The OP -- the idea that feminists hate men - is a common misconception. I've heard it so many times. Young women, at the age when they're looking for their life partner, don't want to identify as feminists because, to their mind, being a feminist means an anti-male attitude and might put men they find attractive off.
It depends so much on how the individual understands the word "feminist". My family see it in the same light as "humanitarian" - i.e. a belief held by most educated people -- we assume that everyone's a feminist. But there are also lots of people who equate feminism with a very outdated and extreme anti-male attitude.
My younger DS is currently taking part in a loads of ethical discussions at college as part of his course. He is causing a bit of a stir, it seems, with his anti-sexist passion. Mind you, it's a shame that him having these views is unusual enough for anyone to notice.
Totally agree with you Writehand - it's important that we understand feminism as simply believing in equality for human beings, regardless of gender, race, sexual orientation or other factors. I teach at a university and use a lot of feminist theory in my courses. Young female students so often will refuse to identify as feminists, saying 'I believe in equality, not the superiority of women.' The minute they realism that they are in fact feminists, they don't feel so bad about using the term! The term's perhaps not helpful. Students ask why there's the 'fem' part of the word if it doesn't just refer to women. I just tell them that, when the term was coined, it was originally a concern of women because women had so far to go to gain anything resembling equality. Words' meanings change over time, I tell them. Think about 'hysterical' - originally referring only to those with wombs (ie women), now used in common parlance to refer to anyone, regardless of gender.
And, may I just say, your DS sounds like an awesome young man. More power to you and your family!