In 5 days we'll know if we are able to adopt a little girl

(514 Posts)
lettinggo Sat 25-Jun-11 12:44:18

I won't go thorugh all the process that's brought us this far, but we're 6 1/2 years in the process.

In 5 days time, on June 30th, we're going to find out if we will be able to adopt a little girl from Russia. She must be made available for domestic adoption until June 30th and after that will be able to be adopted internationally. She has some minor health issues, as far as we know nothing hugely serious, but apparantly Russians don't like to adopt children with health issues. She's been adoptable since she was 2 months old.

For the past month we've known about her and have been told that if she doesn't get adopted domestically, we will be allowed to adopt her. In my heart I know we should be hoping she gets to be adopted domestically because that would obviously be what is best for her but it's hard not to hope that it doesn't happen. I'm just not that good.

And now there's only 5 days to go and she's still there. I'm not at all religious, I certainly don't pray. But I remember years ago doing a novena (type of prayer service you do for 9 days where you pray for a specific thing) to St Francis Xavier and the words are rattling around in my head

"but if what I ask is not for the glory of God and the good of my soul,
I pray and desire that which is most conducive to both"

Might not make sense to anyone not Catholic but it's a comfort at the moment.
Sorry for the ramble. I wish I could go to sleep and wake up on Thursday at 1pm (close of business in that part of Russia).

Marylou62 Sun 04-Jan-15 12:56:54

I have lurked here for ages and don't feel I have a 'right' to comment but WOW...just WOW! I've just spent a most enjoyable few hours in bed reading every a lurker I feel I' know' you all so well....You are all amazing....heart warming and tear inducing in places....good luck to you all...AFM...I had always wanted to adopt/foster....from a very young age...teens or special needs...I always intended to do it when mine were grown...well they are but I am having a terrible menopause(and a bit unwell).....I think you are all amazing...I am still working on it...

Lovely thanks mineallmine.

Pop over and chip in if you wish to.

mineallmine Wed 31-Dec-14 00:35:55

Thanks for the lovely comments. She's pure gorgeous, there's no doubt about it. She definitely has a spark about her that makes people go gooey over her!

Italian, brilliant answer and I'm kicking myself that I didn't think of it. I hope you had a lovely Christmas as a family of foursmile

LittleMissDonkeyonADustyRoad Tue 30-Dec-14 20:05:34

This is the first time I have read this thread and I have tears rolling down my cheeks, so heartwarming smile

Howlongtillbedtime Tue 30-Dec-14 20:04:03

I remember this from the beginning, such a lovely and amazing journey .

So pleased to hear from you again . There are a couple of peoples stories I always think of and yours is one of them .

slkk Tue 30-Dec-14 19:28:13

Read this thread from start to finish. Lovely to hear an update and to know you are all doing so well.

Mineallmine yay, fabbo and so lovely to hear from you.

My ds has said he wanted to go grow in my tummy. I use that old chestnut, you grew in my heart! Actually I said you were in my heart from the time we first met!

All best wishes, Mineallmine.

WerewolfBarMitzvah Mon 29-Dec-14 22:06:13

This is truly the most beautiful thing I've read on the internet mine
Your dd is so lucky to have so much love in her life now. Your love for her shines out from your words - even right at the very beginning.
I'm so moved by this - I've cried for an hour while reading it! Must rehydrate!

mineallmine Mon 29-Dec-14 19:28:49

Just thought of another thing I don't want to forget about her at this age. She's really good at sharing and whenever someone gives her eg a lollipop, she puts up her other hand and days 'One for my brother'

mineallmine Mon 29-Dec-14 19:13:33

No nerd for anyone to reply. I just want to make a kind of diary entry to mark where we are now. We're three yes home with did now and just finished our final post placement report for Russia. Our SW says dd is very attached and happy and asked us to talk to a group of prospective adopters about all that we did to promote attachment so that was a real compliment to us. I mentioned mumsnet as a place of education!!

dd is a really happy natured child. At the moment, she says 'I love being in my family' a lot and is always full of 'I love you' for me dh and ds. I often tell her her story which starts with 'When u were a tiny baby, u grew in X's tummy' and for the first tome , this wrrl she said 'No, I grew in your tummy.' So I said 'No, you grew in X's tummy and...' and she stopped me and said 'No, I want to grow in your tummy' sad sad So for the first time, she's starting to be aware that being adopted is a not different.

She's had a final speech and language assessment and has been declared average, a great wordsmile She's a little young for her age so we've decided to delay starting school for another year.

This will also go down as the year of the standoff with granny about Christmas and birthday presents. The bitch still didn't give equal presents but at least dd got something this year.

