Any advice on getting 17 yr old up please

(49 Posts)
babyface Thu 08-Sep-16 09:09:24

12 year old dd has recently started the same school as her 17 year old brother. Her assembly is at 8.45, his is at 8.50. We are 5mins drive (on narrow country roads with no buses) away. She wants to get to school at 8.30. He gets up at approx 8.42!! And is pure evil in the mornings. I would also worry that left to his own devices that he just wont go to school-we just have to get thru to may! Any help avoiding morning meltdowns appreciated!

VioletBam Thu 08-Sep-16 09:10:45

Why are you driving them such a short distance? Can't he cycle? I understand you perhaps wanting to drive the younger one whilst she's getting used to things perhaps....but a 17 year old being driven that far to school?

I think that's where your problem lies to be honest.

Make him take responsibility

123MothergotafleA Thu 08-Sep-16 09:14:00

Bucket of cold water.....?

emilywemily Thu 08-Sep-16 09:14:27

I imagine the roads are 60 roads wouldn't want my kids walking along them

FeckinCrutches Thu 08-Sep-16 09:16:00

So he is making you late every morning?

RJnomore1 Thu 08-Sep-16 09:16:30

I'd absolutely leave him. One reminder then that's it, why should your dd suffer?

And if he didn't go to school id be changing the wifi code, removing console controllers, stopping any financial input, not buying treat foods - whatever he enjoys about life basically.

I do have an almost 17yo dd and it frustrates me horribly, at that age dh abd I both had full time jobs and contributed to household expenses, they don't have a decking clue do they?

VioletBam Thu 08-Sep-16 09:24:49

Emily OP says they're narrow country roads.

FrancisCrawford Thu 08-Sep-16 09:27:02

Leave without him.
Let him suffer the consequences.

He's 17, so not a kid. He need to learn to start acting like an adult and this is an excellent place to start.vif he wants the privileges of being an older teen (eg later curfew) then he has to accept the responsibilities too. Starting with getting up in sufficient time to leave when the driver is leaving.

My sibling was like this and my mother enabled it. She said "oh, that's just how she is! She's disorganised, she just needs a bit more help" etc. Nope, she just didn't care about anyone else.

it has left me with a phobia of being late, to the point of panic attacks. I'm also habitually early for appointments and will longer outside, go get a coffee for 15 mins etc.

And my sibling is still self-obsessed. It was too much effort for her to come to mums funeral this summer.

yeOldeTrout Thu 08-Sep-16 09:30:36

Drive her up, drop her off, back home to fetch him & charge him for your time & petrol on 2nd journey.

Is he in year 13? What does he want to do after yr13?

yeOldeTrout Thu 08-Sep-16 09:31:18

... who was it on MN, woke her teens up with a steaming cup of tea thrust into their hands. They either sat up & dealt with it or got burnt.

GetAHaircutCarl Thu 08-Sep-16 09:34:00

I open the door, turn on the light and leave cups of tea outside their rooms.

PortiaCastis Thu 08-Sep-16 09:46:32

Sorry but my answer is make him walk. If he's late that's his fault and he will have to accept the consequences for being late

babyface Thu 08-Sep-16 09:57:39

I like the bucket of cold water idea 123MothergotafleA .. maybe a cup tho so less drying...or maybe not 😂
He worked all summer so pays for most of his own stuff already. . I will have more leverage when his savings run out!! Nice to know others are in the same boat.. it may well have to be 2 runs on the days I'm not working yeOldeTrout.. taxi fair sounds good wink

VioletBam Thu 08-Sep-16 10:03:00

You'd go back for him?

Why would you let him be so lazy?

PortiaCastis Thu 08-Sep-16 10:04:46

Sorry but make the lazy bugger walk. You cant wipe his bum for him all his life!

babyface Thu 08-Sep-16 10:08:31

He seems to be lazy whether or not I 'let' him!! Though head chef where he works told me it's great to meet a young lad who knows how to work shock I nearly fell over.. unfortunately his work ethic does not come home with him and his little sis is getting very fustrated

FrancisCrawford Thu 08-Sep-16 10:12:20

Definitely don't do a second run with him!

Let him get there under his own steam. I'm presuming you don't run him back and forward to his work?

KayJBee Thu 08-Sep-16 10:14:48

Tell him the night before when you will be leaving, if daughter is ready, leave at that time. If he's in the car, great, if he's not then he has to make his own way, if that means walking or cycling then so be it. It was his choice to not be ready. At 17 he is old enough to get himself to a school that is only a 5 min drive away.

babyface Thu 08-Sep-16 10:16:30

If I don't drive him he hitch hikes

PortiaCastis Thu 08-Sep-16 10:19:43

Really ????

5BlueHydrangea Thu 08-Sep-16 10:24:23

Oh dear. He thinks that's safe??
Does he have a bicycle? Does he not get in trouble at school if he is late?

Bobochic Thu 08-Sep-16 10:36:03

You have to start getting firm about bed times and electronics in the bedroom. DC who cannot get up at 8am are not getting enough sleep.

Artandco Thu 08-Sep-16 10:38:10

Just say you leave at 8.30am. Anyone not ready makes there own way and deals with the consequences of being late

blueskyinmarch Thu 08-Sep-16 10:40:00

At 17 mine were told you will be ready to leave at X time or i will go without you. They knew i would follow through and were always ready even if it was with seconds to spare. It was 45 minute walk to their school with no buses and expensive taxi’s so they were aware of the consequences.

If i was you i would set a time for leaving and if he is not ready just go. It might take a few times with him missing this and having to walk/hitch but he will eventually get the idea.

babyface Thu 08-Sep-16 10:47:03

It's amazing how he manages to be on time.. it's like a super hero power. He can be the last one of the family up (and we do have some good time keepers!) And still waltz in to wherever he is going cool as a cucumber right on the dot

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