I don't know why I look at the MailOnline, I really don't sometimes. They have a wonderful adoption article today....which is the biggest load of tripe I have had the misfortune of reading in quite some time. And frighteningly, Joe Public is now reading this, and I'm sure some of them believe it
The worst thing is that the author claims to be a member of an adoption panel. God help us all if thats the attitude of many more of them
She moans about waiting children's unusual names. Not because of their likelihood of being traced, which is a legitimate concern. Oh no, doesn't mention that at all. Instead, she moans that only the 'underclass' (her word not mine!) are named Gemma-mai and Jayde, and that nice middle class adoptive parents shouldn't have to get saddled with names like that, 'cause we're all far too snobby to want children with those names, and that's the real reason why children don't get adopted!!
Worst of all, she also moans that we get given too much information about the children!!! TOO MUCH!! Apparently we should get given almost no information about our children, because they are blank canvasses and it will all be fine if we know nothing about them 
Yes, really! Straight out of the sixties! Our children will apparently be fine if we know nothing about their past. We don't need to know if say, they were exposed to drugs in pregnancy, or how they were abused, or anything about their first family, and if we know nothing the children will turn out fine
I am so angry right now. This is an adopton panel member. No bloody wonder we get no support if so many adoption professionals still believe the blank canvass twaddle that was discredited years ago.
Dear author of article - get your arse OFF that panel until you have educated yourself. Go read a book for a start. I am my childrens mum and I have a RIGHT to know all of their history. My children have a RIGHT to know WHY they were removed. How dare you insult my children by claiming they are blank canvasses? And Joe Public have a right not to be misled by that utter twaddle you wrote as well
I needed to rant this out. And correct any members of the public who believed that
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.
Adoption
What complete utter drivel
Lilka · 07/05/2012 11:52
Ha ha ha what a loon. I can't believe someone with that attitude is allowed to sit on adoption panels.
I do agree though that SWs shouldn't put so much pressure on adoptive parents not to change a childs name.
Our dd has the most unusual (and dare I say it "chavvy") name I have ever heard. It doesn't appear in any lists and googling it brings up no matches. We discussed changing it with SWs. They were very much against us doing so for all the usual reasons, identity, it was the only thing her BM could give her ect. So we kept it and I will admit for a long time I was embarrassed when I had to tell strangers her name 
.
When I first joined MN I started a "what do you think of this name thread" the response was one of horror that anyone would ever land a poor child with that name 
.
However, several years later I couldn't imagine her being called anything else. We have our own family NN for her but happily use her real name as well.
The problem we have is how easily she could be traced. She was recently hugely excited to be asked to present flowers to a member of the royal family. The result was her appearing on the national and local television news (the local Tv news showed her being interviewed and put her name on screen). She was in 4 local papers with one mentioning the street we live in and the school she goes to. She was named and interviewed on two radio stations.
All her family live fairly close to us (they would have access to all the papers and local news stations). They haven't seen her since she was less than a year old. I'm sure at least a few of them now know what she looks like, where she lives and what school she goes to.
I'm dying to know what her name is now!
I do think it's better to change a name if it's highly unusual, or identifying, like in your instance, but it would really depend on the age of the child. I think all we plan on doing really is changing any weird spellings, or possibly adding/changing a middle name. As if anyone would really put themselves through all this rigmarole and then decide not to go ahead because of a chavvy name! I think the DM just pulls their stories out of their arses to be honest.
Skinny - There can be problems around names of course, especially tracing. All three of mine were given unusual names. Both my girls kept their first names, and DD1 changed her middle names. Entirely her own choice. DD2 loves all her names and wouldn't have considered changing anything. DS got a new first name, we had a problematic security issue
DD1 is definitely trace-able with her name. She has a nickname on FB, as well as the strictest security settings, although even that may not be enough. I can't find her name on any lists, on any of the ONS tables. Some people on FB have her name, but very few, most of them aren't in the UK. BUT it is IMHO a lovely name
Actually, lots of these so called 'chavvy' names are names I really like
I think lots of parents worry when they see their childs name on paper for the first time. When you don't know your child, everything on paper will stand out, especially the name. Many adopters stop worrying after their child comes home because the name either fits them, or it fades into the background because there is so much more to your child than their name once you get to know them
Anyway, this article didn't deal with names in a good way. The only 'snob' I could see in sight was the author, although that's what she accused us parents of being!!
Happy - here too. Everyone I know who adopted outside the UK was given as much information as was available. If there was little information given then it was because they didn't have much. I have every measurement of DS taken since birth and every vaccination he was given down to the date and dosage.I changed DS's name (given to him by a doctor not birth parents) not particularly because I had a problem with it (in fact I became very fond of it and struggled terribly with the idea of giving it up) but because I wasn;t at all sure people in most of the UK would recognise it as a name in English and it would sadly be shortened into a (relatively mild) swearword. Its still his second name.
I don't a single adoptive parent who wouldn't adopt a child because of their name.
I can;t beleive she's truly asserting that less information is better Yeah because thats worked a treat in the past 
My DD1's name is in the same 'genre' of name certain people enjoy sneering at. It's also a lovely name, so clearly some people have no taste in names at all, though they clearly think they do
Goodness knows what the author would make of actual unique names. For all the names your adopted child coulod have, Gemma-Mai is actually very nice (IMHO) as is Jayde etc. They are just average names with slightly different spellings or hyphens. In many parts/cities of the US, it's the norm for AA children to have either unique or African-sounding names, so if you look on a US photolisting, you get names such as, say, Matronesia, Sh'quivian, Adanmaolisa, Za'morean, Diajhane'
, A'tahj'shay and so on. Not to mention Jaedionne (Jayden). That's ordinary enough there. Could you imagine the DM authors reaction if baby Shunterria came to the panel to be matched? She's probably have a heart attack
But I agree with you MrsDV, kinship carers can often be the best home, and I can't imagine how insulted I'd feel if I was you
Imagine the childs new "middle class/posh" (sarcastic emoticon) adoptive surname was hard to pronounce or unusual. Chardonnay Dayzee Cholmondeley-Featherstonhaugh anybody?
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