All in all, she's the greatest blessing to our family (although the poor dog would not agree - he's still justifiably terrified of her)

Lotta1234 Mon 04-Mar-13 18:10:49

Such a great story. Thanks for sharing. Just been talking to dh about adopting.

Happyasapiginshite congrats, great news.

HappyHugs Thu 28-Feb-13 16:43:04

Happy, I just read this whole thread in one sittinb. Its an amazing story, your family sounds so wonderful. I have 3 bio kids the youngest is 2 and your blog makes me want to adopt a little girl....beautiful story. Well done you!

I'm ridiculously happy to have worked out today that dd has lived longer with us than in her baby home. I was already gearing up for March 5th at which time she'll be longer with us than in Russia. But in between making dinner and playing cars on the floor with her, I worked out that she was in her baby home for 1 year and 32 days and has been with us for 1 year and 41 days!!!!

rosieposey Wed 23-Jan-13 23:13:38

Ahhh I've just spent an hour and a half reading this thread from start to finish and have seen the photos of your beautiful family smile

What a wonderful story for you all, she is a beauty and I'm so glad she is your DD. I have cried on nearly every page ( a bit hormonal after having dc 5 7 weeks ago) because you have a gorgeous way of expressing how much you all love this little dot and how much she has changed your lives.

So glad for you all - what a beautiful journey and you are all still so near the beginning. Thank you sharing it smile I will look for updates smile

Thanks funnychic, I can't help but agree with you grin

funnychic Wed 23-Jan-13 21:36:48

Thanks so much your kids are lovely. xx

OK funnychic, there's 2 photos there now.

If you hover over someone's name and a line appears under it, you can look at their profile and there may be photos on it. I'm going to put a photo of dd on again now for a couple of days so if you hover over my name in a minute, you'll be able to access my photos. Lucky you grin grin

funnychic Wed 23-Jan-13 19:51:47

Hiya everyone

I am confused! Photo's how do you see someone's photo's? I seemed to have missed a trick on here!!

ds is 12 and dd is 2.

Thanks so much Happyasapiginshite, great.

Could I ask the age difference between your children, please?

Italian - so sorry, I thought I'd replied to you before now. The book Kristina sent to me is called Babytalk. Here's the Amazon link to it.
It really is a good book to use - I still use it. It makes you feel good because most of the suggestions are things you'll find you're doing already so you feel very smug! It focuses you though, makes you think about how you're doing things. DD was just back with the speech therapist last week and she doesn't want to see her again until June. DD is flying now with her speech. She's still behind some of my friends' children who are a similar age but she has over 50 words so is officially in the 'average' range for a child of 2 years. Every day there's new words and 2 word sentences. (yesterday's word of the day, repeated many times in just the right tone, was 'Jesus'blush)

I felt the same as you about wanting the sibling relationship to be good. My ds was (in hindsight) too involved in the waiting for dd so there was a huge build up and expectation for him. He thought life was going to be perfect from the beginning. In many ways it was in that dd loved him from the start and let him hold and play with her long before she let dh into her heart. It was hard for him too, though, because she really did consume every bit of me. She wanted to be in my arms constantly for months, and while I know this was really important for her for her attachment to me, it meant I really had no energy left for him. I feel like I've been a shit mother to him for the last year. We're out the other side of it now and it was good for ds and dh because they stuck together and did lots of things together instead but I'm making a very conscious effort to spend time with ds now.

Dd and ds are great pals, but ds does have to be told to play with her. If he had his choice, he would come in from school, throw her in the air a couple of times and that would be that. While he loves her, she is boring to him too. He doesn't enjoy sitting on the floor playing princess castles with her (funnily enough). My niece is 6 and she is dd's favourite person in the world. She follows her around like her shadow. Dn really enjoys playing with her and their relationship is just beautiful to watch. Dn is an only child so it's lovely for her to have a 'girl cousin.' In many ways, she's like a bridge between ds and dd if that makes any sense? I hope the three of them grow up to be always close.

I think it will be very hard for your dd when you have your child. I thought I'd prepared ds for it but I had no idea just how much all of our lives would revolve around her. My ds is a quiet fella, not at all attention-seeking, and he found it a huge transition. Even though I feel like he was very much sidelined, I don't know what I could have done differently. Dd needed me more. I'm glad ds was at an age where to some extent he was able to understand. And now that we're a year down the line, I can see that it's all-consuming for a time and then things even out.

This has turned into an essay, sorry!

littlemoon86 Mon 21-Jan-13 21:09:08

What a beautiful and inspiring story. I missed your photos too!

happygilmore Fri 28-Dec-12 10:50:54

Have just read your story through from the beginning, wow it brought a tear to my eye. What an amazing family you are! Sorry missed your photos, but I imagine your daughter is just beautiful.

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