I have had fertility problems for 10+years, adopted two half sisters (with my STBXH) 4.5 and 3.5 years ago, they are now aged 5 and 7.
Split with my husband last year, met a new partner, it now turns out that I am pregnant
Has this happened to anyone else?
I am really in shock. I am concerned about the effect that this will have on my dd's, the older one has lots of issues (around attachment) and is under CAMHS. I think this could be really triggering for her.
Also, I am concerned that when I tell people, that I may be less accepted by some fellow adopters. I know that having infertility for 10+yrs has affected my ability to feel joy for pregnant people
I am in total shock. I am the wrong side of 40, separated, don't live with my new partner and am already single-parenting two very demanding adopted children.
It's going ok thanks. Still quite terrified. Starting to feel real now, saw the heartbeat on a scan last week (EDD 5th Dec) and have got my 12 week scan in three weeks so then I will feel official! Can't wait to tell my dds, they will be delighted with the idea (not sure about the reality though!)
I just wanted to congratulate you too. These things are difficult because I think a lot of people think that adopted children are somehow second best to the 'real thing'.. I think the same can happen with step children too when their Mother (or Father) goes on to have children with another partner. I have 5 children. My older two have a different Father who sadly they do not see (his choice) and I am in a new relationship and have three little boys with him. He is my DDs Father, they call him Daddy and he always reminds them that he 'chose' them. I tell them this too as I know my older DD was a bit wobbly about her brothers at first feeling like she was second best to my DHs birth children, like he wouldn't love them as much. He just says to her, 'but I chose you and your sister, in all the world of children you were the best ones and I chose you as my daughters'. It means the World to them and me to be reminded of that.
Even on the face of infertility, adoption is not an easy option. You are a remarkable woman to take on those little DDs who so desperately needed you to help them through their lives after a difficult start, this is a wonderful blessing and I really hope you will be able to relax soon and enjoy this amazing turn in your lives. Those little girls had an incredible stroke of luck that you found them in the first place and now you are able to give them a lovely gift of a sibling - amazing!