Kung Fu Panda 2

[Italiangreyhound]

Hi, apologies for crashing in, I am normally on the (assisted) conception threads but I occasionally read these threads too. We are undergoing fertility treatment but my husband and I have been considering adoption for a while. I am not an adopter, I just wanted to ask an opinion, please.

I watched Kung Fu Panda 2 today (as we have a birth child aged 7 - actually I love kids films so I watched it because I love kid's films!) Anyway, adoption is one of the themes in this film, although of course it is a very specific adoption situation. I just wondered if any adopters had watched it and had any thoughts on it. Have you let your adopted children watched it.

I found the film wonderful for action and positive themes but wondered how adopters could talk about the difficult themes with adopted children.

Many thanks and Happy New Year to all.

[Lilka]

Yeah, I started a thread about this movie when it was about to come out here www.mumsnet.com/Talk/adoptions/1226631-Kung-Fu-Panda-2-just-a-heads-up-its-about-adoption

If you are considering adoption it's certainly a good idea to be thinking about this now. My two did see it and they were actually mostly fine. DD had a couple of comments but DS didn't seem to care at all. I did wait until it was out on DVD, but that wasn't really to do with the content

[Kayano]

I am adopted and it has NEVER even crossed my Mind despite seeing it. Why not just enjoy the film and address any questions as they are raised?

[Lilka]

And btw, they both loved Tangled (Rapunzel)! I was much more worried about that one because it's out and out kidnap of baby by evil Amum! That's not to say they didn't have issues with it, because they did, but they still wanted to see it again and they have that on DVD as well. I think you have to emphasise the differences between your childs situation and the one on the screen though, make it clear that one is a fiction story and real life is different.

[Lilka]

The real problem is though that actually I've known a huge number of todays adoptees have issues with movies - just heightens their own insecurities or is frightnening sometimes because they already have trauma issues. But every chld is different so judge on what their reactions are to similar situations.

Now DD2 and Tracy Beaker is something I definitely look back on with horror

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks so much, I was just curious, it is not an issue for me at the moment as I have not adopted and only know one family who have adopted a child locally.

Thanks for taking the time to reply and Happy New Year.

[Kewcumber]

I know peoples children who have been extremely distressed by the film and it has triggered a difficult phase but I don't think you can generalise. I think most children go through a very sensitive phase at some point or other (or several) where the treatment of adoption in the media can upset them. Partly because its rarely handled very well IME.

[Italiangreyhound]

Thanks Kew can you think of any places/books/media where it is handled well, please? I guess like a lot of things the media tends to sensationalise and of course King Fu Panda is a really dramatic story (if you took it to be about people it would be hugely alarming!).

Just interested to know which mediums deal with it well.

Thanks.

[Kewcumber]

I can't think of anywhere offhand that handles it well. Paddington is OK! And superman pretty good too...

Most film portrayals of fictitious adoptions tend to revolve around orphanages which are always grim and fake "real" parents coming back to claim child.

[Italiangreyhound]

Oh I have just thought of one that is quite good although it also contains fake 'real' (baddie) parents coming back. Stuart Little! It's in no way a favourite of mine at all but I must admit it has some nice touches and the parents are lovely, plus the cats are funny. Or is it just too confusing for children to have animals and people adopting like that!

[Lilka]

Both DD's one and two loved 'Annie'..they used to sing and dance to all the music, and we've to see it at the theatre twice together. I guess the orphanage and losing her parents was pretty typical for the time it's set in - I know being adopted by a millionaire isn't!! Of course it uses 'real parents' throughout but it might be the most appropriate term, considering the 100's of fake parents who show up to try and get money!! I rememeber having that discussion with DD2 - she said why is Annie talking about her real parents when everyone is real, I said sadly the ones outside Warbucks gate are not real parents at all....

Anyway, moving on. DD1 also loved Anne of Green Gables although that's noting like modern adoption. She got it when she was in care, as a present from her foster mum, and she used to sleep with it under her pillow because she loved it so much. Still her favourite set of books ever. In fact when she was adopted she decided to legally change her middle names, and the names she chose were inspired by AofGG. Bless her so sweet...she's never regretted her decision

[Italiangreyhound]

Lilka what a really lovely story. I am sure you are a fab mum to your girls. They must be such a great pair. I have read yours and Kews posts many times before, thanks for taking the time to reply.

[Kewcumber]

My problem is that DS came from what people in this country would call an "orphanage" although I never use the word with him to avoid as far as possible the connotations. Orphanages in this country are almost without exception grim and DS@s certainly wasn;t and his carers were lovely kind women.

My problem with Stuart Little 1 is that when his "real" parents turn up he is given back to them! Ok there is a bit of wringing of hands but still, he is just sent off with them!

DS doesn't see it at the moment though we did have a short - that's silly isn't it because adoption isn't like that - conversation. I think on the whole at 6 they still haven't started processing what they've been through.

Why does it worry you Italian - in practice you have to deal with a great many things and there's generally the curveball that you totally aren;t expecting and haven't considered rather than the ones you anticipate.

[OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere]

I get caught out a fair bit with DS and films.
HOOK was the first big suprise. He was in bits at that. It was the baby being taken that did it.
Where the Wild Things Are has a very strong undercurrent of loss and anger.
A series of Unfortunate Events
Nanny McPhee

Not so much adoption but loss and seperation.

He is just getting into Tracey Beaker. Its a hard one for both of us. He is starting to look at it sideways and I cant bear to watch it because it was DD's favourite and I just cant deal with it. I keep an eye on him from the kitchen when he watches it though, just in case.

[Kewcumber]

Actually I've thought of one I do like "ROY"!?

In case you don;t know CBBC - northern ireland family who have a cartoon baby left on their door step and adopt him. I like it because apart from the explanation of why they have a cartoon son there are no special dramatics over the adoption bit. OF course not the one to watch if you are trying to bring out some issues to discuss!

[Primafacie]

Lilka, I was a huuuuge AOGG fan, I bet I can guess your DD's middle names in three tries :o

[Kewcumber]

me too I read every book in the series obsessively (in fact I still have them stored under my bed

[Primafacie]

I call Cordelia!

Kew, your turn :)

[Italiangreyhound]

Kew DH and I have thought about adoption a few times, still trying via fertility treatment with donor eggs for number 2. I read many of the things you wrote in the past about adoption and I guess if I ever do it (I have wanted to do it for years which is why it has been so hard because I wanted to do it but did not feel able and you can't be doing fertility treatment and adoption for obvious reasons!) I guess I am trying to think it all through because this is our last fertility attempt and I know we would like more kids. My experience of 'orphans' was first in a Romanian orphanage where actually some/many of the children had parents but did not live with them. I wanted to adopt the children but I was too young and now I feel I am almost too old!

But reading and thinking about it all helps me to feel I am considering it and so thank you for replying.

[Lilka]

Mrs DV - Tracy Beaker is not an experience I want to repeat We got a couple of good talks in from the book - about TB's fantasies about her amazing absent mum. But the TV program...never ever again! The dumb adults being constantly outwitted by the smart and in control children, was not the right message DD2 needed to be getting!

I'm not going to say what DD's middle names are...but not Cordelia. She did have a doll called Cordelia though, with very red hair, which I'm pretty sure she still has :)