bus hiurbe

[OurMiracle1106]

Journey) followed by feeding the ducks. Back to mine to get some food shopping in and something to make. Dinner. Cake and home.

She asked to do the same as me n ds used to.