Wanted: A Family of My Own - Episode 1 tonight

[Lilka]

At 9.00PM on ITV

From their website:

Dan and Ania from the south coast have applied to adopt. Originally from Poland, Ania met Dan 10 years ago when she came to the UK to work. Dan has two older daughters but the couple want a child of their own. Will they find a baby?

Also in this episode, we meet a baby living with foster carers. He desperately needs a family to love and give him a permanent home. His birthparents have struggled with mental illness for many years and can’t take care of him. Will his social worker be able to find the right family for him?

My only comment is that I wish one of these programs would actually follow up or do something about post adoption. Looks like this also is only interested in up until moving in day. Oh well. I hope it's a good program. Again, I hope there's no "let's judge/bash potential adopters because of their matching criteria"

[Italiangreyhound]

lilka where are you sharing your years of experience and wisdom? Why are you not experiential advisor on one of these programmes?Serious question. Do the programme makers just want to find more adopters or deal with the cute and cuddly new home side of the story and avoid the 'issues' that come along down the line??

We need a few experienced adoption champions. I am a newbie so I am looking to the wise and experienced on here - you know who you are???
people power! Adopters power! but really power to the kids! Tooting Popular front arm in air (for those old enough to remember it!)

[http://www.tootingpopularfront.com/]

[adoptmama]

Oh I loved Citizen Smith - had more than a bit of a crush on Wolfie too :)

[fasparent]

Agree with you Italian, my Zima is parked up got too let social change play it's part, done lots over the year's with other Adopter's such as SEN
education and interventions. etc., etc. all now published and in place, time for the young ones too take the reign . Always looking though and ready too poke in right direction if need be.

[Lilka]

MyFeet - Of course, how could I have forgotten!? And since the DM recently definitely proved that blood is thicker than water with one simple article, there's really no need for any further coverage of any sort!

Italian - I think it's pretty clear from looking at ITV's website and Nicky Campbell's pre program article that this ITV program is trying to recruit more adopters. They have all the myth debunking on their webpage, the first4adoption phonelines specifically open for an hour after the show et cetera.

Which is all very well and good but if we're trying to recruit adopters I'd prefer a progam which looks at more aspects of adoption than just the homestudy and matching bit, especially post adoption follow up. I mean, that bit is the rest of your life after you've adopted!! The homestudy is 6-8 months.

Imagine an alternate reality Britain where most people didn't want to have babies, and they were making TV programs to encourage people to have children because so few people ever did and the population wass dramatically declining

And imagine these programs focussing on the happy couples experience of sex , pregnancy, morning sickness, antenatal scans, a few complications, giving birth, and what the first 4 weeks with a new baby are like, with bonding and feeding etc. And nothing else. Of the childs whole childhood. At all. Nothing about a family's story of parenting a 5 year old or a 14 year old.

Now that seems a bit silly

But these programs are basically doing that - by not filming beyond introductions, it doesn't give a great picture of what adoption means. There are SO MANY things which come with adoptive parenting, from talking with your child about adoption, to contact, to dealing with questions, additional issues and the impact of a childs early childhood. Now why not include a few families with adult adopted children (who fully understand and consent to talking about it) who are willing to tell their story and talk about things like that? All with at least slightly different experiences for some balance.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

Does this not clash with the other programme?

[Lilka]

15,000 kids? No, that's finished now, the last episode was last week

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

Ooh I didn't realise. Thanks, Lilka. :)

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

Nicky Campbell was on the One Show talking about the programme. Definitely a recruitment campaign, but I think it will be sensitively handled, based on what he was saying and how he came across.

15,000 kids... has certainly prompted some discussion with friends and family about what we have undertaken, which has been great. But I agree... Would be good to show a follow up programme, so that maybe our friends & family would have some insight as to our lives now.

[OurMiracle1106]

There has been a lot of adoption programmes on recently and sometimes it feels a little insensitive to birth parents my final hearing was April 22nd to April 29th so probably feeling emotional anyway

[Devora]

Watching! Wondering how long it will take for another thread to start slagging them off for saying no to Downs Syndrome and learning disabilities...

[AngelsWithSilverWings]

I was just thinking the same. They are very brave agreeing to be filmed doing that part of the process. I remember feeling awful doing that bit.

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

I naively thought there was an upper age limit for foster carers looking after young children/babies, these programmes have certainly been informative.

Miracle, I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I'm sorry, I know words are inadequate.

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

I found it a bit odd the way they did that. We were given the list and encouraged it go away, think and discuss before agreeing. It seemed as though they had to say then and there. Maybe the way it was edited?

[Lagoonablue]

God fancy caring for a new baby at their age, the foster carets that is. Good on them though.

[RhinosAreFatUnicorns]

Miracle

[HappySunflower]

I was given the lost and given a few weeks to consider it before completing it. I then had a session with my assessing sw to discuss it.

I wonder if they were just going through it like that for the camera.

[AngelsWithSilverWings]

Yes I thought that too. We were given the form and some time to research different issues before giving our answers.

We were matched with our daughter because of our answer to one of those questions. We were the only adopters in our county approved for a young baby who had ticked yes to her particular health issue.

[Devora]

It was awful, wasn't it? With every 'no' you hear this voice intoning in your head: "You are a Nazi, you are a Nazi..."

I guess there are some adopters who go in committed to caring for a child with very high care needs, but for most of us I guess we are expecting some additional needs, but hoping for not too much... And then we get guilt-tripped by people who have never been in the position of having to make such a choice. And of course once you have a child, and they do turn out to have additional needs, you love them and you get on with it. But that is different from being in the position of being given these strange abstract choices.

[Devora]

I swear I have met every single one of those panel members - they seem to all be made at the same factory.

[OurMiracle1106]

You also have to make sure as adopters you can give the child who will become your child the very best and if you feel unable for whatever reason to deal with certain disabilities or issues then that child is best placed elsewhere.

Also doesnt every parent wish for a healthy baby? Does it mean you love a Child born with additional needs any less. No of course it doesnt

[candycoatedwaterdrops]

For those in the know, once you get to panel, isn't it more likely than not that you'll get approved?