Son arrested for burglary(43 Posts)
Hi I am sick with worry the police knocked at four in the morning to say that have arresested my 16 year old for burglary he was with an older boy and a lawn mower was chucked in the hedge and him and his friend was hiding there. He has never been in trouble before I have never been in a police station what will happen today I can't stop shakeing. Can anyone help? They searched his room and out buildings and found nothing.
No practical help to offer but hope you're okay x
Thanks I don't think I am ok you never think its going to be your own do you?
Greenbed, at 16 he can't be interviewed without an adult present. Have you been asked to do this or has an Appropriate Adult been allotted? Look up this role, ask the police (you can ring them). Has a lawyer been appointed? He can have access to this.
He'll be treated well, the police have strict rules to follow with people so young. So don't worry about how he is now, there's not much you can do but wait.
I can tell you a bit. It will take me a while to type - hang on 20 mins or so.
Thanks yes they will call me to interview him. Thanks so much I was waiting for a backlash you are all so kind.
It's one of his rights to have a lawyer present and definately don't let the interview start without one. When you go in check that this has been requested (you don't need to do this in advance). If your son has refused a lawyer encourage him otherwise. If it comes to it refuse to go into the interview without a lawyer, they can't start without you.
No backlash at all, I feel for you in this awful situation and I think it happens to more people then let on. I doubt you'll be 'filling in' your neighbours... The best outcome will be that nothing goes on his record and sometimes his approach (as directed by the lawyer) will determine this. Afterwards you need to look into why this happened, but don't focus on that now. He's probably very scared and he needs you to be strong and support him, I suspect that today will be difficult for both of you but there is every chance that he'll be at home with you by tonight.
...tomorrow is when he REALLY gets in trouble... With you!
OK, here goes... My son has been arrested 3 times, and I went with him to the police station the first time (but not the second, because he had assaulted me, and not the most recent time - this Saturday night - because now he's 17 he doesn't need a parent with him apparently, and didn't want me there).
I must say, I was pretty traumatised that first time, so you have my sympathy.
You say "what will happen later?" so I guess either he has an appointment to present himself at the police station to be arrested, or they already have him in custody and you are going to go down there. Like West says, he has to have an adult present, but it doesn't have to be you. If your relationship with him is good and you want to support him, I'd say be brave and go. If you think he should face this without parental back-up, you can refuse, and they will find a social worker or other responsible adult to sit in on the interview. If you are very upset, it might be best if it isn't you, because the responsible adult's role is to make sure your son understands everything that is being said to him.
What happens exactly will depend on your son's attitude and whether he admits to what they believe he's done. They will treat him decently in any case, but if he behaves rudely or stupidly or is a bit of a d*ck, they may 'forget' certain things (like breakfast for several hours).
If he has been arrested and is in custody already, he will be being held in cells until you/a responsible adult arrives. He will have had his possessions temporarily confiscated, plus anything he might be able to harm himself with - including for example the string in his tracksuit bottoms, if he's wearing any. He will have been given 'disposable clothes' to wear if they take any of his, e.g. for forensic analysis. If he has an appointment, he won't have to spend time in the cells - he'll just go straight to interview.
There will be paperwork: basic details like name, address, parents, etc.
He will have fingerprints and a DNA sample taken. This can be a strand of hair or a mouth swab. These records are kept forever.
He should be offered a lawyer, or you can arrange one for him. Burglary is serious, so he should probably have one. He should definitely have one if it looks like he is being charged with burglary and says he hasn't done it.
He will be interviewed. The interview will be recorded. He'll be asked questions about what's happened. Telling the truth is very definitely the best plan. The responsible adult will make sure your son understands. The lawyer will advise him on what to say.
If your son has done what he is charged with and admits it and co-operates, the whole process will be shorter and easier, and the police will probably be quite pleasant/friendly. They have more experience than you do of young men/boys doing stupid things and they will be quite used to this kind of situation.
The outcome will be different, too. If he admits to what they think he has done, and expresses regret, and (like you say) hasn't been in trouble before, he will probably get what is called a 'reprimand'. This is a formal warning. Nothing happens after this. It is removed from his record when he turns 18, and does not need to be declared when he applies for a job, tho' it will show up if he has a CRB/police check. If the offence is more serious, he might get a 'final warning', which is like the reprimand, but also means he is referred to the Youth Offending Team afterwards. I can tell you more about this later, if that is what happens to your son.
