Never gonna be a mum now part 2

(14 Posts)
Fishwife1980 Mon 05-Nov-12 15:53:40

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1585406-Never-gonna-be-mum-now

After much soul searching 3 home vists and awful phone call this morning we have decied to jump ship and move to a VA

Above all else we dont feel we want leave such a big thing to people we dont trust

We just want to be treated fairly amd in hind sight the fact that we have been good foster carers has only done us harm

i feel being given a quite hard time Considering they we have been known to them for 7 years

I dont want to be afraid to ring and ask any questions i have lest i be black listed ffs

When i rund the va even the tone sounded so much better

I was very navie to think just because the support team for fosterig was good the adoption team would be the same gurr

The va said due to our experince we didnt need to attend the infor eve and they will contact us in a few weeks for a home visit smile

Lilka Mon 05-Nov-12 16:30:49

Very best of luck to you smile

Fishwife1980 Mon 05-Nov-12 16:54:34

Are we doing the right thing or are we mad.

Lilka Mon 05-Nov-12 17:06:17

Mad to go with a VA? No. Mad to keep persuing adoption? No, not if this is what you want

So I'm, going to go with not mad smile

Fishwife1980 Mon 05-Nov-12 17:11:45

Thanks just wondering if we were mad to jump ship

I know adoption is right for our family and the va just sounded so postive we cant wait to meet them un like our La who we were dreading visiting

HappySunflower Mon 05-Nov-12 19:53:21

I went with the LA only because they have the children- they look first to their own adopters to match with the children they are looking to place. It tends to be the harder to place children that are 'put out' to the agencies, as (in my area) those not hard to place but needing to be placed out of area are matched through consortium LAs.
I have no experience of any VAs, but have friends who had positive experiences of being assessed by them. It did take them a year post approval to be matched though- and eventually they found their child through the National Adoption Register.

Good Luck! I am pleased that your initial enquiry has been met so positively. I felt that the comments made towards you at your last meeting were extremely unprofessional!

Kewcumber Mon 05-Nov-12 22:05:32

I think going with an agency you feel comfortable with is probably wise. I was lucky as my LA were fine with me. I suspect you might be right - your LA may not want to lose a foster carer.

Good luck

Fishwife1980 Mon 05-Nov-12 22:22:15

Thanks ladies now i taken the step to ring the VA i feel a huge wait and a load of anxiety lifted off me

We are now not worried what the LA come back with on THURSday and i feel so much better for it pheew smile

And am lookig forward to getting our Call from the VA

Fishwife all best wishes for the VA.

LocoParentis Tue 06-Nov-12 10:03:35

Thats grand news Fishwfe,

Your LA shouldn't have treated you any differently because you were a foster carer.

Good luck with the VA

shockers Tue 06-Nov-12 10:12:10

What's a VA?

We were FCs who adopted. Our LA wasn't keen on this either, because they were so short of good FCs.

Good luck!

Fishwife1980 Tue 06-Nov-12 10:40:37

Voulntry angncey

I just rang the baaf help line and told the situ and was advised that it odse seem they they are trying to put us off or at the very lest slow tracking us if its like this now what would it be like futher down the road confused

2old2beamum Tue 06-Nov-12 11:10:47

We have adopted through LA and VA and TBH we found VA slightly more positive. Remember their job is to find parents for children. Also you are not restricted to the LA's area for a certain length of time after approval.
Good luck and I used to make a few 'phone calls to SW it made them realise we were keen. We have adopted 8 hmm

Moomoomie Tue 06-Nov-12 15:44:36

I think you need to go with an agency you feel comfortable with and treats you well. Considering you need to be totally honest and open with them, you need to be comfortable.
Good luck.

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