Waiting... for match... who else is waiting... twiddling thumbs and needing guidance!

(33 Posts)

Waiting... for match... who else is waiting... twiddling thumbs and needing guidance!

Any suggestions how not to go mad! Please.

Lilka Sat 30-Nov-13 16:11:44

I was going to reply

But I've found out there's definitely a limit to Google's translating talents

Bollocks

KristinaM Sat 30-Nov-13 15:33:19

There is no end to our talents on the adoption threads :-)

Kewcumber Sat 30-Nov-13 10:59:07

my russian is horribly rusty. I had about four goes at русскоговорящих before I worked out how to pronounce it!

RudolphLovesoftplay Sat 30-Nov-13 06:29:12

Very impressed by all the Russian grin

Lilka Fri 29-Nov-13 22:31:45

Hi to you too Kew! grin

Kewcumber Fri 29-Nov-13 22:18:01

Привет коллеги русскоговорящих.

KristinaM Fri 29-Nov-13 20:29:26

grin

Lilka Fri 29-Nov-13 20:13:46

I would love to let everyone believe I know some Russian! It would make me seem more intelligent grin Unfortunately I have to be honest....

I copied and pasted what you wrote into a Russian-English translator. Then double checked with another translator. Then translated my English response into Russian and double checked that (I don't trust these translators at all!)

The only Russian I genuinely know is hello, goodbye, yes, no, spring (!) and a few other random words I picked up off a Russian friend

KristinaM Fri 29-Nov-13 19:01:06

But how did you know what I said ?

Lilka Fri 29-Nov-13 17:53:10

It's great to have a mate (named Google) who can write in Russian wink grin

Lilka Fri 29-Nov-13 17:52:19

Ура!

KristinaM Fri 29-Nov-13 17:51:44

< mumsnet is dragged, screaming, into the 21st century >

KristinaM Fri 29-Nov-13 17:48:37

It's good I think :-)

Lilka Fri 29-Nov-13 17:44:39

The boards support Russian now? I remember when there used to be threads titled 'how many foreign languages do we know on MN' and half the posters would try and write in Russian/Chinese/Hindi, and only a stream of random &'''''&^ would be posted because the boards couldn't handle it!

Надеюсь на то же самое

(is that right, or hopelessly wrong?)

KristinaM Fri 29-Nov-13 17:33:29

I like Kews suggestion best. Learn Russian

я надеюсь, что ваш ребенок прибывает вскоре

maya03 Wed 27-Nov-13 20:06:33

We were approved Sept 2012 for a sibling group of 2 ages 5-11 long term & we're still waiting! To be fair we did get a match back in June but it was a very slow process because of Social workers summer holidays, we should have been meeting the children in Sept but the placement couldn't go ahead after certain behaviour from one of the children. So now we're back to square one, our SSC has suggested we go dual approved so we could take short term, we did agree to this but we think we'll hold out for what we feel more comfortable providing.

RudolphLovesoftplay Thu 03-Oct-13 10:53:21

That's true Italian, our adoption support has been fab. I know not everyone has the same experience, but I can't fault ours.

PS Our county council letter included a letter about good it is to stay with them and how we can access better help or post adoption support if we adopt through them.

Thanks MooseyMouse those suggestions are very good. I did look on Be my Parent. Our county council can make our profile available after three months, it has only been 2 weeks since we had the official letter and a month since panel, so I don't think we will go on the national register until after Christmas.

Also, I know this will sound odd but I am kind of hoping they will find a match for us and it will feel more like it is meant to be! I am worried if I choose from a list or see photos I will be swayed by things like how they look, whether they are a boy or girl or their ethnicity etc. I would like to be really open and the easiest way to be open seem to not know! Does that sounds daft.

Actually our area has an activity day next year and I will almost certainly go on it if not matched (with DH) but wonder how it works and would love to hear more. have started a thread about it is anyone wants to comment, please.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1871167-Activity-days

Thanks Rudolph.

RudolphLovesoftplay Thu 03-Oct-13 06:37:28

Nothing helpful to add, sadly I went a bit bonkers as well smile Having said that we were provisionally matched really quickly after approval, it was the wait for the official match at panel that sent me nuts!!

Does your area offer training sessions? We did loads of them in the gap.

MooseyMouse Thu 03-Oct-13 06:25:50

Hiya

It's worth getting really proactive. Go on the exchange days (see Adoption Register website for dates), go on the activity days (where you meet the kids - several planned - see BAAF website for details).

Make an eye-catching profile with loads of pictures and a bit about yourself and send it out. Even call some family finders. If you see a profile you like in BMP or CWW, call the child's social worker for a chat.

Good luck. It'll happen soon. X

Mary thank my dear but sadly our budget is more weekend in Bournemouth than fortnight in the Maldives and I can already hear my hubby saying "Weekend in Bournemouth, can we afford it!"

Also we have a birth DD (now 9) so also life does just need to trundle on. I also want to just trundle on, DH s painting the kitchen, and I am trying to work under control so I can hand over my notes and walk out for a year's adoption leave. A thing I would find stressful if you said do that tomorrorw!

And yet, I am also so keen to meet our new one.

I do feel guilty as I have a really fun work trip next month and I am also pleased nothing has happened so I can go on the work trip (only few days). So of course I now feel guilty for wanting to go to the work trip and also gulity for not wanting the placement to start yet, and of course another part of me wants it to start!

So it is all guilt and stress! Sounds like a fair portion of motherhood! No, let's be positive, motherhood is like a potpouri of things, good and bad but overwhelmingly good. I guess it is the waiting I hate and the stress of wondering if we will make the right decision. I am not sure if we will say yes to the first child offered and feel it was right or wait and feel we are doing the wrong thing!!!

Maryz Wed 02-Oct-13 22:56:44

Book a really expensive holiday.

A round the world trip, or an all-inclusive fortnight in the Maldives.

You'll get a match instantly grin

It's horrible, the waiting business. We waited over two years after approval for ds1, and then got less than a week's notice for dd.

ChoccyJules tanks DD is 9 and we are hoping to adopt a child 0-5.

Devora I can't move, moving hose was just about the most stressful thing I have ever done.

Kew I am not yet at the mad stage - but wait until I am wearing bacon as a hat and sleeping on top of the shed and I will be!

Banana sorry your journey was so hard. Yet now your little ones are home with you. I hope so much you have all the care and support you need because you sound great and I am sure some of that waiting year will come in useful in the future. I am not saying it is all meant to be or anything - I don't think like that, but I hope some of that experience has been helpful to you. I hope my fertility and infertility experiences will be helpful to me, but I know that I went through a time of wanting to avoid friends who had kids and more kids and were having another baby etc!

Bananaketchup Tue 01-Oct-13 21:19:18

What I found hardest was my intense jealousy of other adopters getting linked/matched. As time went on (my wait from approval panel to being linked was over a year) I just couldn't hack contact with people from my prep who all had their children home, and I dropped out of some courses I'd signed up for because every one I went to seemed to be attended solely by adopters who had been approved months after me and instantly linked with the age and profile of child I was waiting for, and/or foster carers who would tell me about the lovely children they were caring for who were within my approval criteria who SWs couldn't find adopters for.

I'm not recommending any of this as a good plan, just that it helped me because I felt like I was rubbing my own nose in what others had and I didn't until I steered clear of other prospective or new adopters. What I'm trying to say is, do what helps you.

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