If he doesn't admit or hasn't done what they think he's done, I think he will then have to go to court, and I think he will be bailed in the meantime... But I can't tell you about this, because my son has always admitted what he's done, and hasn't been to court yet.
If things are as you describe, it is not at all likely that your son will be facing prison/young offenders institution. But if the offence is more serious than you know (for example, not just theft of a lawnmower, but also violence), I guess it's a possibility. Then he would need to go to court. But as I say, that doesn't sound like it will happen.
Throughout, whatever happens, the police will probably be very pleasant to you. They will probably blame you less than you blame yourself. Good luck.
Actually, I have been pretty traumatised every time. You're going to have a horrible day. But nothing you can't handle. hugs
I just realised I have assumed you're in England/Wales. Things will be different if you are in Scotland or elsewhere.
Good advice flow. To give context I have been a volunteer Appropriate Adult in the past and have accompanied many young people in custody. The fact that as a parent you are willing to go along shows the police that he has good family support but I would recommend looking up information on Appropriate Adults as you are undertaking this role without training... The police will understand this but you have rights in the process and it would help to understand them.
Good luck and ask away if you have more questions.
Nothing to add as no experience (mine are still preschoolers) but just wanted to wish you well for what will probably be a tough day <hug>
Burglary is serious. He must have a lawyer. If the older boy has previous convictions or if he is technically an adult there will be some element of him 'leading your son astray' - particularly if your son has no previous convictions. Your support will also weigh in his favour, a young defendant who has family support is perceived to be more likely to successfully re-habilitate so stick with him (if he'll let you!)
This could all be jumping the gun. Hopefully there will be no charges but do consult a lawyer. Good luck. Maybe this will be the shock your son needs to find some better friends!
Am sorry I don't quite understand why they were arrested, did they throw the lawn mower? Sorry am probably being a bit thick here. Hope your ok op.
I can tell you from direct recent personal experience that the most likely outcome, if your son admits what he has done, is that he will get a reprimand or final warning. I was totally gobsmacked that my son 'only' got a reprimand, because like Grapes I think 'burglary is serious'... But like the CID officer said, it is in no-one's interest for him to go to court if it can be avoided.
Thanks flow yes I am in south England. Thanks for all your good advice I am actually beginning to calm down. HAemdoots the car the boy was driving had the boot open it would be my biggest wish he was innocent but I don't think he is. fLow 4 did this go into the local paper I am so ashamed especially if my mum read it.
Thanks west country I am just about to look up what you said. The other boy is seventeen. Can I ring the police station now and request a lawyer?
Ring the police station and check if a lawyer is being called. Tell them that you want a lawyer involved and if your son hasn't requested one ask them to pass on the message that you want him to have one.
Ah ok I am with you now, I sincerely hope you are ok, but I hope your son learns from this and never does anything like this again, as a victim of burglary myself it was a very traumatising experience for me as a young girl to see my dgm tied up and me and my dsis to be threatened with our lives.
Yes you are right HAemdoots I feel so ashamed. I did my best it's heartbreaking you always think its going to be someone else's. Child not yours.
No, it wasn't in the papers, Green. And if they print anything relating to your son, they are not allowed to name him or identify him in any way because he is under 18.
Burglary covers such a wide range of incidents - my son went through an unlocked door into a house he knew, and stole something from an ex-friend - all the way up to the horrible aggravated burglary Haemadoots experienced If your son has been involved in something like that, it is of course more serious, and he may not just get a reprimand.
Thank god maybe I can keep it quiet then. Is your son sorted out now flow?
Oh flow I just noticed your other thread I am very similar to you I also need-a clear crb check for my job, Wilson don't want the police round.
You sound like a lovely parent thanks for our good advice, still waiting for the police to ring think it's going to a really long day
Sorry not Wilson and your good advice not mine.
Don't worry - I realised they were typos It depends on what you mean by 'sorted out'... The police business is all over, but he's still hanging around with nothing constructive to do, and I can barely look him in the eye yet
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