Adoption if you grew up in care...?

[NinjaPenguin]

I was placed in care aged 7. Ended up phasing out. How much of a problem would this be, as we are looking to, hopefully, adopt in the future?

[Meita]

Just as any other prospective adopter, you would have to demonstrate that you lead a reasonably stable life and have a reasonable support network and are reasonably capable of parenting and have a reasonable understanding of the difficulties adopted children are likely to come with.

For the latter, your own experiences of being in care are likely to be seen as a big plus!

I don't think that having grown up in care, by itself, would in any way hinder your chances to adopt. IF your early experiences have caused long term issues such as not being able to form secure attachments, having major uncontrolled mental health issues, or meaning that you have a very limited or no support network (no helpful family in the background) then these things would be carefully explored by your assessing social worker.

[Meita]

As they would with any other prospective adopter, I meant to add!

[NinjaPenguin]

Okay, so as long as I have no long term remaining issues from being in care, it's fine. Good. Thankfully we have a strong support network, due to DH's family. Althoigh, saying that, I've searched around, and saw that one person (on another forum) reccomended a few sessions of private counselling to ensure old emotions don't resurface?

[Hels20]

I would have thought that you would be several steps ahead of us adopters in understanding the vulnerabilities of a child in care are and what that child might need!

I agree with Meita that they will just want to be confident you have dealt with any issues you have from your childhood - but that goes for all of this. They really wanted me, for example, to be comfortable with not having birth children and it was a major plus that I had been to counselling.

Good luck!

[allthingswillpass]

I agree with Hels. Showing them that you've been to counselling off your own back shows the SW's that you are not afraid to seek help and that you have faced up to any issues from your past.
If I were you, I would phone a couple of agencies and see the reaction in your initial telephone interview conversation.
I suspect you will get varying reactions. I have no support from my family as they are elderly and far away but like you, my in laws are fab as are a couple of friends.
Good luck!

[holycowwhatnow]

Another voice in support of counselling. I worried about the fact that I had been to counselling and how it would look to the SW- I thought she'd see it as a negative that I was finding it hard to cope (with infertility etc) but as it turned out, she said it was a very positive thing that I recognised that I wasn't able to talk myself out of my sadness, and that means that if my child has issues in the future, I would not be afraid or averse to seeking outside help.

Like the others have said, I would imagine that your childhood experiences would mean that you would be more able than most to understand the needs and behaviours of a child who had come from the care system.

The very best of luck to you. Hang around here, I'm constantly learning from this board.

[NinjaPenguin]

Thanks for all of the advice We are still thinking long and hard about adopting, so we aren't certain it's the path for us yet, but this is definitely encouraging as it was one of our worries.

[Italiangreyhound]

Ninjapenguin great name!

I do know an approved adopter who was in care at some point in their life.

I think you just need to be sure issues are resolved and taking a new child into your family would not bring up any unresolved issues for you. That is easy to say but may be harder to judge for you!

It is great you are thinking about adoption and you will have a perspective many of us do not have. You also need to ensure you, your DH and any children you have placed with you will benefit from the knowledge you have and not be put under any extra strain. I would echo all who say counselling, specialist counselling for your situation.

You also do not mention if you have birth children or not, and of course all those issues either with children, or with fertility treatment etc (in my case) and of choosing to adopt for others etc will all be things to explore on top of your own childhood.