My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Adoption

nosey strangers :(

5 replies

kmarie100 · 05/06/2014 09:36

Still trying to process a conversation I had this week.
Took dd (adopted) and ds (birth) to playgroup and I was sat for a while near a lady there, don't think I've spoken to her before. There was no pleasantries etc she just started asking me questions. Including,
Was ds actually my nephew?
Where was dd before she came to playgroup? (was taking ds there before dd moved in with us)

I think she knew dd is adopted so why would she ask where she was before? I can't decide if she was trying to get me to tell her dd is adopted or if she actually wanted to know where she was living before?
Am I being over sensitive or would you be annoyed by this?
How do you guys handle nosey strangers?

OP posts:
Report
MrsBW · 05/06/2014 10:28

My reply would have been "why do you ask"?

Others will be along will more suggestions soon!

Report
Kewcumber · 05/06/2014 10:53

My favorite answer MrsBW "Why do you ask?" becasue then if they say "because I'm half way through my home study and I wondered if she was adopted as I haven't seen her before" then you can decide whether to get into a conversation about the adoption process (avoiding specifics of DD just about your process IYSWIM)

If the answer is "I was curious as I haven't seen her before" then my normal answer is

"Oh right"

Then carry on with what you're doing. If they persist then say "its really not interesting enough to bore you with - where did live live before here?"

Report
Italiangreyhound · 05/06/2014 13:38

Why do you ask is a great answer!

I have not had this at all except 'I suppose you know all about his past?'

Me 'Yes, I think so.' end of conversation!

Report
Kewcumber · 05/06/2014 13:45

You get less questions over time because you haven't suddenly turned up at a baby group with a toddler in tow.

I find people more curious to know who his father was as DS is not only a great deal more exotic looking than me but also a great deal better looking! Mind you most children are better looking than adults aren;t they? That glowy dewy skin makes me want to weep the older I get!

Report
KristinaM · 05/06/2014 14:26

" why do you ask ? " also put them on the back foot, as they have to justify their curiosity /rudeness , rather than you having to justify your child existence /age /great beauty

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.